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Recipe for Disaster

  1. Beer Cheese Soup
  2. Sourdough loaf

I used to think bliss was eating amazing soup out of a small loaf of crusty bread, once upon a time. Now I think it’s death.

What is divine is gluten-free soup and ultra fresh salad. Thanks, Gingham’s! You were the love of my life, especially with your house blend of ranch and Italian dressings made from scratch. I always felt alive after that meal despite my supposed dairy issue.

I’ve been thinking about my history with dairy. I used to be able to drink a half gallon of skim milk every day and eat a pint of ice cream when I really felt like it. (I was biking twenty hours a week, so burning a lot of calories. Not for cardio, though, but for endurance training. My cardio came from walking up the stairs of the six story building I worked in downtown. Every break.)

I used to eat ranch dressing… I used to eat fried chicken and cheddar cheese.

Then my ex-husband came into the picture and suddenly sour cream was part of my life. Shredded cheddar rather than block cheddar. Much more pizza than ever before. More bread, by far. I wasn’t that huge on bread unless there was a hamburger involved. (Or pizza sandwiches… or submarine sandwiches.)

And then we moved back with his (amazing) family and I fell in love with rye and dill dip. Cheese on otherwise unappealing vegetables — I found out later, my body doesn’t prefer them at all. That and they were overdone. And bathed in butter, as well. So much saturated fat in a diet like that. It’s not good for ya, y’hear me?

It’s mold that killed me. I can’t eat the cheese because of mold. I can’t have dairy because of MOLD! MOLD, MOLD, MOLD! And as I killed that mold, it eviscerated my innards to the point of every bite equating to level 10 pain in my guts. My doctor couldn’t even tell you that I had a problem with mold. No. My therapist can, though. Puzzle that one out, dear audience.

I lived in a house that grew mold on condensation within three days.

I told the man who owned the house. He did nothing.

Is he legally accountable?

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