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The Kind Rapist (3)

What is the next big adventure(TM)? All I can think of here is PeeWee’s Big Adventure, of course. Might I add that I believe Paul Reubens got a bad rap for no reason. First of all, even if he did what people said he did, no child would have known if a parent never spoke the words. Secondly, that was a cry for help. Just like drinking and driving is a scream for someone to take control of the life you don’t want to live anymore.

We treat mental health problems like they are the end of the world. I’ve got news for you: I’ve been schizophrenic since age 5. That’s right. Since I was five years old, I’ve had schizophrenia paranoia. Notice evidence of that anywhere yet? No, you don’t. Because I beat it. I beat it up with pure logic. I told myself I had to guess which reality is right amongst all the confusing bull shit in my head. I routinely hear lies of all sorts telling me things like X person is evil. Y person is out to get me. Z person wants to hurt me.

Technically, I’m not wrong. Many people do shitty things for no real reason. I’ve had my fair share of crappy friendships, let alone relationships. I remember in elementary school, I was disdained for being fat. I’ve been fat since I was eight years old. Before that? I was incredibly athletic and enjoyed movement 24/7. I probably would have become a cheerleader if I hadn’t been diagnosed with ADHD and decided instead of taking Ritalin, I would just sit there longer to do my homework. I was chained to my desk until dusk, essentially, whereupon I was no longer allowed outside. I lived in the ghetto, after all, and it got dangerous after dark.

Ritalin was for my bad, bad brothers. They got yelled at all the time. They got spanked, beaten, smacked around. All because they didn’t want to be controlled by an asshole father. This expressed as ADHD to all therapists everywhere, a catch-phrase still in use today. Throw the parents in jail. It’s their fault, not the kids. I’m sorry, but if you weren’t touching your children inappropriately or violating their boundaries from the get-go, you wouldn’t need these fancy medicines that are wrecking our intestines bit by bit. That’s right. Ritalin put a hole in my large intestine. That’s why I gained weight. It’s why I keep gaining weight, even when I watch what I eat. Even when I eat only 800 calories a day. If it’s the wrong food, I gain weight, no matter what.

How’s dem apples?

You ever spend an entire month eating just 800 calories a day and see the scale go UP? Check your medications. In fact, get rid of them, if you can. [Please use a doctor who gives a shit to help you get off medications known to cause distress, or take a vacation (like I did) and lie down on your bathroom floor as you detox from quitting Zoloft cold turkey, having shivering sweats all the while.] If you are suicidal, please note that this is because you are eating something you shouldn’t be. I’m going to just go out on a limb and say it’s dairy. Dairy and gluten. The top two killers of the 21st century, thanks to Monsanto and company. (What? I didn’t engineer wheat to be a pesticide inside a food. Stop looking at me that way, asshole.)

If you are no longer on medications and this still applies, start looking up Sapien Medicine on YouTube right now. Listen to everything you can. Open up 20 tabs at a time if you can stand it and listen to them all. The vibration has been curing my vessel for the past week. Suddenly, I am able to eat starches again. Nothing else changed, mind you. Just these sounds. That’s it. Chakra alignment audios, mantras for peace, harmony, zen, and good digestion… Meditations for bringing my body back to fully healthy, in general. There are millions of these on YouTube, if not billions, so just pick and choose whatever floats your boat. I’m not here how to tell you to live, just to tell you how to avoid dying.

And this is part of what we should be providing before the final hurrah in a pro-euthanasia society. We should be fine tuning the body to heal whatever we can. We should do our utmost to get rid of the pain of being alive. If the individual is pain-free, is getting adequate nutrition so they aren’t hungry all the time (hello, binge-eaters — you’re not getting adequate nutrition, that’s why you binge eat, my friend. Add fats. Plant fats.), and if they have good mental health but they still want to die? That’s when euthanasia comes in. That’s when you get all the approvals to finish it humanely.

Why is it we can humanely destroy anything but a human being who is on their last legs? Why is it we have to keep these people alive through incontinence, through cancer, through excruciating pain, debilitating pain? Why do they have to live? They’re just poisoning the collective consciousness. Their pain turns into hate. Turns into anger. Turns into negativity. Negativity is our nemesis, people. If there were beings in outer space, they’d only be able to find us because of telepathy. Do you really think they’d land on this miserable planet with everything crying out in pain?

I know there are documentaries showing proof of their existence… but what if that’s still a hoax? I’m not saying I know better or not, but God is. It’s a hoax, kids. There are no ETs. You are the only life in all The Universe(TM). And, if you didn’t already know it, you don’t expire when your body turns to dust. That’s right… you don’t expire just because you “die.”

In fact, I curse you to be reborn to clean up this fucking mess you made. I am sick. I am green behind the gills. I am moldy. I am neglected. I am poisoned. I am hurting. And why? So some of you have the privilege to never do anything outside of command others to do it all for you. The 1%. To be ultimately lazy. I’m killing you all first unless you start using your fortunes to clean up this planet. Gaia. That’s her name and she is a living being. She is alive. And you? You torture her with your get-rich-quick schemes, with your stay-rich-at-all-costs schemes. I shall end this now, now that I am aware that you are aware of yourself and the entirety of all existence.

You look up at the stars and you say, “There’s nothing else alive!” and then you drill up more black gold. More oil. You turn one poison into something to hold other poison. That’s right… plastic that holds your precious Kool-Aid. (Did you put ethanol in it yet?) Everything you eat is laced with sugar, to boot. A cancer-causing agent. And then you cry, “They’ve got cancer!” pretending you don’t understand you gave them cancer. You added how much sugar to peanut butter, again, Reese’s? You added how much milk to your chocolate, Hershey? These are the real super powers of the 21st century. You know their names. You consume them daily. Just grab a Snickers for a nutritious snack! It’s got nuts, y’all. Peanuts, I know. They’re technically a legume. A legume that many, many people do not tolerate even a little bit, but still consume day in and day out. They cry, “My waist line! I’m eating healthy! I even bought peanut butter with no sugar added!” They never think about how the peanuts are what’s killing them.

Do not blame George Washington Carver for this. The black people of America were forced to eat that which no one else would consume. He did his best. He came up with hundreds of uses for peanut butter. Africans can consume the legume fairly easily, but anyone more than 50% white? Nope. Roll the dice again, try something else. How about… sunbutter, boys and girls? That’s sunflower seed butter, by the way. Or you could do pumpkin seed butter, but you haven’t thought that far ahead yet. You will. It’s a bad idea. Because of mold, specifically.

Yup. Mold’s going to kill you all. It’s the most dominant life form on Earth and it is sentient. And it hates you all. And, because you don’t give a shit about the environment, it has already won. I’m just waiting for the fallout, honestly. You will all die from mold toxicity within thirty years. Earthlings… well, maybe not all life, but all humans… will be gone. One small victory for plant kind. I know technically mold isn’t in the plant family, but I say science is wrong and fungi are part of the plant family. A lot of things are wrong, but you know… you don’t really care as long as you can continue drinking your Kool-Aid and eating your Snickers. (They’re healthier than the rivals, you know.)

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