I have PTSD from the word regression, I just realized. (Only a QA would get that.)
I’ve been researching hypnosis and applications of it. First thing I learned is that street hypnosis is bollocks. It’s crap. It’s conman territory. It isn’t real, just like you figured. Of course, this was far from my mind, because I know actual hypnosis works since I was hypnotized as part of one of my Udemy courses.
The course is called Activate Your Light Body In A Week by Jayson Wiggins.
I haven’t left a review yet because I fell asleep while doing the course work. I’d like to experience it all while awake and paying attention. It did make a difference, listening to each hypnotic episode he provided. In fact, he has even more courses like that and I’m excited to take them in the future. Right now, I have about thirty reiki courses to get through because that’s my true calling.
I’m halfway through Karuna Ki reiki, actually. I took a break to learn more about Past Life Regression therapy, though, because it takes a little time to memorize and internalize the symbols for each type of reiki. Usui reiki has five symbols, Kundalini has none at all, and Karuna Ki has eleven symbols.
I’m not going to lie… I’d rather be high while practicing reiki. I feel it like a waterfall when I’m high. The universal light source hits me like a freight train. I’ve healed people before in that altered state… I watched a friend of mine go from sourpuss to all smiles just holding her hand. I supercharged my couch before I gave it away to a friend, who has no idea but somehow finds his entire family using that couch more than their primary couch these days.
Alas, I am sober and have been for nine months. (When will this stupid country get on board with the trends of the times?!)
Anyway, I have learned there is healing that can take place during Past Life Regression therapy. Sometimes, we make promises or contracts with the deities we believe in or the friends we’ve had or the lovers we’ve loved, and they screw up the present.
For instance, I’ve struck out when it comes to love. Nine times, I’ve tried. Nine times, I’ve lost. I’m tired of the same old, same old, so I’m working on a way to hypnotize myself to go back into my past lives to resolve whatever may be going wrong there. Of course, it’s said that reiki can do the same thing, and maybe it has to some degree, but it’s certainly not to the degree that I believe I need just yet.
I’m afraid… no… reluctant to try to bother with humanity one more time, to look for souls worth knowing, worth speaking to, worth putting my energy into. At this time, I’d rather die.
The entity who has been annoying me/helping me/whatever, a voice inside my head, tells me that there is someone who promised to wait for me. Somehow, I did not make that promise in return… something about fairness to the rest of humanity, having a shot at giving me love.
That was stupid, if you ask me. I’ve been hurt so much by so many people. Even though I’ve only had nine relationships of substance, I had more potential matches throughout my life, more romantic wondering. For forty years I’ve wanted to be safe and for thirty years I’ve wanted someone special to give my energy to. I’m done.
Fuck this idea of some guy being out there waiting for me. It’s a lie. Everything I’ve been told is a lie. I’m sick of lies. I’M SICK OF LIES! I WANT TO DIE. TAKE ME ALREADY, YOU STUPID DEITY. TAKE MY LIFE FROM ME. IT’S OVER. I’M FINISHED.
Angel-Sansara 