Tag: sir deli man

  • Dead Eye Joe Gets an Upgrade

    I feel bad nicknaming the man in the deli “Dead Eye Joe.” The first time I saw him, his eyes were dark, like there was no reason to live any longer. I know how that feels. I know it in my bones, actually, because I don’t particularly want to live anymore myself. However, perhaps just […]

  • When It Doesn’t Fit

    I can hear the Deli Man now in my head: “What about me?!” Well, I didn’t forget you, but I don’t know anything else about you. I’d be your #1 fangirl if you let me. For the rest of your life, actually. But, if you don’t want that, tell me already so I can nip […]

  • Matchmaker

    My dad just admitted to me that he wants to play matchmaker. To set me up with a guy who won’t treat me terribly. As if he’d know. As if you can know any man’s romantic side without being on the other side of them in a romantic relationship. Even the quiet, shy ones can […]

  • Night Coffee

    Our compromise is a late night coffee with fake sugar in it. It’s absolutely not pie. We got the garbage out while we were brewing a fresh half pot. Apparently, being in the hospital is an excuse to not do the garbage. He did it last time he got out of the hospital the same […]

  • Death to the Dragon Man

    Her epic performance was met with… silence. This woman made a five minute marriage proposal video (seven, actually, but who’s counting?) He didn’t talk to her for eons. So, she decided to enter the dragon’s cave, uninvited. She sent her spirit walking across the ocean to the United Kingdom, to his very door step. His […]

  • Farming Sim: Summer

    How do I know God isn’t a mere mortal man? Well, he tells me what the weather will be next month. I doubt anyone can really do that accurately. Not on Earth itself. If they could, they would know we are fucked, in a word. I dunno what possessed me to make this farm. Oh, […]

  • I Need My Husband

    My future husband isn’t here yet. I know someday, he’ll arrive. I don’t know what he looks like, but I can tell you how he’ll behave. That’s the most important thing, when it comes to love, anyway. I should tell you before I begin that everything I type here to show how I’d like him […]

  • “A Day In The Life Of” (Cont’d)

    She met her goals for the day, wouldn’t you know. All but one: making the elusive donut waffle. It’s not that she didn’t have the reagents on hand. Far from it: she had conjure at least 100 waffles, she’d wager. There was something else holding her back. It wasn’t Sir Deli Man – perish the […]

  • “A Day In The Life Of”

    I wake up alone. I’ve tossed and turned all night, rolling around with discomfort. My bladder reminds me that it needs to be emptied, but I lie there, semi-comfortable at last. I cling to the vestiges of sleep, wishing it could last forever. I look at the clock, remembering it’s set an hour ahead somehow […]

  • Invisible Monsters

    He keeps taking away from her. One layer at a time, peeling her back like an onion or ripping a petal off the rose with each challenge. He wants her to expose her true nature: a devil dressed like an angel. That’s his perception of her and he will not change his mind, no matter […]

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