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Angel-Sansara

Tag: narcissism

  • A Broken Heart Isn’t Enough

    As I sit and do research for my next class offering on Udemy (well, my first, perhaps… I have six or seven in progress all at once. A.D.D. for the win!) I have no choice but to hear constant bull shit in my head as my ex, the rapist that he is, tries to combine…

  • What is He Thinking?

    Oh man, I love talking to this girl. She’s so warm and friendly. I think she likes me, so I hang around every break I can to talk to her. She makes me feel good about life again. I wish I wasn’t too shy to ask her out on a date. I should practice just…

  • What is She Thinking?

    She smiled warmly at her coworker. At least, she hoped it was warmly. She put effort into it. He was back again, a honey bee seeking nectar to thrive upon, looking for a delicate flower to pollinate. She knew how to keep him coming back, too. She had to develop the skill set to ensure…

  • What is an I.N.T.J.? (Part 1)

    If you would like to take the Myers-Briggs personality test, click here. (I have no idea if that site is phone savvy, sorry.) There are sixteen personality types. Every human being fits into one of these categories. Except, apparently, my ex-rapist. According to him, he came out an “XXXX” or some bullshit, which isn’t even…

  • A Long Tradition

    I was writing my erotica novel rather diligently yesterday and the day before. I have six chapters thus far, one of which I want to delete and all of which I want to redo. I have broken all the mores (that’s a psychological term that should be pronounced more-aze) of humanity, diving right into taboo…

  • Internet Back Alley Deals

    I’m disgusted in one of my acquaintances. I asked him to make a specific kind of application for me twice now. And, twice now, he decided to make something different and try to force me to pay for it. After a week, he finally figured out something to bait me with: Fox, you blog, right?…

  • Trauma Can Be Prevented

    His eyes never sparkled when he looked at me, not until I nearly wasted away, shedding over 80 pounds. Not once did he look at me like I was the hottest thing on planet Earth, not unless I was acting out, stretching myself to get his attention. Going above and beyond. This should not be…

  • Surah Ali ‘Imran

    “Allah! There is no god save Him, the Alive, the Eternal.” This is the Pickthall translation. Yusaf Ali is also a commonly accepted translator of the holy word and his version is as follows: “Allah! There is no god but He,-the Living, the Self-Subsisting, Eternal.” Now let’s dive in to his message. We all know…

  • Glamour.

    “The only thing that could make me happier right now is some weed,” she heard as she came to a stop at a stop light traveling southbound on the main arterial roadway of the city. Moments later, she could smell cannabis. She was alone in her car, en route to the grocery store for her…

  • No Valentine Here

    I’m not particularly emotional about Valentine’s Day, as I’ve never actually celebrated it with anyone. I’ve come to the conclusion that every person I’ve dated is, in short, a complete asshole and should be fired. With the empathy gun. This is a day you can use to tell your woman she is special. It’s a…

  • Mistakes Have Been Made.

    Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “Learn from the mistakes of others … You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself!” My girlfriend Sheila told me that she had this on her refrigerator for years. A tiny clipping out of the newspaper that stuck with her. Today’s mistake someone else made that I am intent…

  • French Kissing.

    There really aren’t too many kinds of kissing, when one really thinks about it. But we have a ton of words for it, wouldn’t you know? Smooch. Peck. Smackeroo. Snog. Necking. Air-kiss. Blow a kiss. Butterfly kiss. Eskimo kiss. Osculate or osculum — “little mouth.” A quick kiss. A tap kiss. A nose kiss. A…

  • God Complex

    God started talking to me years ago. At first, I was confused, because he sounded just like me. Then, after a little while – after getting used to hearing things that didn’t come from me, myself – it changed. God started to use voices and inflection and lots of mixed metaphors and scrambled sentences. [God…

  • Death & Destruction

    Today is marked with a heavy heart. I must kill my child in order to bring the messiah to Urth. She is the most delightful youthful mirthful brilliant inquisitive and faithless child of all time. She is a pure atheist and the final one, for I am about to reveal to you the rites of…

  • So What Are We?

    I have been wondering who I am for a while now. If I’m psychic and I’m receiving all the information from the people surrounding me… what part of this is actually me? He’s here again. The grey-eyed man. He’s thinking about me right now. He has been all day, on and off again. I can…

  • Need More Input!

    Johnny 5 is alive. “God?” she asked timidly. “Yes?” he replied, waiting for whatever was going to follow next. “I know the big bang was caused by a spark… but what caused the spark?” she pondered aloud. “Oh, that’s embarrassing,” God replied. She asked suddenly, offering the most embarrassing thing she could think of in…

  • You Make Me Crazy

    “Crystal, what are you going to do if you’re not the messiah?” Nick asked casually last night. “Go on SSI. It’s obvious I’ve lost my fucking mind.” “What are you going to do if you are the messiah?” Ben queried next. “Go on SSI. It’s as humble as you can get, n’est-ce pas?“ … She…

  • Asshole Tax

    The man with grey eyes is on my brain today. After at least one week of reprieve, I am now hearing him all over again inside my mind. I wish the things I heard were reality, but I’m sure they’re not. Why would a man I’ve never held a conversation with think about me? Especially…

  • Return to Sender

    I’m puzzled. Supposedly, USPS tried to deliver a letter by certified mail. Just today, a piece of paper was found in the mail box — I absolutely know this piece of paper was inserted after 11/14, because that’s when I checked the mail box myself to find it completely empty. However, this piece of paper…

  • Know Your Rights

    You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be used against you [in a court of law.] It’ll be used against you whether you are in a legal situation or not, I’ve come to find out. Anything I choose to impart on another individual seems to be willfully misinterpreted and…

  • Thought Experiment 26: The Whore of Babylon

    I am woman. I deserve to be loved and cherished. [They Might Be Giants] I deserve to be taken care of emotionally. I deserve to wake up every morning next to my ideal mate. We deserve to smile at each other and start our day off on the right foot, whatever that means for us.…

  • Thought Experiment 1,029: Fornicator Eyes

    I once put on the eyes of a fornicating man. They swept over the sea of flesh, noting everything tan, beige, khaki, and peach. It’s all the same to these eyes: potential flesh to salivate over. Their eyes will track back to that expanse of flesh-color automatically, unashamed at trying to take in the skin…

  • What would you do for True Love(TM)?

    I think I’m over it. The idea that true love exists. I wish I wasn’t… I wish I could be my normal optimistic peppy self, the cheerleader for cheerleaders, and tell you all it exists. It doesn’t. It’s a myth. It makes me sick to think it. It makes me sicker to share it. It…

  • What Is Fornication?

    I think y’all need a lesson in love, friends. Fornication isn’t as straightforward as it seems and I know that. In fact, it takes a mind reader to know exactly how it works. Now that I know (and I’ve wept ever so bitterly for it), let me tell you what it is: Oh, wait, it’s…

  • Is He Really The One(TM)?

    Every person comes to this question eventually. Is the person they chose the right person? I’ve been exposed to something like fifty mindsets in the past eighteen months, as God flits from one interested human bean to the next, showing me what they’re like. Only one man tolerates (if not encourages) the fact that I…

  • Unconventional Breakfast

    Cider-Oat Breakfast Soup Microwave for 3 minutes or so (perhaps longer, if your cider is chilled.) I mulled and reduced some cider for another recipe, so what’s a girl to do with what’s leftover? EAT IT. I am woozy this morning… I slept 15 hours after I exercised twice yesterday. I went through a simple…

  • Radio Silence

    I was listening to a local station and it went silent for over ten minutes. I was kind of surprised… usually the only hiccup in their programming is replaying the same song once midnight rolls around. (I find this an amusing bug in their system… whatever was on when it strikes midnight repeats once the…

  • I’m No Greta/True Love

    Greta wants to save the world for herself. (And of course everyone in her generation and following her generation.) I don’t give a shit about humans anymore. That’s why I called Them(TM) here. That’s right. I called them. I screamed into the depths of The Universe(TM) as I was dying and they came to me.…

  • Somewhere Over The Rainbow…

    God tells me the deli men miss me. I’m like, “Wait! HOLD UP! Men? As in more than one?” That’s exactly what I’m saying, Sansara. Men. Thousands of men daydream about you being in their arms. But, they don’t daydream being in love with you. That’s why we never go anywhere or meet anyone. That’s…

  • Wet Dreams/The Claymation Comedian

    Probably one of the weirdest things I’ve experienced as a new psychopath (psychic) is someone else’s wet dream about me. I was in bed talking to myself. This is a nightly occurrence. I’m always talking to myself… if it’s not God, it’s boys, and suddenly out of nowhere I felt someone dreaming about me. Yes,…

  • The Verdict Is In.

    Last night, I laid in bed, by myself again. I recall God saying something like “Let the record show…” He was talking about marking Nick’s record with the fact that, given the chance (and impetus) to apologize to me (for making my life utter hell for years), he markedly refused without a second thought. He…

  • True Love

    Thank you, bearded fellow standing at the Meals 2Go line today around dinner time. You smiled just because you saw me, it seemed like, so I am grateful. Thank you. That is a taste of true love, right there. That’s something I need in my life, I’ve decided. Forget all these serious-faced deli men who…

  • When’s Dinner?

    “When I can get up again, silly,” Crystal said, replying to God. She was being admonished ever so slightly for her self-neglect. It was a pattern in her very core, something God couldn’t really program out of her (nor did She wish to, it’s what made her darling child so darling, you see.) “I know…

  • The Mountain Dragon Man (3)

    Hi, my name’s Sansara. I’m a telepath living on a planet in another galaxy. You’d never make it here on fossil fuels, so don’t bother trying. I’ve gone through your brain. I’ve gone through everyone’s brain. I have found you all lacking. You are mean, narcissistic, egocentric, wasteful, and a bunch of other words I’m…

  • His Eyes, Doth They Deceive Him?

    He saw her again, he thought. A brief glimpse of her, anyway. A mass of messy hair — what color was it? Hard to say, it was so brief. It almost looked ash gray to him. Old. A color an old person would have in their hair. How old was she? At the same time,…

  • I Get What I Want

    Diego looked up at Joe while washing his hands. He barely heard Joe’s complaint about how Diego’s return to the delicatessen changed his schedule. He now came in two hours later than he used to, which was definitely not optimal for him. He was still searching for a woman to call his own and most…

  • Telepathy, Take 4

    A song comes on the radio, a particularly sad one. I start crying and blubbering apologies to myself because assholes from my previous life are finally sorry for my near death experience. I guess shit got serious when I ghosted all of them. I hear hypothetical chit-chat in my head all day between some guy…

  • The Key To Happiness

    “Does he like me? What do they think about me? I hate that guy, he always cuts me off when I’m trying to talk!” Do these kinds of thoughts sound familiar? STOP! Right where you are! I don’t care where you are, unless it’s the middle of the street — then keep moving. But the…

  • Narcissism Stands The Test of Time

    I remember the man I fell in love with first rather vividly. I thought I was so lucky. He was handsome and lovely and we did everything together… except now I know that’s quite unhealthy and he was creating codependency in me. His mental illness defeated him. It hurt me and scarred me deeply, too.…

  • Lessons in Love (1)

    A serious dissing song if I ever heard one. This is not an example of love. It’s hate… but it’s so catchy. And it reminds you of every asshole who ever took advantage of you somewhere in the song, doesn’t it? I thought of it because I’m eating cake. And it’s catchy. (Doo bee doooooo.)…

  • Shopping For A Husband

    Accepting reality is where it’s at. You know, I wake up sometimes and God says to me, “Look at that hair! It’s perfect! You don’t even have bed head!” And I say… nothing. Thanks for the compliment, bro. I needed it for a while… after my last run-in with a narcissistic bastard who made me…

  • When It Doesn’t Fit

    I can hear the Deli Man now in my head: “What about me?!” Well, I didn’t forget you, but I don’t know anything else about you. I’d be your #1 fangirl if you let me. For the rest of your life, actually. But, if you don’t want that, tell me already so I can nip…

  • Where Salt Goes, Water Follows

    Is that why tears are salty, she wonders? Why do we cry? What’s the point? After being called Crybaby Crystal about a dozen times, she vowed to give up crying. To toughen up. To keep the bullies from bullying her. It worked, but at what cost? My tender angel died for the first time in…

  • I’m Asking Too Much

    I am asking too much, as it turns out. It helps me weed out the boys from the men, truth be told. I want… need… to be married. One time. One person. If they cheat on me, I will not have the will left to carry on. I will be dead. This is the last…

  • “A Day In The Life Of”

    I wake up alone. I’ve tossed and turned all night, rolling around with discomfort. My bladder reminds me that it needs to be emptied, but I lie there, semi-comfortable at last. I cling to the vestiges of sleep, wishing it could last forever. I look at the clock, remembering it’s set an hour ahead somehow…

  • I’m Sick

    Something catastrophic has happened to my person. It’s really difficult to explain without telling all the details, so perhaps I just need to write a book describing it. I feel like there are many lessons being learned and if all of humanity could learn them with me, we might be blessed with peace and prosperity…

  • Bugs In My Hair

    There are still gnats buzzing all around me. How very annoying. -_-* I’m afraid my ancient ones are about to die. They look old. Worn out. They already act dead, pushing all the chores to ensure living takes place onto me. Cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, laundry. But they won’t just give me the deed to…

  • Invisible Monsters

    He keeps taking away from her. One layer at a time, peeling her back like an onion or ripping a petal off the rose with each challenge. He wants her to expose her true nature: a devil dressed like an angel. That’s his perception of her and he will not change his mind, no matter…

  • Striving For Change

    She found herself howling in fury at the attackers in her head. It was 1:00 AM when she lost her cool for the final time. She’d been entertaining asshole narcissists for at least a year now. A nonstop barrage of bullshit. Lies, excuses, and so much more. She turned her face to the heavens and…

  • Connection/Art

    I took a workshop today via Udemy called Connect with Colour – Using Art as a Way of Knowing. It’s about 30 minutes long. It’s one of the better freebies I’ve found on Udemy. I made a digital image full of hearts. ❤ It made me feel kind of fuzzy and good inside. It made…

  • The Universe(TM) is my BFF

    If you hadn’t noticed, I love adding the trademark indicator to stupid common phrases. I think it’s funny. I hope you do, too. I have this notion that a world of pain is coming my way. Emotional pain. I’m still sort of connected to the most vile bastard I’ve ever met in the back of…

  • Enlightenment Hurts

    Grab a packet of Post-Its, a pen, and a mirror. For 30 seconds, write down every thought you have about yourself (without overthinking it) as you look into the mirror. Assess these things and then put them aside. Later that day, look at each Post-It and rate it on a scale of 1-10 for how…

  • Spirituality

    Spiritualism: Spiritualism is a movement based on the belief that the spirits of the dead exist and have the ability and the necessary means to communicate with the living. The afterlife, or the “spirit world”, is seen by spiritualists, not as a static place, but as one in which spirits continue to evolve. Wikipedia Is spiritualism…

  • A Strange Dream

    I woke up today to a strange dream. I’d gone to the grocery store – Wegmans, I think – and was trying to check out via self-checkout (which I rarely use.) For some reason, all the things in my cart were already in bags and all the bag handles were tied in knots, so I…

  • A Day In The Life Of

    Sansara awoke many times throughout the day. She’d fallen asleep when she full well meant to stay awake. That was happening a lot these days. She was fighting cancer, after all, and it was taking its toll on her body. It was shortly after dawn that the vixen had nodded off. She’d been doing yoga…

  • My Worth, Take Three

    What God really wants you to know, children of Eden, is that you’re unworthy of life at this time. You are failing to live with your surroundings, you are failing to tend to the garden. You are failing to thrive alongside the animals that feed you, the plants that feed you. You’ve tamed everything in…

  • Case Study: Past Lives

    (Published with permission.) Case Study Number: 1Date: 6/28/2022Prior Hypnosis Experience of Client: NeverRapport Level Between Yourself & Client: AcquaintancesHypnotic Method Used: KEW Sample Video for past life regressionInduction Method Used: KEW Sample Video for past life regressionChildhood Memories or Womb Explored? No.Significant Scenes Explored in the Past Life: None, went straight to death scene.Death Scene:…

  • Dear Demetrius,

    It seems I have known you longer than I expected. I thought I’d never seen you before that September day. I never looked at anything but food most shopping trips. Fortunately, I had a friend helping me out psychically. God, I do suppose. She said, “Hey, stand right here and look at these sandwiches.” I…

  • Diego, Diego, Diego

    What a narcissistic punk, don’t you think? It’s always about Diego. The emotions and practices of Crystal meant nothing much to him. Only his emotions about the facts. If he felt something was terrible, he’d tell her outright, even though she already knew it and decided to be the grown-up and just deal with shit.…

  • I still have feelings!

    Diego, Diego, Diego. How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t care. I told you to choose a woman and get it over with. Oh, but that’s not what you meant! The girl you accidentally raped (and then tried to cuddle better) in college suicided and you’re at fault! You still have…

  • He’ll Never Love *You*

    Have you heard that one before, ladies? I bet you have. Some man who won’t even give you time of day, but somehow his physicality has you wrapped around his pinkie, right? Stop looking at them. That’s my solution for you. Simply stop giving them any attention whatsoever, like they are the scum of the…

  • Where is my honey bunny?

    I buried her under the rubble of my own issues. My misery. I just threw it on top of her, expecting her to get out of the way in time. She doesn’t work like that. She’s shoveling the shit to get to the heart of things. What is wrong with me? That’s a great question.…

  • In the Doghouse

    (That was fast.) Crystal’s mad at me again. Her anger comes out in mockery and ridicule. It comes out as dubiousness and even more mockery. It’s not even ill-tempered mockery. She only does this when she’s angry, that’s all. It’s a danger sign. I’m on thin ice. She’ll gut me any time with one well-placed…

  • Therapy

    Camila was pretty happy these days, she had to admit. Dr. Jill was teaching her a new way of looking at everything. A way where she could see gaps that could be filled or parts that could be tweaked so that Camila could truly be happy. Even Manny was changing, she’d found, and she thought…

  • New Perspective on Daryas

    Jeez, I dunno where to begin with this shit show. Don’t you think he did Crystal dirty? He did it on purpose, too. He failed to tell her he was in an open relationship for more than five months before they met. He omitted the fact he slept beside a woman every day and then…

  • Hot As Hell [NSFW]

    She sat there, sweating even though she hadn’t moved in over an hour. Fans blew air around her apartment languidly. The heat was unshakable. Her back still ached, despite all her muscle knots releasing thanks to the humid air surrounding her. She sighed, telling herself winter was only six months away. That’s all. She stretched…

  • The Legend of Daryas III

    (cont’d from previous entry) Rape culture is so pervasive, it’s hard to get away from it until the entirety of it is explained to you. Our global society is oversaturated in it at this point. Photograph manipulation to remove flaws (magazine covers, photos online, Angelina Jolie’s tits in Tomb Raider, pockets where men shouldn’t be…

  • Play That Funky Music, White Girl

    I’m nuts and so is everyone else, I’ve decided. I’ve been hearing things inside my head, telling me what’s happening in situations where I have zero knowledge of the situation. For instance, I don’t actually know if Anthony cheated on me. Not until we separated, anyway, and then he was only cheating because he thought…

  • It’s Always Ben, Ben, Ben!

    That probably takes you back to the Brady Bunch, if you’re on our wavelength. That’s exactly what he grew up with, too, except his mother is a rape victim who felt voiceless and went a bit crazy thanks to that and now everyone thinks she’s awful for having no internal dialogue. In fact, I think…

  • Manny & Camila [NSFW]

    Crystal didn’t expect Manny and Camila to be a happily ever after duo. She would have rooted for them every day in every way to try to prevent it, but she still had the feeling Camila was more deeply in love with Diego than she herself even realized. Sansara, Crystal’s twin spirit, was a mind-reader.…

  • Dear Crystal,

    I miss you every day we’re apart. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss your crazy creations you adapt to your special diet. I miss your cats. I miss seeing you in the same room as me, walking past me in the hall, even flushing the toilet in the middle of the night.…

  • Chivalry [NSFW]

    Diego was both elated and confused by his latest wet dream. He’d had enough torture, he thought. He didn’t think he could keep his paws off the lady anymore… not after that kind of dream. That was going to be spank bank material for the rest of his life. He wanted to march into her…

  • Ruined Afterglow [NSFW]

    She was mad at him, he could just tell. They just had sex for the very first time and she was angry. He tried to figure out what he did wrong. He wanted to smack himself in the forehead. They’d been discussing wedding dresses and he’d asserted he wanted her in white and the moment…

  • Howdy, Neighbor [NSFW]

    Diego was reading The Witches of Karres in his room that fateful evening. He was finding it an interesting read, if full of plot holes. He set the book down. It was getting late and he’d been yearning for release all day. Wisdom suggested that Sansara had gone to bed already and his lights were…

  • Diego’s Impression

    Crystal sat down at her computer, opening a new file to write her thoughts out about Diego. She was notorious for making snapshot first impressions that lasted for years without update in her brain. #Autism. Her first impression of Diego might make him wince, though she was never going to share it with him. He…

  • Sansara’s Surprise

    Sansara was a convert. She and Crystal went through the Tai Chi warm ups again. She recalled Crystal chuckling at her the first time, ridiculing her for not thinking about how Asian culture was far more advanced than the West was. They’d had thousands of years to figure out exactly how the human body works…

  • Rejecting Sir Deli Man

    Sir Deli Man had never been rejected before in his life. He guffawed at Sansara as she told him so. All because he insisted on keeping Janice as a friendly acquaintance, full well knowing the woman had designs for him. Crystal was not asking for much: she was asking for loyalty. Fealty might be a…

  • I Hate Cheaters

    I can’t think of a time where I found myself a loyal man, sadly. It’s my fault, I think, for pursuing them instead of forcing them to pursue me. But that is rape culture bullshit, and if you buy that, I’ll sell you another one. A person can choose to commit. I don’t sleep with…

  • Learning How To Be A Girl

    Crystal wanted to be a boy, but not sexually speaking. Once Pam came into her life and showed her what being a girl was about, she ran the other way. She heard echoes of Pam and the torture she’d felt with her sister in faux friends that she made over the years. Each “friend” backstabbing…

  • What a Jick

    “Sansara, I can’t take it anymore. Stop telling me what the boy is thinking. It’s not about me or even anything fun… it’s about Janice,” Crystal said, tears welling up in her eyes and spilling over onto her cheeks. “Sorry, sweetie. I know it’s tough. Men are like that. They see big floppy tits and…

  • Fighting the War

    Sansara looked at herself, worried. She checked her health markers in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her teeth were yellow. Her hair was a mess. Her skin was dull and scaly on her forehead. Her nails were brittle and broke easily. Her waist line was increasing. Her back ached and her feet hurt. Crystal,…

  • Today’s Therapy: KnowInk [NSFW]

    TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE KnowInk was probably the worst work place she’d ever known, she thought. She was teleconferencing with her therapist, again, talking about how someone who worked there had committed suicide. Crystal was convinced that KnowInk had a hand in that happening, but she didn’t have concrete evidence of it being a direct cause.…

  • She Withdraws [NSFW]

    TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE Sansara was embarrassed with herself. She couldn’t believe her lack of self-control regarding Diego. She hoped to Hell that he couldn’t hear her from the couch. She was trying to be quiet but she definitively failed. She knew he was flirting with her, but she didn’t feel like repeating the Ben experience.…

  • Daniel’s Confession

    I stole my bride away from another man. A man who is mostly suitable, but not quite. He has malice in his heart for my beloved. He wants her to hurt because she hurt him once upon a time. She hurt him and he said nothing. She assumed she meant nothing to him because of…

  • How to Hurt a Telepath

    Jerome is being adamant that I am a telepath again. I don’t agree with him one bit. If I knew how to read minds, I would never miss out on groceries at the store. I’d always know exactly what I should buy to replenish the coffers. I would know what my ancient ones want to…

  • Thought Swimming

    [Profanity Warning] I saw a man with Down Syndrome (presumably) at the supermarket the other day. He gave me the most brilliant happy smile. I couldn’t help but smile back! I stepped outside of my comfort zone, too. I said, “Hi” as I passed him in the deli. He was wearing a sunshine yellow shirt…

  • I Feel Like a Narcissist

    [Profanity warning] Le sigh. Probably every few months or so, I get around to thinking I’m a narcissist. I’m not sure why I go in circles on this topic. I was convinced of it when I dated my psycho ex, actually… I consider it to be possible with my strange duality, but the truth of…

  • Going Silent as a Shaman

    “Silence can make us uncomfortable because we’re so used to distracting ourselves from what we’re feeling—from difficult emotions like fear, resentment or anger,” says Stephanie Ludwig, PhD, MA, MDiv, Director of Spiritual Wellness at Canyon Ranch Tucson. “When we’re truly and intentionally silent, we have to face whatever is inside of us.” Instead, we keep…

  • Confessions of a Goth Girl

    Hi. My name is Crystal and I’m a Goth. What does Goth mean? There are many interpretations, though denotatively speaking, it’s an architectural era. Many use it to refer to having an affinity for the Victorian social period in England. I use it to imply I love all things black and silver. Basically. When I…

  • How To Handle Bullies

    “Funny how we make serious faces and act bold when we bleed so much. We bleed and we can’t hide.” – (unknown) Your emotions are valid. Your voice matters. You do not deserve oppression. Your feelings matter! Your thoughts matter!

  • New Concept: Open Therapy

    Open therapy: discussing one’s life openly with the public to look for feedback, potentially compassion, and definitely new perspectives regarding the experiences in one’s life that have happened, are actively happening, or potentially may happen. I’ve got this nagging inner voice that is very masculine in nature and definitely not me that just won’t quit…

  • Crystal’s Dark Comedy #1

    He’s not jail cute. I have to stay in my lane and put my eyes back on the food. I ran over a phantom dog. Scooby Doo taught me more about life than school ever will.

  • Randomosity

    [George Michael — Faith] You guys… I can’t find my broom. I think the fairies stole it. I say that whenever I can’t find something that should be in plain sight. It’s just… gone. Like it never fucking existed. It’s like my brain gaslighting me. I don’t like being gaslit, y’all. Especially by my bio-dad.…

  • What Gets My Goat

    It really pisses me off when my bio-father tries to tell me how my cats work after I’ve lived with them for 17 fucking years. He’s lived with them for five months. And beyond that, I just let them make up their own narcissistic (narc) narratives to suit themselves when really Bansidhe is good at…

  • Wile E. Coyote

    [Coyote Kisses — Acid Wolfpack (original mix)] Mr. Coyote is possibly one of my all-time favorite Looney Tunes characters. First of all, he never complains and he never gives up. No matter how many times he fails or how many times he makes the same mistake, he never gives up! My hero. ❤ [Crazy Frog…

  • Sir Deli Man, Marry Me!

    I know I’ve never spoken to this man before, but the Gods have definitely introduced me to his subconscious mind. He’s amazing. If it’s not obvious, he works in a fucking deli. Hence, his title, Sir Deli Man. I’ve named him Jax because one short word is more efficient than one long title, but I…

  • The Mountain Dragon Man

    Come one, come all! Welcome to the Solsinger tribe, a one-woman circus. Watch us contort to your heart’s content. We’re entertaining, we hope. We also hope you’ll throw a few coins our way. We have a Patreon account. Sansara Solsinger is the name and we’re pleased to make your acquaintance! Today, you will meet Ymetsu,…

  • A Fever Dream — Igloo for Sansara

    I had a dream this morning about being shown around a property. It was in St. Louis and in a very popular spot. The peculiar thing was that it appeared to be an igloo. It was a spacious igloo, I’ll give it that. It seemed to be made of that plastic-resin type material that you…

  • A Man-Shaped Man

    I’m in love with a man I’ve never met. You might think, ‘Well, that’s how the internet can work out.’ I have never spoken to this young man directly, unfortunately. I say young, but he’s not that young. A real youth might call him old, really. He’s perfect, is what he is. I must first…