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My Primordial Stench
I am marinating in my mild body odor, sitting here while I contemplate all that is, was, and ever will be. I’m not yet offensive in my own eyes, so it’s neither here nor there that I haven’t taken a shower yet. It’s 2:45 in the afternoon and I know I must wash myself and…
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Dear Grocery Girl,
It’s only been three days since we’ve made eye contact, but I miss you. I know I’ve never said hello or even told you my name, but I want to resolve that. I want to sweep you off your feet and make you my wife forever and ever, really, but I understand there are a…
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She Wants Pie
How many of you can drive or walk to the grocery store and pick up a pizza pie, go home, bake it, and consume it? Pizza is her death knell. Not only is it full of nightshades (paprika & tomato — especially pepperoni pie), it’s full of something else that she’s been allergic to since…
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Death to the Dragon Man
Her epic performance was met with… silence. This woman made a five minute marriage proposal video (seven, actually, but who’s counting?) He didn’t talk to her for eons. So, she decided to enter the dragon’s cave, uninvited. She sent her spirit walking across the ocean to the United Kingdom, to his very door step. His…
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Saving a Life
You’d think she’d run out of things to say, except they’re not her. They’re God’s things to say. I have so many. It’s really difficult to determine where to begin, honestly, because my disappointments only begin with her death. P.S.: JULIE. WE LOVE YOU!!!!! You’re the angel of mercy. Never stop being you. ❤ ❤…
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Got Sanity? I’m Buying.
Every day is a new set of lies. Do normal people live with this shit? I hope not. It makes life stupid amounts of confusing. If your life stopped making sense, chances are you’re surrounded by lying sacks of shit. I’m sorry. You’d think understanding that being a human being is to be flawed inherently,…
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I Am The Mountain
‘I am the mountain,’ she said to her friend Belialtrix. He was taken aback. How could she be the mountain while she chases the Mountain Dragon Man? ‘Are you sure I am the mountain you are looking for?’ Belialtrix suggested. Surreal, we know. How can both be the mountain? How can anyone be a mountain?…