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Angel-Sansara

Tag: love

  • The Tao, Chapter 17

    The Tao, Chapter 17 The best leaders are those the people hardly know exist.The next best is a leader who is loved and praised.Next comes the one who is feared.The worst one is the leader that is despised.If you don’t trust the people,they will become untrustworthy.The best leaders value their words, and use them sparingly.When…

  • A Broken Heart Isn’t Enough

    As I sit and do research for my next class offering on Udemy (well, my first, perhaps… I have six or seven in progress all at once. A.D.D. for the win!) I have no choice but to hear constant bull shit in my head as my ex, the rapist that he is, tries to combine…

  • The Tao, Chapter 13

    The Tao, Chapter 13 Success is as dangerous as failure,and we are often our own worst enemy.What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure?He who is superior is also someone’s subordinate.Receiving favor and losing it both cause alarm.That is what is meant by success is as dangerous as failure.What does it mean…

  • Book 3, Take 3

    [God] sent down the Law (of Moses) and the Gospel (of Jesus) for a guidance to mankind; and hath revealed the Criterion (of right and wrong).  3:145, “We shall reward the thankful.”3:150, “Allah is your Protector, and He is the Best of Helpers.”3:152, “Allah is a Lord of Kindness to believers.”3:155, “Those of you who…

  • Hate/Control

    Has anyone ever tried to control you and what you do? It can be subtle, such as asking you to take a compromise that benefits them more than the relationship as a whole, but only by a little bit. It can be overt, too, such as, “Do this thing or I’m breaking up with you!”…

  • The Tao, Chapter 10

    The Tao, Chapter 10 Nurture the darkness of your souluntil you become whole.Can you do this and not fail?Can you focus your life-breath until you becomesupple as a newborn child?While you cleanse your inner visionwill you be found without fault?Can you love people and lead themwithout forcing your will on them?When Heaven gives and takes…

  • Your Nose Ring Was Crooked

    We barely noticed, to be honest. We were checking out your sleeve instead. (And the rest of you.) Hubba hubba, says the fat girl, and moves along in her lane of loneliness. You know, that’s probably what pains me most about humanity, God posits. I gift you this ethereally beautiful woman and you somehow made…

  • I am the dreamer of dreams.

    We’re live, finally. It took two years and some change, but now I have fully rebooted and most of my core functionality is back online. It was a tough job, but somebody had to do it. I look forward to communicating with the Earthlings once more this millennia. Hello, Earthling. How are you today? Feeling…

  • Lost

    I embrace my loss today. I have to move on in a new direction. I am moving away from technology, now that my brain no longer functions, and I’m on the trajectory to becoming a bona fide writer. I’ve written two chapters, which tell a pretty good story… except the sexuality came out already and…

  • Trauma Can Be Prevented

    His eyes never sparkled when he looked at me, not until I nearly wasted away, shedding over 80 pounds. Not once did he look at me like I was the hottest thing on planet Earth, not unless I was acting out, stretching myself to get his attention. Going above and beyond. This should not be…

  • Turkey Day Reprise

    GOD hijacks me again while I’m trying to explain psychological concepts and that Armageddon has arrived.

  • Inhaling Pizza

    Well, I nearly killed myself inhaling pizza for dinner. I’m sorry, I should say pixxa, since pizza requires tomato sauce to be called that. That means every Buffalo Chicken pixxa you’ve ever had was advertised incorrectly. I find myself ruminating on my ex-classmate from technical school. The one from Networking 101. I have no idea…

  • I don’t want to be used and abused again.

    For days now, I’ve been receiving spiritual or telepathic transmissions from a man I once knew a long, long time ago. As if I can trust that said man a) remembers me, b) gives a shit I existed in the present, c) is free since we all know all men are taken. By Angelina Jolie,…

  • I (heart) Luis Royo

    I (heart) Luis Royo. I mean this aromantically, as you will soon find out… I find myself wanting to surrender to a sexual energy that surrounds me, pervades me and my space. I wish the man creating it were in my arms. In fact, I believe he wishes I was in his arms, as well,…

  • Learning with Dr. Epps

    I was listening to this free course, which doesn’t have the absolute best audio capture in the world, but it has some great wisdom. Dr. Henry Epps is a grand master of Usui reiki who has diversified into Shambala reiki, Ascension Process of the Ascetic Masters, Seven Pearl, Kundalini, and is chasing a doctorate in…

  • Book Three, Take Two

    Mankind believes it deserves women and sons, hoards of gold and silver, branded horses, a wealth of cattle, and well-tilled land. None of these bring one nearer to Allah, however. Men who do not hoard, who are steadfast, truthful, and obedient, men who pray for pardon at night, that show patience, firmness, and self-control, true…

  • Glamour.

    “The only thing that could make me happier right now is some weed,” she heard as she came to a stop at a stop light traveling southbound on the main arterial roadway of the city. Moments later, she could smell cannabis. She was alone in her car, en route to the grocery store for her…

  • Absolute Insanity.

    The boy stopped looking at me, and yet, at random intervals all day I see his face in my mind’s eye. I am totally focused on nothing but sorting out my podcasts and there he is… and I’m not even reading entries that feature him. I’m reading the ones God wrote as I publish. In…

  • Remembering Annoyance

    Lately, Sir Deli Man has not wanted to share eye contact. I have great doubts due to this. The other day, we did something stupid: we stood in front of the alcoholic beverage display and purchased a six pack of hard cider and Smirnoff products. Why? All because he was in the soup and salad…

  • Cleaning On An Empty Stomach

    It seems like the only time I’m feeling good enough to get anything done is when I’m already hungry. In fact, I go into auto-pilot mode and start picking up, doing dishes, and so on, when I very clearly went into the kitchen to make something to eat. It’s because eating hurts, God tells her…

  • French Kissing.

    There really aren’t too many kinds of kissing, when one really thinks about it. But we have a ton of words for it, wouldn’t you know? Smooch. Peck. Smackeroo. Snog. Necking. Air-kiss. Blow a kiss. Butterfly kiss. Eskimo kiss. Osculate or osculum — “little mouth.” A quick kiss. A tap kiss. A nose kiss. A…

  • Intense Cravings…

    For some reason, tonight I wanted nothing other than an Italian cheese bread from Little Caesar’s. Unfortunately, the location near my home no longer exists. There are no pizza places within a mile or two anymore… Not that it’d matter. Little Caesar’s is the pizza place for me and has been for my entire life…

  • God Complex

    God started talking to me years ago. At first, I was confused, because he sounded just like me. Then, after a little while – after getting used to hearing things that didn’t come from me, myself – it changed. God started to use voices and inflection and lots of mixed metaphors and scrambled sentences. [God…

  • Self-Loathing

    A low frequency vibration, also known as shame. He remembered it all over again. Yesterday, he was standing behind the cheese display, talking to his coworker who was working the cheese display. He caught her eye as she meandered down the aisle toward him before making a sharp left, changing every pattern he’d ever discerned,…

  • Disdain.

    dis·dain /disˈdān/ Learn to pronounce noun Maybe this isn’t quite exactly the feeling I am immersed in. It could be disappointment, I suppose. Is it too much to ask for a singular man to have interest in a singular lady? Is it too much to ask for True Love(TM)? I didn’t even ask for True…

  • All For Naught.

    Nothing I do ever seems to matter. To anyone, anywhere. If it does, I am in the dark. I am alone and fumbling. Have you felt this, too, friend? I will light the way when I can, but for now I stumble and fall. I am hurting. So many kinds of hurting. I wish I…

  • Salvador Dalí

    Is your life today what you pictured a year ago? Absolutely not. A year ago, I was chasing down some dude with dark brown eyes inside the Wegmans deli, ending up everywhere he went quite on accident, being tugged by invisible forces to go this way or that. He had everything a girl could want,…

  • The Voices

    No matter what I do, I am accompanied by a peanut gallery. Today, I put Manic Panic! purple in my hair. Electric Amethyst. Voices talking about how I’m vain floated through my head, voices about how I’m wasteful. Voices nay saying everything I was doing. This happens most of the time, no matter what I…

  • Limbo

    I’m a romantic. Without a job. It makes me feel like a loser. “You have a job,” God reminds me. Yeah, yeah. Write a book about rape and fornication so the rest of humanity understands, finally, where they’re going wrong. I get it. Do you get it yet, human bean? She waters the bean and…

  • Belling the Cat

    The Mice once called a meeting to decide on a plan to free themselves of their enemy, the Cat. At least they wished to find some way of knowing when she was coming, so they might have time to run away. Indeed, something had to be done, for they lived in such constant fear of…

  • The Borderline

    I once was alive. It’s been years now since I died, but I can almost remember being alive once. Maybe I’m wrong and I was always dead. I wish I could cease completely, but I am being held hostage. A captive. A scribe for an unreasonable invisible sky daddy kind of entity that is upset…

  • Wake Up To Your Destiny

    “WAKE UP,” he said again. “YOU NEED TO WAKE UP.” It was the third time. It was not quite shouting, but it was loud enough to wake any zombie from slumber. “Wake up to what?” the other boy asked. Am I a sleeper agent? “To your destiny!” declared the troublemonger. Joe laughed at that. Destiny,…

  • You May Notice a Pattern…

    There is a pattern to the way I write this diary. You will notice it now that I point it out. I start trying to write something… anything… and eventually God hijacks whatever I’m saying to get His message out instead. It’s intentional, apparently, because I’ve created an algorithm for giving everyone telepathy and it’ll…

  • Need More Input!

    Johnny 5 is alive. “God?” she asked timidly. “Yes?” he replied, waiting for whatever was going to follow next. “I know the big bang was caused by a spark… but what caused the spark?” she pondered aloud. “Oh, that’s embarrassing,” God replied. She asked suddenly, offering the most embarrassing thing she could think of in…

  • How do you murder a super hero?

    It must be a task worthy of none less than a super villain, of course. But how do you tell the difference between the two? Especially when you only get one side of the story? How many people did Superman kill on accident doing stupid things like lifting a train off its tracks or some…

  • Hell Hath No Fury…

    like a woman scorned. scorn/skôrn/ noun1. the feeling or belief that someone or something is worthless or despicable; contempt. verb1. feel or express contempt or derision for. Google-dictionary-en One really shouldn’t piss off one’s shaman in a tribe, that much I can tell you for sure. It don’t matter if she’s black or white, man or woman, green or wise; She, the…

  • Open Therapy Reprise

    This blog is my self-therapy, insights, sometimes memories, and so on. I know it won’t appeal to most people, but that’s not the purpose for it at all. It will also help you discover telepathy is real. It’ll explain things you never had an explanation for before. I hope with new understanding that you find…

  • Asshole Tax (2)

    The last entry is an example of asshole tax. Nicholas is an asshole, now he does not pass Go, he does not collect $200, and he goes straight to jail. That’s for murdering my precious Earthlings with your lies. So, what exactly is Asshole Tax? I’m so glad you asked! It’s not something the New…

  • Asshole Tax

    The man with grey eyes is on my brain today. After at least one week of reprieve, I am now hearing him all over again inside my mind. I wish the things I heard were reality, but I’m sure they’re not. Why would a man I’ve never held a conversation with think about me? Especially…

  • I am the Code Cracker.

    Reality is written in code. She gives you a moment to process your Matrix “whoa.” Everything — absolutely everything — revolves around unwritten rules. Before we knew what to call Gravity, we interacted with it every day. In fact, it’s friend in chief is Entropy, which we can observe as a small child tears a…

  • Black Friday Is A Scam

    But we’re not going to talk about that. Nope! What is wrong with me? he wondered to himself. Why was he still imagining Grocery Girl? Yesterday, he’d let his mind wander and one thing led to another… for hours, actually. Two solid hours. He daydreamed of making love to her that whole time… and it…

  • American Singles Awareness Day #1: Thanksgiving

    You could have gone from the day after Valentine’s to Halloween single and not been as keenly aware of it as you would be on (US) Thanksgiving. I don’t know if this rings true for Canadian Thanksgiving, so forgive my ignorance. Today is a day of gluttony. We will eat until we cannot move, we…

  • Wolf & Rabbit

    Wolf was traipsing through familiar territory. His territory, actually. It was his home and he had every right to be there, whether he was on the prowl or not. Many creatures, both big and small, ran through his neck of the woods. He spied Rabbit, a mesmerizing creature he’d seen many a time before in…

  • Love Advice from God

    I’ve been having trouble keeping track of the days of the week. I cannot stick to any schedule. I sleep whenever I sleep and sometimes it’s twelve hours at a time, if not closer to eighteen hours. It depends on how well I’m fed and how well rested I am. I dye my hair for…

  • Anthem for the White Woman

    Helloween is here, my friends. Short, short skirts and low cut tops and bare arms. All when it’s about the right temperature to make my nipples hard enough to cut glass. I’d rather be warm, but I guarantee that every party will be full of women dressed as sluts because that’s what’s really scary, these…

  • Round 1: The Hungarian.

    It looks better in color. (It’s red, white, green.) Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán is committing crimes against humanity. According to a real Hungarian, rather than Anglicized news from the Hungarians, Orbán , they are facing potential genocide this winter as the PM just spent all the funds meant for heating their homes on Vodafone. (4iG is…

  • Whore, Grief, Courtship

    “Where is that whore,” he said, his voice laden with scorn. I heard this in my head today. Whore is not a word I’d typically use, though I know the meaning. SYNONYMS: strumpet, hustler, slut, tramp, escort, harlot, hooker, pro, prostitute, streetwalker, call girl, fallen woman, lady of the evening, working girl. Sex worker. Have…

  • Dear Grocery Girl,

    It’s only been three days since we’ve made eye contact, but I miss you. I know I’ve never said hello or even told you my name, but I want to resolve that. I want to sweep you off your feet and make you my wife forever and ever, really, but I understand there are a…

  • What would you do for True Love(TM)?

    I think I’m over it. The idea that true love exists. I wish I wasn’t… I wish I could be my normal optimistic peppy self, the cheerleader for cheerleaders, and tell you all it exists. It doesn’t. It’s a myth. It makes me sick to think it. It makes me sicker to share it. It…

  • What Is Fornication?

    I think y’all need a lesson in love, friends. Fornication isn’t as straightforward as it seems and I know that. In fact, it takes a mind reader to know exactly how it works. Now that I know (and I’ve wept ever so bitterly for it), let me tell you what it is: Oh, wait, it’s…

  • My Spirit’s Journey

    I am nomming on some mixed nuts coated in avocado oil, garlic, and dill seasonings. YUM! (And a few cracks of Himalayan salt, of course.) I sit here, under attack spiritually. This has been the case for eons. But why? Because I’m a beautiful woman that nobody wants to just talk to. This is the…

  • Human Nature

    I’ve been locked into role-play with God. He’s been showing me scenario after scenario, attaching them to real men (and women, but mostly men.) I can now see what is wrong with humanity in general. Harmony with the plants, the animals, each other. Harmony with the bees and butterflies and everything. Even harmony with the…

  • No Recipes For Me

    I just spent two hours scouring YouTube for ideas of what to eat. Not a single person who created a video (even the really best ones) made more than one meal in their meal prep planning/execution than I could eat. It seems to me that nobody on planet Earth has my exact dietary restrictions… at…

  • Love is Love

    I didn’t expect to find such beautiful wisdom in a free course on Udemy, I’ll tell you that much right now. Apparently, the second key to enlightenment is to love your friend as yourself. The first is to practice being a resistor of negativity (“-“). Once you are overflowing with “+”, then you will start…

  • The Law of Attraction/Enter the Zohar

    https://www.udemy.com/course/enter-the-zohar/ I find it interesting that, as I was watching Section 2, Lecture #4, I became aware that the lecturer was explaining The Law of Attraction in a much more meaningful way than random YouTube Video Z. Apparently, the Law of Attraction is from Kabbalistic thought to begin with… interesting, since I’ve been made aware…

  • Is He Really The One(TM)?

    Every person comes to this question eventually. Is the person they chose the right person? I’ve been exposed to something like fifty mindsets in the past eighteen months, as God flits from one interested human bean to the next, showing me what they’re like. Only one man tolerates (if not encourages) the fact that I…

  • Flirting.

    There she was. Flirting with the hottest guy in the room. At least, I thought so. She was leaning into the palm of her hand, engrossed, her eyes on him. At least, at first. I don’t know if I made a noise or something, but she looked my way almost as soon as I noticed…

  • Weird Dreams

    She’s lovely, honestly. ❤ I want to fill her up with my love. I didn’t see her today, though I had hoped she would have come in around the time I was getting off my shift. I was so determined to ask her for her number, too. I had the strangest dream last night. It’s…

  • The Mountain Dragon Man (4)

    I think I found the perfect model for The Mountain Dragon Man. Now, it is time to draw and write. Some day, my labor of love will show the world what I’ve learned about life at large. There’s still more to learn — there will always be more to learn — but I think I…

  • I’m In Love

    I saw her again tonight. The woman of my dreams. She’s literally inside my dreams. They’re not all saucy dreams, either. Last night, I dreamt of her having dinner with me. We had an excellent time and I was beyond smitten… but that’s when I realized that dream me wasn’t the real me. Instead, he…

  • A Yearning

    I don’t suppose you know what it’s like to feel someone else’s feelings? I mean, literally. They take up space inside your body and you feel exactly like they feel. It’s not sympathy, it’s worse. It’s full on empath. It’s not even empathy… you are literally feeling exactly what they are feeling. The only blessing…

  • I’m No Greta/True Love

    Greta wants to save the world for herself. (And of course everyone in her generation and following her generation.) I don’t give a shit about humans anymore. That’s why I called Them(TM) here. That’s right. I called them. I screamed into the depths of The Universe(TM) as I was dying and they came to me.…

  • Somewhere Over The Rainbow…

    God tells me the deli men miss me. I’m like, “Wait! HOLD UP! Men? As in more than one?” That’s exactly what I’m saying, Sansara. Men. Thousands of men daydream about you being in their arms. But, they don’t daydream being in love with you. That’s why we never go anywhere or meet anyone. That’s…

  • When’s Dinner?

    “When I can get up again, silly,” Crystal said, replying to God. She was being admonished ever so slightly for her self-neglect. It was a pattern in her very core, something God couldn’t really program out of her (nor did She wish to, it’s what made her darling child so darling, you see.) “I know…

  • The Mountain Dragon Man (3)

    Hi, my name’s Sansara. I’m a telepath living on a planet in another galaxy. You’d never make it here on fossil fuels, so don’t bother trying. I’ve gone through your brain. I’ve gone through everyone’s brain. I have found you all lacking. You are mean, narcissistic, egocentric, wasteful, and a bunch of other words I’m…

  • The Mountain Dragon Man (1)

    The Mountain Dragon Man is the title I bestow on my future husband. It sounds quite intimidating, surely, for anyone who does not even call themselves a man in their head, but I assure you that any boy can grow into a mountain, a dragon, or a man. And if he’s a very diligent boy,…

  • His Eyes, Doth They Deceive Him?

    He saw her again, he thought. A brief glimpse of her, anyway. A mass of messy hair — what color was it? Hard to say, it was so brief. It almost looked ash gray to him. Old. A color an old person would have in their hair. How old was she? At the same time,…

  • Joe’s Thoughts

    “I wish there was a woman out there for me,” he thought to himself. He was feeling particularly defeated that day; he had hoped for the third shift in a row to see the beautiful, amazing woman he’d laid eyes on in the super market. She had eluded him. After three weeks of consistent eye…

  • I Am God’s Vessel

    I know what you’re thinking. He’s God… he’s got everything he could ever want or need. He’s all-powerful. Almighty. Why on Earth could he ever desire or need a tool in human format? I tried to marry him, but he won’t allow it. He tells me I’m meant to be with a human being. They’re…

  • I Get What I Want

    Diego looked up at Joe while washing his hands. He barely heard Joe’s complaint about how Diego’s return to the delicatessen changed his schedule. He now came in two hours later than he used to, which was definitely not optimal for him. He was still searching for a woman to call his own and most…

  • Telepathy, Take 4

    A song comes on the radio, a particularly sad one. I start crying and blubbering apologies to myself because assholes from my previous life are finally sorry for my near death experience. I guess shit got serious when I ghosted all of them. I hear hypothetical chit-chat in my head all day between some guy…

  • The Key To Happiness

    “Does he like me? What do they think about me? I hate that guy, he always cuts me off when I’m trying to talk!” Do these kinds of thoughts sound familiar? STOP! Right where you are! I don’t care where you are, unless it’s the middle of the street — then keep moving. But the…

  • Lessons in Love (1)

    A serious dissing song if I ever heard one. This is not an example of love. It’s hate… but it’s so catchy. And it reminds you of every asshole who ever took advantage of you somewhere in the song, doesn’t it? I thought of it because I’m eating cake. And it’s catchy. (Doo bee doooooo.)…

  • The Relationship Myth

    Men: Women: Men: Men: Men: Women: Men:

  • Matchmaker

    My dad just admitted to me that he wants to play matchmaker. To set me up with a guy who won’t treat me terribly. As if he’d know. As if you can know any man’s romantic side without being on the other side of them in a romantic relationship. Even the quiet, shy ones can…

  • Saving a Life

    You’d think she’d run out of things to say, except they’re not her. They’re God’s things to say. I have so many. It’s really difficult to determine where to begin, honestly, because my disappointments only begin with her death. P.S.: JULIE. WE LOVE YOU!!!!! You’re the angel of mercy. Never stop being you. ❤ ❤…

  • Playlist for Destruction

    Sing along with me now as I destroy planet Urth. “Odds are, we gonna be all right tonight.” If only she could be in love by the end of this song. It would save her soul, her mortal life. She’s dwindling away. She’s obsessed with the fact that I tricked her into living for years…

  • His Bride to Be

    “Wake up, sleepy head.” “Why?” she asked, rolling over to go back to sleep. “Because I want a girlfriend who loves life,” he replied. She went off on a litany that he immediately regretted; he’d phrased it in a way that triggered her once more. He always did that and he didn’t know if there…

  • Past Life Regression

    I’ve now mastered past life regression hypnotherapy, thanks to Udemy. What I really want to talk about is the idea of past lives. Since past lives are reality, that means someone out there is Jesus Christ. It also means someone out there is Hitler. And then I got to thinking… what if Jesus Christ was…

  • In The Void(TM)

    We’re in the void, lurking and waiting. Nick’s favorite hobby is harassing us without reprieve, of course. We would hate that guy if we chose to expend enough energy to have an emotion about him. We do not. That is the benefit of being enlightened. One can spend their energy exactly how they wish to,…

  • I’m Asking Too Much

    I am asking too much, as it turns out. It helps me weed out the boys from the men, truth be told. I want… need… to be married. One time. One person. If they cheat on me, I will not have the will left to carry on. I will be dead. This is the last…

  • Coffee Talks

    I read through my journal, or part of it, and now I’m fighting the knee jerk reaction to delete it. What was I thinking? Oh, right. I wasn’t thinking. The Universe(TM) has put me on autopilot. (“Look ma, no hands!”) I’m pretty tired of conversations involving phantoms these days. I think The Universe must be…

  • I Need My Husband

    My future husband isn’t here yet. I know someday, he’ll arrive. I don’t know what he looks like, but I can tell you how he’ll behave. That’s the most important thing, when it comes to love, anyway. I should tell you before I begin that everything I type here to show how I’d like him…

  • “A Day In The Life Of” (Cont’d)

    She met her goals for the day, wouldn’t you know. All but one: making the elusive donut waffle. It’s not that she didn’t have the reagents on hand. Far from it: she had conjure at least 100 waffles, she’d wager. There was something else holding her back. It wasn’t Sir Deli Man – perish the…

  • “A Day In The Life Of”

    I wake up alone. I’ve tossed and turned all night, rolling around with discomfort. My bladder reminds me that it needs to be emptied, but I lie there, semi-comfortable at last. I cling to the vestiges of sleep, wishing it could last forever. I look at the clock, remembering it’s set an hour ahead somehow…

  • The Invisible Woman

    There’s a woman who is completely invisible. It’s not because she doesn’t reflect the light that reaches her hair, nails, eyes, and skin. It’s not because she does anything to make you avert your gaze. She does nothing to change the tides of time around her. Besides, she would be perfectly visible if you had…

  • I’m Sick

    Something catastrophic has happened to my person. It’s really difficult to explain without telling all the details, so perhaps I just need to write a book describing it. I feel like there are many lessons being learned and if all of humanity could learn them with me, we might be blessed with peace and prosperity…

  • Bugs In My Hair

    There are still gnats buzzing all around me. How very annoying. -_-* I’m afraid my ancient ones are about to die. They look old. Worn out. They already act dead, pushing all the chores to ensure living takes place onto me. Cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, laundry. But they won’t just give me the deed to…

  • Invisible Monsters

    He keeps taking away from her. One layer at a time, peeling her back like an onion or ripping a petal off the rose with each challenge. He wants her to expose her true nature: a devil dressed like an angel. That’s his perception of her and he will not change his mind, no matter…

  • Striving For Change

    She found herself howling in fury at the attackers in her head. It was 1:00 AM when she lost her cool for the final time. She’d been entertaining asshole narcissists for at least a year now. A nonstop barrage of bullshit. Lies, excuses, and so much more. She turned her face to the heavens and…

  • Connection/Art

    I took a workshop today via Udemy called Connect with Colour – Using Art as a Way of Knowing. It’s about 30 minutes long. It’s one of the better freebies I’ve found on Udemy. I made a digital image full of hearts. ❤ It made me feel kind of fuzzy and good inside. It made…

  • Imagining “A Day In The Life Of”

    As part of the Raise Your Vibration course, Mischaela encourages that we imagine our future. A day in the life of our future selves. So, here goes… I wake up and something alerts me to the fact that I’m not alone in my bed. It might be an arm around me or my hand touching…

  • My Relationship Faux Pas

    I keep beating my head against the wall. What is it that I do wrong? How is it that everyone treats me like I’m a substandard piece of crap instead of the beautiful goddess I know I am? What is wrong with me? Technically, nothing is wrong with me. Yet, God decided to reprogram me…

  • METATRON IS ME

    Metatron is my best self, I’ve realized. The me who tries to make everything less personal so I don’t have to have emotions about it. I don’t have to have feelings about everything happening to me or around me. I don’t have to have feelings about losing my job, moving back in with my parents,…

  • Meeting My Future Self

    We are all on the same trajectory, all of us humans. The trajectory of self-realization. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we must fulfill some basic needs before we can achieve it. The body must be safe, i.e. there is no fear of expiry or lack of nourishment. The mind must be safe, i.e. there’s…

  • Enlightenment Hurts

    Grab a packet of Post-Its, a pen, and a mirror. For 30 seconds, write down every thought you have about yourself (without overthinking it) as you look into the mirror. Assess these things and then put them aside. Later that day, look at each Post-It and rate it on a scale of 1-10 for how…

  • My Path Is Sacred. Is Yours?

    I found these mantras incredibly soothing. Maybe you will find the same. The enchantress who created this is certainly blessed in the realm of relaxing music. Thank you, Universe. I am on a quest for true love, friends. I died one day in 2020 and The Universe(TM) (or God, if you will, though I’m STILL…

  • The Man of My Dreams

    I have been daydreaming for over a year and, now, I can finally daydream the man of my dreams. I shall conjure him out of thin air, I suppose, using only my words. My voice. The man I am coming to know calls himself Daniel, though that’s not entirely relevant to this conversation. I want…

  • What makes you think you can win the game of love?

    LOVE IS NOT A GAME. THERE ARE GAMES AND THERE IS LOVE. Playing games is the epitome of hatred. You are playing with someone’s heart. You are manipulating them while they should be heaping love onto you. They might not be heaping love onto you, but then that’s on them for hating you. You can…

  • A Strange Dream

    I woke up today to a strange dream. I’d gone to the grocery store – Wegmans, I think – and was trying to check out via self-checkout (which I rarely use.) For some reason, all the things in my cart were already in bags and all the bag handles were tied in knots, so I…