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Tag: humanitarian

  • Need More Input!

    Johnny 5 is alive. “God?” she asked timidly. “Yes?” he replied, waiting for whatever was going to follow next. “I know the big bang was caused by a spark… but what caused the spark?” she pondered aloud. “Oh, that’s embarrassing,” God replied. She asked suddenly, offering the most embarrassing thing she could think of in…

  • The Battle of the Bulge

    That’s with my mid-section, mind you. It’s pudgy. I poke it and it jiggles. God cries sometimes because I tell him I want to eat myself skinny and he says, ‘Just fucking eat, child. There’s a medical condition at work here. Don’t worry about the skinny. It’s not half as important as your life.’ He’s…