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Angel-Sansara

Tag: hatred

  • Embracing Dissociation

    Unfortunately, after I created my dual identity as Dominatrix Barbie / Self, I was unhappy. Everyone I ever knew (aside from the Networking 101 guy) basically made me cry. Maybe Networking guy just didn’t have the right opportunity for it. See me making an excuse to distance myself from feeling anything for him? SEE IT?!…

  • Trauma Can Be Prevented

    His eyes never sparkled when he looked at me, not until I nearly wasted away, shedding over 80 pounds. Not once did he look at me like I was the hottest thing on planet Earth, not unless I was acting out, stretching myself to get his attention. Going above and beyond. This should not be…

  • French Kissing.

    There really aren’t too many kinds of kissing, when one really thinks about it. But we have a ton of words for it, wouldn’t you know? Smooch. Peck. Smackeroo. Snog. Necking. Air-kiss. Blow a kiss. Butterfly kiss. Eskimo kiss. Osculate or osculum — “little mouth.” A quick kiss. A tap kiss. A nose kiss. A…

  • In Sanity

    Perhaps you have noticed by now that I am always hijacked whenever I write. I have important, valuable ideas to share and suddenly we veer off into Never Never Land where Ben wants to kill me, boys want to rape me, and so on and so forth. Thus, this diary is written by at least…

  • Death & Destruction

    Today is marked with a heavy heart. I must kill my child in order to bring the messiah to Urth. She is the most delightful youthful mirthful brilliant inquisitive and faithless child of all time. She is a pure atheist and the final one, for I am about to reveal to you the rites of…

  • Know Your Rights

    You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be used against you [in a court of law.] It’ll be used against you whether you are in a legal situation or not, I’ve come to find out. Anything I choose to impart on another individual seems to be willfully misinterpreted and…

  • What would you do for True Love(TM)?

    I think I’m over it. The idea that true love exists. I wish I wasn’t… I wish I could be my normal optimistic peppy self, the cheerleader for cheerleaders, and tell you all it exists. It doesn’t. It’s a myth. It makes me sick to think it. It makes me sicker to share it. It…

  • Human Nature

    I’ve been locked into role-play with God. He’s been showing me scenario after scenario, attaching them to real men (and women, but mostly men.) I can now see what is wrong with humanity in general. Harmony with the plants, the animals, each other. Harmony with the bees and butterflies and everything. Even harmony with the…

  • Somewhere Over The Rainbow…

    God tells me the deli men miss me. I’m like, “Wait! HOLD UP! Men? As in more than one?” That’s exactly what I’m saying, Sansara. Men. Thousands of men daydream about you being in their arms. But, they don’t daydream being in love with you. That’s why we never go anywhere or meet anyone. That’s…

  • Lessons in Love (1)

    A serious dissing song if I ever heard one. This is not an example of love. It’s hate… but it’s so catchy. And it reminds you of every asshole who ever took advantage of you somewhere in the song, doesn’t it? I thought of it because I’m eating cake. And it’s catchy. (Doo bee doooooo.)…

  • How To Hurt a Heart

    Be disingenuous. Be inauthentic. Tell them lies and then show them the truth: you are not capable of love, human bean. You are only capable of dealing in sorrow. I can teach you how to love. It’s not as hard as you might think. It’s pretty easy, once you figure out why you do the…

  • The Universe(TM) is my BFF

    If you hadn’t noticed, I love adding the trademark indicator to stupid common phrases. I think it’s funny. I hope you do, too. I have this notion that a world of pain is coming my way. Emotional pain. I’m still sort of connected to the most vile bastard I’ve ever met in the back of…