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Angel-Sansara

Tag: god

  • Play That Funky Music, White Girl

    I’m nuts and so is everyone else, I’ve decided. I’ve been hearing things inside my head, telling me what’s happening in situations where I have zero knowledge of the situation. For instance, I don’t actually know if Anthony cheated on me. Not until we separated, anyway, and then he was only cheating because he thought…

  • Everyone’s a Rapist and I Want to Die [NSFW]

    Crystal was in a mood so black and foul, she thought she should probably decline Diego’s invitation. Maybe if she told him she wasn’t feeling mentally well, he’d be up to rescheduling the dinner. She picked up her phone and started to write a text to him, but Sansara stopped her. “Crystal, don’t cancel this…

  • Ruined Afterglow [NSFW]

    She was mad at him, he could just tell. They just had sex for the very first time and she was angry. He tried to figure out what he did wrong. He wanted to smack himself in the forehead. They’d been discussing wedding dresses and he’d asserted he wanted her in white and the moment…

  • Sansara’s Surprise

    Sansara was a convert. She and Crystal went through the Tai Chi warm ups again. She recalled Crystal chuckling at her the first time, ridiculing her for not thinking about how Asian culture was far more advanced than the West was. They’d had thousands of years to figure out exactly how the human body works…

  • Rejecting Sir Deli Man

    Sir Deli Man had never been rejected before in his life. He guffawed at Sansara as she told him so. All because he insisted on keeping Janice as a friendly acquaintance, full well knowing the woman had designs for him. Crystal was not asking for much: she was asking for loyalty. Fealty might be a…

  • Jerome is God’s Name

    </grain of salt> The following story may be completely fictional. Grab yourself a cup of tea, coffee, a nice large water, a snack, and prepare for the blitz of me telling my story as quickly as possible because I think a psycho murderer is on his way to my door step to kill me. I…

  • Fighting the War

    Sansara looked at herself, worried. She checked her health markers in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her teeth were yellow. Her hair was a mess. Her skin was dull and scaly on her forehead. Her nails were brittle and broke easily. Her waist line was increasing. Her back ached and her feet hurt. Crystal,…

  • Reprise: I’m a ‘Stalker’

    I got off-topic last entry so I’ll try again. There is this guy in the grocery store that I see once in a month or so, at random. One of the times I saw him — September of last year — he caught me staring at his back. He turned around and our eyes met,…

  • I Feel Like a Narcissist

    [Profanity warning] Le sigh. Probably every few months or so, I get around to thinking I’m a narcissist. I’m not sure why I go in circles on this topic. I was convinced of it when I dated my psycho ex, actually… I consider it to be possible with my strange duality, but the truth of…

  • Going Silent as a Shaman

    “Silence can make us uncomfortable because we’re so used to distracting ourselves from what we’re feeling—from difficult emotions like fear, resentment or anger,” says Stephanie Ludwig, PhD, MA, MDiv, Director of Spiritual Wellness at Canyon Ranch Tucson. “When we’re truly and intentionally silent, we have to face whatever is inside of us.” Instead, we keep…

  • The Holy Bible, PT 2

    I read more than half of the King James Version of The Holy Bible last year. So many people seem to identify in faith as Christian that I was curious what was actually in that text. I was looking for some sort of higher meaning or purpose to life, I must admit. I’ve heard that…

  • How To Handle Bullies (Pt 2)

    I got some excellent feedback on my previous entry via an open forum, thankfully. I’d like to amend my message appropriately regarding the subject of anti-bullying as I respond to the logic presented to me. Please bear with me! A member of the forum is perturbed that I share that violence is the key to…

  • How To Handle Bullies

    “Funny how we make serious faces and act bold when we bleed so much. We bleed and we can’t hide.” – (unknown) Your emotions are valid. Your voice matters. You do not deserve oppression. Your feelings matter! Your thoughts matter!

  • New Concept: Open Therapy

    Open therapy: discussing one’s life openly with the public to look for feedback, potentially compassion, and definitely new perspectives regarding the experiences in one’s life that have happened, are actively happening, or potentially may happen. I’ve got this nagging inner voice that is very masculine in nature and definitely not me that just won’t quit…

  • Crystal’s Dark Comedy #1

    He’s not jail cute. I have to stay in my lane and put my eyes back on the food. I ran over a phantom dog. Scooby Doo taught me more about life than school ever will.

  • Starting Over

    Since August 2020, I’ve been in recovery from a near death experience. It’s a long, steeply sloped road that I’m walking up. Eventually, I’ll get to the mountain top. I’ll find the den of the dragon. And then I will face the dragon.

  • Internal Struggle

    I have to tell you the one most annoying thing: it’s when I fight with myself. I’ll be damned if I’m giving up coffee unless I absolutely must. Loki… or whomever… keeps telling me I’m killing the good bacteria in my gut with it. But the creamer (with cane sugar in it) is just fine.…

  • Unpacking Is Exhausting

    Dear Future Husband: Thank you for your concern over whether or not I eat so I can go back to work. You’re a gem. I’m eating pepperoni pizza. Again. Without you. Spicy cup pepperoni, might I add, from your work place. Do you cut this yourself? Or is that someone else’s job? Hmm. YUMMY. Also…

  • Jaxon Solsinger is Missing

    [Shastro, Suyana — Flight of the Swans] You know, I’d really like it if my pain would go away. I’ve slept three nights on my Purple mattress, which has done wonders for me, mind you, but it’s still not right. [Shireen — Umai] What? You want a full play list? Ugh. Fine. Just push me…

  • The Battle of the Bulge

    That’s with my mid-section, mind you. It’s pudgy. I poke it and it jiggles. God cries sometimes because I tell him I want to eat myself skinny and he says, ‘Just fucking eat, child. There’s a medical condition at work here. Don’t worry about the skinny. It’s not half as important as your life.’ He’s…

  • Calico Cat

    I found another of my prized possessions: a hat I bought in California. Amazing fur hat!

  • ‘You Are Ridiculous!’

    I even named a character Ridiculous once on an MMO called RFO, a.k.a. Rising Force Online. Ridiculously entertaining! I mean, that’s the point and all. I love you too, my fans. My audience! To the woman who dreamt up toasties first: Thanks for the awesome name, you should still use it. It was yours first.…

  • Randomosity

    [George Michael — Faith] You guys… I can’t find my broom. I think the fairies stole it. I say that whenever I can’t find something that should be in plain sight. It’s just… gone. Like it never fucking existed. It’s like my brain gaslighting me. I don’t like being gaslit, y’all. Especially by my bio-dad.…

  • Magic Man

    I’m convinced there’s a magic man out there for me. Except his eyes are like coffee. [Heart — Magic Man] Maybe I’m wrong. I mean, God keeps promising me one Jaxon Solsinger — that’s our new last name if he doesn’t step up to the plate soon. It’s his turn to be at the bat.…

  • Coffee & Cake (& Chai & Toasties)

    My toasties are shaped like a cake or a really decadent brownie but have the texture of a cookie. I’m enjoying my first toastie with a cup of masala chai that I left in the fridge overnight with all the spices in it. YUM! I’m going to have to make it part of my recipe:…

  • What Gets My Goat

    What the fuck? I have two sticks of man deodorant and neither have aluminum in them. But, when I go to the fucking store to buy woman deodorant, every single one of those fucking tubes has aluminum on the label. It’s known to the state of Crystal that aluminum causes BREAST CANCER! Today, I am…

  • Toasties & Masala Chai

    We are soaking our masala chai ingredients in spring water right now. I read something about crushing it for a stronger flavor. I do not own a mortar and pestle at this time, so I am soaking it per God’s suggestion. It makes sense that letting the water seep into the spices to soften them…

  • Trickster: 2, Bio-Dad: 0

    The first cup of coffee I made that old man was with milk. They added a bunch of sugar afterwards. The second cup of coffee I made that old man was with Silk vanilla dairy-free creamer + sugar. I start brewing more coffee and my mom tells me to make him another cuppa ‘just the…

  • Tyr, God of War

    Also known as Ares. And so many other names, woo hoo! He’s one of my younger brother’s favorite deities. He also loves Thor. Thor don’t love him back, sadly. Thor is an aspect of Odin. So is Loki. Oh, you didn’t know that? I’m going to fucking murder my father. I’m telling you all that…

  • Wile E. Coyote

    [Coyote Kisses — Acid Wolfpack (original mix)] Mr. Coyote is possibly one of my all-time favorite Looney Tunes characters. First of all, he never complains and he never gives up. No matter how many times he fails or how many times he makes the same mistake, he never gives up! My hero. ❤ [Crazy Frog…

  • It’s Good To Be Warm

    Weather forecast for Erie, PA as of 9:53 PM 1/29/2022 I just sat outside for 3.5 hours with the movers that brought my stuff that had been lost for five months. I don’t live in a great part of town, and something I noticed around these parts is that there’s a distinct lack of middle…

  • Another Cuppa (Coffee)

    I thought I was ready to strike outside and shovel. Unfortunately, a muscle in my right shoulder just spasmed and so now God is doing yoga with me to try to alleviate that and get me moving again. I don’t actually know yoga, but God does. He knows so much stuff! He’s been working with…

  • Another Cuppa

    I’ve just pitched the idea of my mother playing Borderlands 3 with me. She’s game, y’all! I don’t think she’s ever played an FPS but I promised to protect her. I even offered to let my dad play, but he gave the response I expected: he’s more into RPGs. I knew that. I told him…

  • The Broken Down Girl Robot

    There once was a woman who felt like a robot because everyone around her treated her as if she was a robot. They made this fatal mistake because Crystal separated business from pleasure, so to speak; she divorced her emotions until the end of the day, where she sat and reflected upon what happened throughout…

  • Lap Kitties Rule

    My cats love to keep me company, especially when I cannot move around so easily. Today is going to have to be an easy-going day. I really did myself in with that shoveling stuff. I did my best to stretch and keep limber while shoveling, but there was just so much of it. I mean……

  • Being Disabled Sucks Balls

    Ah, man. The moving company that finally found my stuff and is bringing it here forgot to remind me that they are going to hold my shit hostage until I finish the payment for delivery. It’s five months late, y’all. I deposited the money orders in the bank after two months, figuring my shit was…

  • Sir Deli Man, Marry Me!

    I know I’ve never spoken to this man before, but the Gods have definitely introduced me to his subconscious mind. He’s amazing. If it’s not obvious, he works in a fucking deli. Hence, his title, Sir Deli Man. I’ve named him Jax because one short word is more efficient than one long title, but I…

  • I Lost The Job I Resigned From

    As if that isn’t confusing in and of itself. I resigned from my hoity toity job in July of 2021 and a few weeks ago, my boss e-mailed me about how I was terminated. First: Thank you, U.S. Bank, for the most amazing tenure I’ve ever had in the realm of techno-wizardry. I loved that…

  • Coffee, Our One True Love

    An ode to java deserves more java. I brew sixteen cups of coffee on the average day. I give three or four to my mother and I drink the rest. One might say this is unhealthy. I will tell you now that I have no heart palpitations whatsoever. I am not stressed out. I might…

  • The Ocean Dragon Woman Reborn

    I should tell you now that although I am the Ocean Dragon Woman, there are two of me. The other me is nothing of the sort. The other half of me is the Mountain Phoenix Woman. Notice that we are all woman. If you’re not already aware, this means we have a duality that no…

  • No Noose is Good Noose

    Our stuff is supposed to arrive tomorrow. The stuff we lost five months ago in some sort of moving faux pas. I don’t have the money orders anymore to pay them with and it’s Saturday. I do hope they’ll take a debit card instead or even my credit card. They’re just going to have to…

  • Loki Strikes Again

    ‘I got you good, Sansara!’ Loki crowed in triumph. Simultaneously, he gave the woman the impression that he was hugging her. ‘That guy at Starbucks inside the Barnes & Noble is not Jax from Wegmans, young lady. He looks a lot like him, doesn’t he? In fact, he could be a clone, wouldn’t ya say?’…

  • Tricking An Old Man

    The spirits and I tricked my old man today. He just ate plant-based butter and couldn’t tell the difference between that and real butter. And, to boot, his fucking doctor recommended he eat margarine instead. That stuff that is basically biowaste that they package as food. That is not food, children. God is quite pleased…

  • Wegmans Trip 422

    My parents expect me to be mind readers and so much more. It’s getting really old. ‘Did you get Jello cups?’ as soon as I came back from the store. ‘No, bitch, you didn’t put it on the grocery list.’ I didn’t say it, but instead I gritted my teeth because my hip is out…

  • A Man-Shaped Man

    I’m in love with a man I’ve never met. You might think, ‘Well, that’s how the internet can work out.’ I have never spoken to this young man directly, unfortunately. I say young, but he’s not that young. A real youth might call him old, really. He’s perfect, is what he is. I must first…

  • One Day At A Time

    It’s snowing again. Six inches of snow have accumulated since yesterday. I’m not an able-bodied person but I like to play one on T.V. In other words, I’m about to go venture out into the snow (again) and shovel until I’m too tired to move (again.) I don’t have much choice: unlike St. Louis, the…