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Tag: god

  • I am the Code Cracker.

    Reality is written in code. She gives you a moment to process your Matrix “whoa.” Everything — absolutely everything — revolves around unwritten rules. Before we knew what to call Gravity, we interacted with it every day. In fact, it’s friend in chief is Entropy, which we can observe as a small child tears a […]

  • Black Friday Is A Scam

    But we’re not going to talk about that. Nope! What is wrong with me? he wondered to himself. Why was he still imagining Grocery Girl? Yesterday, he’d let his mind wander and one thing led to another… for hours, actually. Two solid hours. He daydreamed of making love to her that whole time… and it […]

  • American Singles Awareness Day #1: Thanksgiving

    You could have gone from the day after Valentine’s to Halloween single and not been as keenly aware of it as you would be on (US) Thanksgiving. I don’t know if this rings true for Canadian Thanksgiving, so forgive my ignorance. Today is a day of gluttony. We will eat until we cannot move, we […]

  • Wolf & Rabbit

    Wolf was traipsing through familiar territory. His territory, actually. It was his home and he had every right to be there, whether he was on the prowl or not. Many creatures, both big and small, ran through his neck of the woods. He spied Rabbit, a mesmerizing creature he’d seen many a time before in […]

  • Love Advice from God

    I’ve been having trouble keeping track of the days of the week. I cannot stick to any schedule. I sleep whenever I sleep and sometimes it’s twelve hours at a time, if not closer to eighteen hours. It depends on how well I’m fed and how well rested I am. I dye my hair for […]

  • Anthem for the White Woman

    Helloween is here, my friends. Short, short skirts and low cut tops and bare arms. All when it’s about the right temperature to make my nipples hard enough to cut glass. I’d rather be warm, but I guarantee that every party will be full of women dressed as sluts because that’s what’s really scary, these […]

  • Round 1: The Hungarian.

    It looks better in color. (It’s red, white, green.) Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán is committing crimes against humanity. According to a real Hungarian, rather than Anglicized news from the Hungarians, Orbán , they are facing potential genocide this winter as the PM just spent all the funds meant for heating their homes on Vodafone. (4iG is […]

  • Whore, Grief, Courtship

    “Where is that whore,” he said, his voice laden with scorn. I heard this in my head today. Whore is not a word I’d typically use, though I know the meaning. SYNONYMS: strumpet, hustler, slut, tramp, escort, harlot, hooker, pro, prostitute, streetwalker, call girl, fallen woman, lady of the evening, working girl. Sex worker. Have […]

  • Dear Grocery Girl,

    It’s only been three days since we’ve made eye contact, but I miss you. I know I’ve never said hello or even told you my name, but I want to resolve that. I want to sweep you off your feet and make you my wife forever and ever, really, but I understand there are a […]

  • A Day In the Life of…

    It’s a typical day, y’all. Save world, get boy. There’s a lot of work to do to save the world, though, so I need your help. Think happy thoughts, just like Peter Pan. Your negativity is poisoning The Universe(TM) as we speak and He don’t like it. Peter Pan, obviously! No, wait. The Universe(TM). Brahma, […]