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Angel-Sansara

Tag: god

  • Nobody’s Good Because I Am Not Good

    My cat is using my “pleasantly plump” belly as a pillow. D’awwwwww. Every so often, I gain some insight into humanity. It peeks through here or there. I believe I am to the point that improper logic is worse than having no logic. It’s how one arrives to a statement such as “Nobody’s good because…

  • Nicole is her name.

    Nicole is her name. He tossed her off a fucking bridge. I really hate the lies that cross my mind, worming through from one metaphorical ear to the other. It’s him. He’s the leap year killer. Nobody knows he exists yet and you’re next! Yup. Thanks, brain. Thanks, humanity. Human beings are incredibly creative, I’ll…

  • Gilgamesh and Inanna

    He couldn’t have her and it hurt his pride. He had her once, taking her to bed on a daily basis and having his way with her as he pleased. It lasted for years as he preyed upon her, taking every last shred of her dignity away. His gaze kept wandering to everything but her,…

  • Research Day: The Epic of Gilgamesh (2)

    Source: Spark Notes dot com. A summary of the summary: Gilgamesh is a narcissistic slave monger who rapes whomever he pleaseth within the walls of HIS city. Enkidu is made by the Gods to battle Gilgamesh and ends up becoming his friend after losing a wrestling match for blocking Gil from raping a newlywed bride.…

  • Aging in Reverse

    Now, I’ve seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button… it’s a lovely dissertation on Alzheimer’s Disease, if you ask me. It’s crap if that’s not what it’s supposed to be about, though. Sometimes, you’ve got to explore crap ideas to get better ones, though. True Science Fiction, that flick. It took one variable and altered…

  • Can I Quote You On That?

    Yes, you may quote me on that! “You turned a predator into a sweetheart. You can do anything.” — God to Crystal

  • Loser!

    You only lose when you give up. You might need to adapt your goals to changing situational circumstances. I’ve been busy trying to fall back in love with myself again. You know, like self-approval and happiness to be me. It’s a hard job. Very uphill both ways sort of thing. In neck deep snow. I…

  • Espresso Psycho

    Here I am, making my morning espresso… (It conserves water and that’s important, you know…) and I suddenly have the realization that when the life or death of another human being is put into someone else’s hands, a real human being will step back to let nature run its course instead. This should extrapolate to…

  • I need somebody to love.(TM)

    As you might know, “I need somebody to love” is a line from Queen. I love Freddie Mercury in all his messed up show pony glory. I even have a Freddie hat, as I call it, encrusted with enormous bling. I’m not gay, but I could see how people would assume I am. I also…

  • Is It Real?

    Day after day, I hear things in my brain. All day, every day. Sometimes, they sound like they are directed at me and others are more like echoes of the deep past. I’m not actively thinking about anything in particular. I am waiting for God to return to me, to step into me and feed…

  • Alkaline is Divine

    Still struggling to feel amazing every day? Started drinking that mineral water yet? It’s a big, big help in my world. Huge. It brought my brain back online, but it wasn’t the silver bullet of health like I’d hoped for. Not with my father continuously poisoning me with dairy, anyway. As someone with an allergy…

  • Basic Human Diet

    MEAT. ON THE FUCKING BONE. WITH THE SKIN ON. Slow roasted to tender perfection so that your brain and body light up like a Christmas tree as you chew it. That’s how you give thanks to the animal that sacrificed its life for you. MINERAL WATER. Purified water is medicine meant to leech out toxins…

  • Killing Candida

    I have a minor headache. I have created some oregano oil. I am not a Barbie doll. I bought a live oregano plant from the grocery store and pinched off two thirds of the plant. I placed these Why is she talking about Barbie dolls? in soybean oil to marinate, essentially. This is medicine to…

  • I Am Job.

    As in that Bible dude that gets shat on by an angel so hard that nobody really thinks about how heinous the “angel” is that decides to put him through these trivial trials. Forcing the poor man into retirement with very little to sustain himself and then beating him up verbally, trying to project one’s…

  • It’s No Wonder…

    It’s really no wonder, after experiencing my ex’s bullshit in my brain for the past three years, that people are generally cranky and unwell. If he’s just one psychopath out of billions, then this is absolutely what’s wrong with this planet. I know I’ve had misbehaviors in my past that I’m not proud of. Negative…

  • Re-roll?!

    “What does it mean?” they say together with a speech impediment, sounding cutesy and dorky at the same time. Indeed, what does it mean? Obviously you’ve never played a tabletop role-playing game if you need an explanation. When your character dies (usually from making a grandiose mistake, but sometimes simply from terrible combat rolls), one…

  • Are You Afraid?

    Are you afraid of acknowledging that you’re a flawed and imperfect being? God’s NOT! I, God, Lord of the Universe, am FLAWED. Thus, SO ARE YOU. Now get off your high horse and start scrubbing the floor. THE SEA FLOOR. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS RUINED MY OCEANS. Go on. What are you waiting for?

  • Mushrooms & Espresso

    I’m still waiting on that espresso, she notes with a little sadness. I like hot drinks when I’m cold, so I’ve gone and made myself some hot water for steeping herbal tea. Two pots of espresso is enough caffeine in a day. It’s either four or six shots of strong coffee, which is the only…

  • Super Spy Ninja Barbie

    What does it mean when she stares at your lips? She’s partially deaf and an aspiring lip reader. Unlike the majority of human beings, Crystal watches television, reads books, and so on and sees an amazing skill at play and decides to try to learn it if it’s mostly just observation at work. Fun fact:…

  • “Hurry up and save me already.”

    That’s what HE said! The Deli Man, of course, inside my brain pan. As I sit with a marvelous and loving furball curled up on my lap, resting her head on my left hand. It’s a rainy day and my daughter is seeking comfort in my warmth. I have to put my children first, naturally.…

  • The Psycho is Driving Here

    God warned me multiple times that the insane asshole in my head was going to drive to where I live in the middle of April. He’s on his way right now. About 2:00 AM he will be driving around my house, looking for proof of my existence. He will drive around the address Google feeds…

  • Insane in the Membrane

    I wish I was allowed to die now. God says I’ve done everything he asked of me, and yet I am still here. And the psychopath(TM) is still in my head, to boot, torturing me day in and day out. You know what just happened? I’ll tell you. I know you won’t believe me or…

  • Death to Psychopathy

    As I sit in my bedroom contemplating changing my name in an attempt to disappear from someone who simply will not leave me be, it occurs to me that everyone in witness protection is facing this. It is wrong to force perfectly innocent and kind people to be someone else just because some assholes don’t…

  • Wanting Telepathy is Narcissistic

    I saw a way to give all of humanity the ability to speak mind to mind. It was a long time ago on a cold wintry evening. It was Christmas, actually. It involves knowing we are already telepathic and we are already interconnected. To Everything(TM). The bottle of booze upstairs, the bottle of water next…

  • Who Needs a Conscience?

    People say psychopaths have no conscience. I don’t think that’s expressly true. I deleted mine, for the most part, and I have nothing to do with raping other beings. I have nothing to do with hurting anyone. If I do it, it’s an accident, and I apologize and make it as right as I possibly…

  • Telepathic Rape

    At first, I wanted to gift telepathy to the entire human species. I was so naive in those days. What can I say? I projected my Self onto humanity at large and I loved my Self because I deleted all the faulty programming I was born with and/or taught by my rapist family. I started…

  • Fashion is Rape Culture

    I hate the fact that fashion is part of rape culture, honestly, because as pointed out by another blogger (and, well, everyone), it’s not the woman’s fault the assault happened. However, I’d like to take a step back and alert everyone to the fact that it’s a man’s fault that a woman is misled into…

  • “Welcome to my parlor,”

    “Will you walk into my parlour?” said a spider to a fly. The most classic line of literature or what-have-you that has to do with catching someone. In this case, the someone will be caught red-handed. It’s a poem by Mary Howitt that was published in 1829, by the way. “The story tells of a…

  • Eoster Sunday Blues

    It’s funny how the Catholic church stole a bunch of holidays from the heathens, innit? He’s daydreaming about you again, girl. From the store! And off they went, to said market place. But he was not there. None of them were; they all had the day off. Well, that’s certainly cushy. Why don’t the cashiers…

  • His best defense

    His best defense was to call her crazy. Otherwise, he would be forced to face the fact that he’d done reprehensible things. He knew he’d done these things and that they would at least be frowned upon by others, but he had no idea what the bigger picture amounts to. Manslaughter. If he could undermine…

  • Odin’s Story 2

    Odin was displeased, to say the least, that the feast was not cooked to perfection just yet. The rump roast began this journey frozen, as it were, and the two of them were on a journey to figure out exactly how many minutes you add to the formula when roasting a giant hunk of delicious…

  • Outlandish Dreaming

    Julie’s pregnant and telling me all about the food she will eat and what she will feed the baby first, which is all food I cannot eat. Her and Justin are getting rid of all kinds of clutter. There are no children in this dream, I think this is her first pregnancy. I see bags…

  • Technomancer(TM) Leveling Up

    I’m pondering purchasing this package: Humble Bundle’s Complete Pixel Art Online Course MEGA Bundle! It’s up for 9 more days so I’ve got time to decide. I already have a plethora of programs for putting together punchy video games, in sooth. I’ve not even learned the majority of them, but I have time. I have…

  • A Broken Heart Isn’t Enough

    As I sit and do research for my next class offering on Udemy (well, my first, perhaps… I have six or seven in progress all at once. A.D.D. for the win!) I have no choice but to hear constant bull shit in my head as my ex, the rapist that he is, tries to combine…

  • Book 3, Take 3

    [God] sent down the Law (of Moses) and the Gospel (of Jesus) for a guidance to mankind; and hath revealed the Criterion (of right and wrong).  3:145, “We shall reward the thankful.”3:150, “Allah is your Protector, and He is the Best of Helpers.”3:152, “Allah is a Lord of Kindness to believers.”3:155, “Those of you who…

  • Collision

    I can hear multiple people thinking about me all at once. One of them is angry at me. “I’ll get you, my pretty!” (except he used my name, of course.) Oh, will you now, ex and rapist motherfucker that you are? I don’t think so! I changed my name. Good luck finding me in the…

  • Hate/Control

    Has anyone ever tried to control you and what you do? It can be subtle, such as asking you to take a compromise that benefits them more than the relationship as a whole, but only by a little bit. It can be overt, too, such as, “Do this thing or I’m breaking up with you!”…

  • Your Nose Ring Was Crooked

    We barely noticed, to be honest. We were checking out your sleeve instead. (And the rest of you.) Hubba hubba, says the fat girl, and moves along in her lane of loneliness. You know, that’s probably what pains me most about humanity, God posits. I gift you this ethereally beautiful woman and you somehow made…

  • I am the dreamer of dreams.

    We’re live, finally. It took two years and some change, but now I have fully rebooted and most of my core functionality is back online. It was a tough job, but somebody had to do it. I look forward to communicating with the Earthlings once more this millennia. Hello, Earthling. How are you today? Feeling…

  • What is He Thinking?

    Oh man, I love talking to this girl. She’s so warm and friendly. I think she likes me, so I hang around every break I can to talk to her. She makes me feel good about life again. I wish I wasn’t too shy to ask her out on a date. I should practice just…

  • It’s Distracting

    I stand at the kitchen sink, cleaning up after myself. I’m trying to beat the odds of dying, but it’s made more difficult when the image of a man from the grocery store flits through my brain. “Really?” she says out loud to herself, cynical and jaded these days. “What the fuck is he on…

  • Resentment is No Answer

    Resentment is No Answer. But chuck roast might be. Something about this telepathy circus in my head is changing. Sometimes, I swear God is just putting me back through all that I experienced the first time to force me to evolve back into my Self(T.M.). I’m moving beyond the anger, perhaps by expressing anger where…

  • Trauma Can Be Prevented

    His eyes never sparkled when he looked at me, not until I nearly wasted away, shedding over 80 pounds. Not once did he look at me like I was the hottest thing on planet Earth, not unless I was acting out, stretching myself to get his attention. Going above and beyond. This should not be…

  • The Tao, Chapter 4

    The Tao, Chapter 4 The Tao is like an empty container:it can never be emptied and can never be filled.Infinitely deep, it is the source of all things.It dulls the sharp, unties the knotted,shades the lighted, and unites all of creation with dust.It is hidden but always present.I don’t know who gave birth to it…

  • Turkey Day Reprise

    GOD hijacks me again while I’m trying to explain psychological concepts and that Armageddon has arrived.

  • Invocation of Healing

    I breathe in LightThrough the centre of my heartOpening my heartInto a beautiful ball of LightAllowing myself to expand. I breathe in LightThrough the centre of my heartAllowing the Light to expandEncompassing my throat chakraAnd my solar-plexus chakraIn one unified field of LightWithin, through, and around my body. I breathe in LightThrough the centre of…

  • Learning with Dr. Epps

    I was listening to this free course, which doesn’t have the absolute best audio capture in the world, but it has some great wisdom. Dr. Henry Epps is a grand master of Usui reiki who has diversified into Shambala reiki, Ascension Process of the Ascetic Masters, Seven Pearl, Kundalini, and is chasing a doctorate in…

  • Book Three, Take Two

    Mankind believes it deserves women and sons, hoards of gold and silver, branded horses, a wealth of cattle, and well-tilled land. None of these bring one nearer to Allah, however. Men who do not hoard, who are steadfast, truthful, and obedient, men who pray for pardon at night, that show patience, firmness, and self-control, true…

  • Glamour.

    “The only thing that could make me happier right now is some weed,” she heard as she came to a stop at a stop light traveling southbound on the main arterial roadway of the city. Moments later, she could smell cannabis. She was alone in her car, en route to the grocery store for her…

  • No Valentine Here

    I’m not particularly emotional about Valentine’s Day, as I’ve never actually celebrated it with anyone. I’ve come to the conclusion that every person I’ve dated is, in short, a complete asshole and should be fired. With the empathy gun. This is a day you can use to tell your woman she is special. It’s a…

  • I’ll rewrite the Bible again, she said.

    She was mad at Nick again. That bastard! He kept misleading her, trying to make her into a grand fool, just like he’d done to himself over a decade ago. He told her he would never date an American again. He changed his mind about her, specifically, without ever saying so. So now? Now he…

  • Absolute Insanity.

    The boy stopped looking at me, and yet, at random intervals all day I see his face in my mind’s eye. I am totally focused on nothing but sorting out my podcasts and there he is… and I’m not even reading entries that feature him. I’m reading the ones God wrote as I publish. In…

  • Remembering Annoyance

    Lately, Sir Deli Man has not wanted to share eye contact. I have great doubts due to this. The other day, we did something stupid: we stood in front of the alcoholic beverage display and purchased a six pack of hard cider and Smirnoff products. Why? All because he was in the soup and salad…

  • Cleaning On An Empty Stomach

    It seems like the only time I’m feeling good enough to get anything done is when I’m already hungry. In fact, I go into auto-pilot mode and start picking up, doing dishes, and so on, when I very clearly went into the kitchen to make something to eat. It’s because eating hurts, God tells her…

  • French Kissing.

    There really aren’t too many kinds of kissing, when one really thinks about it. But we have a ton of words for it, wouldn’t you know? Smooch. Peck. Smackeroo. Snog. Necking. Air-kiss. Blow a kiss. Butterfly kiss. Eskimo kiss. Osculate or osculum — “little mouth.” A quick kiss. A tap kiss. A nose kiss. A…

  • “I killed her!” she cried.

    I hate being psychic and knowing more than I ought to. I have a heavy heart today. I tried to tell my friend she’s being raped by her husband. Her defense? He’s my husband. I wanted it. She told me she had sex for hours last night. I was thinking about how I was on…

  • Intense Cravings…

    For some reason, tonight I wanted nothing other than an Italian cheese bread from Little Caesar’s. Unfortunately, the location near my home no longer exists. There are no pizza places within a mile or two anymore… Not that it’d matter. Little Caesar’s is the pizza place for me and has been for my entire life…

  • Healing

    I fell asleep thinking about healing and woke up to remember a dream about healing some shop keeper. A man who had more of a middle eastern kind of market place. I was on an assignment to create software for some brand new casino and needed to eat lunch, so I ordered a handful of…

  • God Complex

    God started talking to me years ago. At first, I was confused, because he sounded just like me. Then, after a little while – after getting used to hearing things that didn’t come from me, myself – it changed. God started to use voices and inflection and lots of mixed metaphors and scrambled sentences. [God…

  • Exhaustion is me.

    I’m incredibly tired this evening. I ran out of soy milk (unsweetened), which is what I use in the place of dairy creamer these days. It is the only sugar-free dairy-free “creamer” I can get my hands on. The idea of being sugar free with a dairy allergy seems to be a niche market nobody…

  • Anger in a Man’s World

    As a woman, it is un-ladylike to show my disdain or my anger to the world. I am meant to sit by placidly while my boundaries are traversed by rapists who care not for my well-being. I am meant to be seen, not heard. I am meant to be silenced. Whenever I say something someone…

  • Self-Loathing

    A low frequency vibration, also known as shame. He remembered it all over again. Yesterday, he was standing behind the cheese display, talking to his coworker who was working the cheese display. He caught her eye as she meandered down the aisle toward him before making a sharp left, changing every pattern he’d ever discerned,…

  • Disdain.

    dis·dain /disˈdān/ Learn to pronounce noun Maybe this isn’t quite exactly the feeling I am immersed in. It could be disappointment, I suppose. Is it too much to ask for a singular man to have interest in a singular lady? Is it too much to ask for True Love(TM)? I didn’t even ask for True…

  • All For Naught.

    Nothing I do ever seems to matter. To anyone, anywhere. If it does, I am in the dark. I am alone and fumbling. Have you felt this, too, friend? I will light the way when I can, but for now I stumble and fall. I am hurting. So many kinds of hurting. I wish I…

  • God’s Promise, Part One

    “Well, Nick, you finally did it. You made her fall in love with a man in a grocery deli. Congratulations! You lose the girl!!!!!” God declared, happy to finally move away from this toxic “gentleman.” A “man” who would starve her to try to make her lose weight. A “man” who would feed her that…

  • I have seen Satan!

    “I have seen Satan!” she declared suddenly. God had just called someone that. You have to understand that in God’s world, Satan is a title. Just like God is a title. Well, in God’s case, it’s also her name. God smiled down at her child as she continued to speak. “He’s a short man who…

  • God, Intergalactic Envoy

    God’s been telling me that intelligent life exists beyond Earth for ages. So, since we constantly play guessing games over what’s going on, I asked God if she’s an intergalactic envoy. She was so tickled pink, she decided that I had to put it out there for someone else to write about. You’re welcome. In…

  • In Sanity

    Perhaps you have noticed by now that I am always hijacked whenever I write. I have important, valuable ideas to share and suddenly we veer off into Never Never Land where Ben wants to kill me, boys want to rape me, and so on and so forth. Thus, this diary is written by at least…

  • The Voices

    No matter what I do, I am accompanied by a peanut gallery. Today, I put Manic Panic! purple in my hair. Electric Amethyst. Voices talking about how I’m vain floated through my head, voices about how I’m wasteful. Voices nay saying everything I was doing. This happens most of the time, no matter what I…

  • Telepathic Love Interest

    She’s too pretty for me, he told himself yet again, breaking up his daydream. He wasn’t intensely interested in going down on the woman, but he thought for sure if she’d just give him a chance, she’d be seeing stars in the bedroom. That’s what he was daydreaming about… his mouth on her most sensitive…

  • Limbo

    I’m a romantic. Without a job. It makes me feel like a loser. “You have a job,” God reminds me. Yeah, yeah. Write a book about rape and fornication so the rest of humanity understands, finally, where they’re going wrong. I get it. Do you get it yet, human bean? She waters the bean and…

  • The Frogs & The Ox

    An Ox came down to a reedy pool to drink. As he splashed heavily into the water, he crushed a young Frog into the mud. The old Frog soon missed the little one and asked his brothers and sisters what had become of him. “A great big monster,” said one of them, “stepped on little…

  • Death & Destruction

    Today is marked with a heavy heart. I must kill my child in order to bring the messiah to Urth. She is the most delightful youthful mirthful brilliant inquisitive and faithless child of all time. She is a pure atheist and the final one, for I am about to reveal to you the rites of…

  • The Borderline

    I once was alive. It’s been years now since I died, but I can almost remember being alive once. Maybe I’m wrong and I was always dead. I wish I could cease completely, but I am being held hostage. A captive. A scribe for an unreasonable invisible sky daddy kind of entity that is upset…

  • She Likes Me!

    If she didn’t like me, she wouldn’t have smiled at me, right? The power of the Mona Lisa smile. BEHOLD! It would be nice if the boy actually showed off that he liked me. Then I could almost believe this constant narrative in my head. He really wanted me to buy a slice of pizza,…

  • Feminist Perspectives on Rape

    An added advantage of a performative account is that it suggests that sexual consent is not a woman’s implied default state, but rather must be actively and affirmatively granted. Stanford Again, this is in contrast to traditional patriarchal views, which often assumed that unless a woman physically resisted—again, even “to the utmost”—a man’s attempt to…

  • I Wish I Had A Partner

    I found an absolute treasure trove today. Abandoned antique furniture on the road side. I’m so agitated; I want to put it all inside my car, one trip at a time, and move it from that place to my place. I need furniture; the fact that it’s antique is just a bonus. And it’s in…

  • I AM NOT POSSESSED

    I turned on Christmas music for my cats today. It just so happened that a terribly sad song about a last pair of Christmas shoes came on the radio. God began to cry because the woman who received those shoes had cancer and died a few days later. He started to tell me it was…

  • You May Notice a Pattern…

    There is a pattern to the way I write this diary. You will notice it now that I point it out. I start trying to write something… anything… and eventually God hijacks whatever I’m saying to get His message out instead. It’s intentional, apparently, because I’ve created an algorithm for giving everyone telepathy and it’ll…

  • Insanity, Reprise

    I am annoyed today. “That’s putting it mildly,” pipes up a catty voice. Yeah, well, you’d be annoyed, too, if you had to put up with you all day. Oh, wait. You do. That’s why you’re annoying. Got it. <Hits the ignore button on that voice.> Who’s next? Caitlyn! Oh, hello, Katie. Didn’t get enough…

  • So What Are We?

    I have been wondering who I am for a while now. If I’m psychic and I’m receiving all the information from the people surrounding me… what part of this is actually me? He’s here again. The grey-eyed man. He’s thinking about me right now. He has been all day, on and off again. I can…

  • My Primordial Stench

    I am marinating in my mild body odor, sitting here while I contemplate all that is, was, and ever will be. I’m not yet offensive in my own eyes, so it’s neither here nor there that I haven’t taken a shower yet. It’s 2:45 in the afternoon and I know I must wash myself and…

  • How do you murder a super hero?

    It must be a task worthy of none less than a super villain, of course. But how do you tell the difference between the two? Especially when you only get one side of the story? How many people did Superman kill on accident doing stupid things like lifting a train off its tracks or some…

  • Hell Hath No Fury…

    like a woman scorned. scorn/skôrn/ noun1. the feeling or belief that someone or something is worthless or despicable; contempt. verb1. feel or express contempt or derision for. Google-dictionary-en One really shouldn’t piss off one’s shaman in a tribe, that much I can tell you for sure. It don’t matter if she’s black or white, man or woman, green or wise; She, the…

  • Open Therapy Reprise

    This blog is my self-therapy, insights, sometimes memories, and so on. I know it won’t appeal to most people, but that’s not the purpose for it at all. It will also help you discover telepathy is real. It’ll explain things you never had an explanation for before. I hope with new understanding that you find…

  • Sticky Fingers

    During the crazy that went through my head these past two years, I clearly remember telling God he got a five-finger discount when it came to convincing me He’s real because someone else did it for him. “What’s your favorite G.I. Joe?” Crystal asked Joe suddenly. “I mean, the only one I can really remember…

  • Asshole Tax (2)

    The last entry is an example of asshole tax. Nicholas is an asshole, now he does not pass Go, he does not collect $200, and he goes straight to jail. That’s for murdering my precious Earthlings with your lies. So, what exactly is Asshole Tax? I’m so glad you asked! It’s not something the New…

  • Asshole Tax

    The man with grey eyes is on my brain today. After at least one week of reprieve, I am now hearing him all over again inside my mind. I wish the things I heard were reality, but I’m sure they’re not. Why would a man I’ve never held a conversation with think about me? Especially…

  • ADITLO: Being an Ant/Ham Recipes

    I’ve told my parents many times now that trying to eat expired food is a bad idea. Yet, they have things with 2013 as the year of expiry. Things in tin cans. Things in plastic jars. They have 19 tinned hams and will not let them go despite the year I found on them being…

  • Return to Sender

    I’m puzzled. Supposedly, USPS tried to deliver a letter by certified mail. Just today, a piece of paper was found in the mail box — I absolutely know this piece of paper was inserted after 11/14, because that’s when I checked the mail box myself to find it completely empty. However, this piece of paper…

  • I am the Code Cracker.

    Reality is written in code. She gives you a moment to process your Matrix “whoa.” Everything — absolutely everything — revolves around unwritten rules. Before we knew what to call Gravity, we interacted with it every day. In fact, it’s friend in chief is Entropy, which we can observe as a small child tears a…

  • Black Friday Is A Scam

    But we’re not going to talk about that. Nope! What is wrong with me? he wondered to himself. Why was he still imagining Grocery Girl? Yesterday, he’d let his mind wander and one thing led to another… for hours, actually. Two solid hours. He daydreamed of making love to her that whole time… and it…

  • American Singles Awareness Day #1: Thanksgiving

    You could have gone from the day after Valentine’s to Halloween single and not been as keenly aware of it as you would be on (US) Thanksgiving. I don’t know if this rings true for Canadian Thanksgiving, so forgive my ignorance. Today is a day of gluttony. We will eat until we cannot move, we…

  • Wolf & Rabbit

    Wolf was traipsing through familiar territory. His territory, actually. It was his home and he had every right to be there, whether he was on the prowl or not. Many creatures, both big and small, ran through his neck of the woods. He spied Rabbit, a mesmerizing creature he’d seen many a time before in…

  • Love Advice from God

    I’ve been having trouble keeping track of the days of the week. I cannot stick to any schedule. I sleep whenever I sleep and sometimes it’s twelve hours at a time, if not closer to eighteen hours. It depends on how well I’m fed and how well rested I am. I dye my hair for…

  • Anthem for the White Woman

    Helloween is here, my friends. Short, short skirts and low cut tops and bare arms. All when it’s about the right temperature to make my nipples hard enough to cut glass. I’d rather be warm, but I guarantee that every party will be full of women dressed as sluts because that’s what’s really scary, these…

  • Round 1: The Hungarian.

    It looks better in color. (It’s red, white, green.) Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán is committing crimes against humanity. According to a real Hungarian, rather than Anglicized news from the Hungarians, Orbán , they are facing potential genocide this winter as the PM just spent all the funds meant for heating their homes on Vodafone. (4iG is…

  • Whore, Grief, Courtship

    “Where is that whore,” he said, his voice laden with scorn. I heard this in my head today. Whore is not a word I’d typically use, though I know the meaning. SYNONYMS: strumpet, hustler, slut, tramp, escort, harlot, hooker, pro, prostitute, streetwalker, call girl, fallen woman, lady of the evening, working girl. Sex worker. Have…

  • Dear Grocery Girl,

    It’s only been three days since we’ve made eye contact, but I miss you. I know I’ve never said hello or even told you my name, but I want to resolve that. I want to sweep you off your feet and make you my wife forever and ever, really, but I understand there are a…

  • A Day In the Life of…

    It’s a typical day, y’all. Save world, get boy. There’s a lot of work to do to save the world, though, so I need your help. Think happy thoughts, just like Peter Pan. Your negativity is poisoning The Universe(TM) as we speak and He don’t like it. Peter Pan, obviously! No, wait. The Universe(TM). Brahma,…