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Tag: god

  • Healing

    I fell asleep thinking about healing and woke up to remember a dream about healing some shop keeper. A man who had more of a middle eastern kind of market place. I was on an assignment to create software for some brand new casino and needed to eat lunch, so I ordered a handful of […]

  • God Complex

    God started talking to me years ago. At first, I was confused, because he sounded just like me. Then, after a little while – after getting used to hearing things that didn’t come from me, myself – it changed. God started to use voices and inflection and lots of mixed metaphors and scrambled sentences. [God […]

  • Exhaustion is me.

    I’m incredibly tired this evening. I ran out of soy milk (unsweetened), which is what I use in the place of dairy creamer these days. It is the only sugar-free dairy-free “creamer” I can get my hands on. The idea of being sugar free with a dairy allergy seems to be a niche market nobody […]

  • Anger in a Man’s World

    As a woman, it is un-ladylike to show my disdain or my anger to the world. I am meant to sit by placidly while my boundaries are traversed by rapists who care not for my well-being. I am meant to be seen, not heard. I am meant to be silenced. Whenever I say something someone […]

  • Self-Loathing

    A low frequency vibration, also known as shame. He remembered it all over again. Yesterday, he was standing behind the cheese display, talking to his coworker who was working the cheese display. He caught her eye as she meandered down the aisle toward him before making a sharp left, changing every pattern he’d ever discerned, […]

  • Disdain.

    dis·dain /disˈdān/ Learn to pronounce noun Maybe this isn’t quite exactly the feeling I am immersed in. It could be disappointment, I suppose. Is it too much to ask for a singular man to have interest in a singular lady? Is it too much to ask for True Love(TM)? I didn’t even ask for True […]

  • All For Naught.

    Nothing I do ever seems to matter. To anyone, anywhere. If it does, I am in the dark. I am alone and fumbling. Have you felt this, too, friend? I will light the way when I can, but for now I stumble and fall. I am hurting. So many kinds of hurting. I wish I […]

  • God’s Promise, Part One

    “Well, Nick, you finally did it. You made her fall in love with a man in a grocery deli. Congratulations! You lose the girl!!!!!” God declared, happy to finally move away from this toxic “gentleman.” A “man” who would starve her to try to make her lose weight. A “man” who would feed her that […]

  • I have seen Satan!

    “I have seen Satan!” she declared suddenly. God had just called someone that. You have to understand that in God’s world, Satan is a title. Just like God is a title. Well, in God’s case, it’s also her name. God smiled down at her child as she continued to speak. “He’s a short man who […]

  • In Sanity

    Perhaps you have noticed by now that I am always hijacked whenever I write. I have important, valuable ideas to share and suddenly we veer off into Never Never Land where Ben wants to kill me, boys want to rape me, and so on and so forth. Thus, this diary is written by at least […]