-
Nobody’s Good Because I Am Not Good
My cat is using my “pleasantly plump” belly as a pillow. D’awwwwww. Every so often, I gain some insight into humanity. It peeks through here or there. I believe I am to the point that improper logic is worse than having no logic. It’s how one arrives to a statement such as “Nobody’s good because…
-
Nicole is her name.
Nicole is her name. He tossed her off a fucking bridge. I really hate the lies that cross my mind, worming through from one metaphorical ear to the other. It’s him. He’s the leap year killer. Nobody knows he exists yet and you’re next! Yup. Thanks, brain. Thanks, humanity. Human beings are incredibly creative, I’ll…
-
Aging in Reverse
Now, I’ve seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button… it’s a lovely dissertation on Alzheimer’s Disease, if you ask me. It’s crap if that’s not what it’s supposed to be about, though. Sometimes, you’ve got to explore crap ideas to get better ones, though. True Science Fiction, that flick. It took one variable and altered…
-
Can I Quote You On That?
Yes, you may quote me on that! “You turned a predator into a sweetheart. You can do anything.” — God to Crystal
-
Espresso Psycho
Here I am, making my morning espresso… (It conserves water and that’s important, you know…) and I suddenly have the realization that when the life or death of another human being is put into someone else’s hands, a real human being will step back to let nature run its course instead. This should extrapolate to…
-
I need somebody to love.(TM)
As you might know, “I need somebody to love” is a line from Queen. I love Freddie Mercury in all his messed up show pony glory. I even have a Freddie hat, as I call it, encrusted with enormous bling. I’m not gay, but I could see how people would assume I am. I also…
-
Alkaline is Divine
Still struggling to feel amazing every day? Started drinking that mineral water yet? It’s a big, big help in my world. Huge. It brought my brain back online, but it wasn’t the silver bullet of health like I’d hoped for. Not with my father continuously poisoning me with dairy, anyway. As someone with an allergy…
-
Basic Human Diet
MEAT. ON THE FUCKING BONE. WITH THE SKIN ON. Slow roasted to tender perfection so that your brain and body light up like a Christmas tree as you chew it. That’s how you give thanks to the animal that sacrificed its life for you. MINERAL WATER. Purified water is medicine meant to leech out toxins…
-
Killing Candida
I have a minor headache. I have created some oregano oil. I am not a Barbie doll. I bought a live oregano plant from the grocery store and pinched off two thirds of the plant. I placed these Why is she talking about Barbie dolls? in soybean oil to marinate, essentially. This is medicine to…
-
I Am Job.
As in that Bible dude that gets shat on by an angel so hard that nobody really thinks about how heinous the “angel” is that decides to put him through these trivial trials. Forcing the poor man into retirement with very little to sustain himself and then beating him up verbally, trying to project one’s…
-
Re-roll?!
“What does it mean?” they say together with a speech impediment, sounding cutesy and dorky at the same time. Indeed, what does it mean? Obviously you’ve never played a tabletop role-playing game if you need an explanation. When your character dies (usually from making a grandiose mistake, but sometimes simply from terrible combat rolls), one…
-
Are You Afraid?
Are you afraid of acknowledging that you’re a flawed and imperfect being? God’s NOT! I, God, Lord of the Universe, am FLAWED. Thus, SO ARE YOU. Now get off your high horse and start scrubbing the floor. THE SEA FLOOR. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS RUINED MY OCEANS. Go on. What are you waiting for?
-
Mushrooms & Espresso
I’m still waiting on that espresso, she notes with a little sadness. I like hot drinks when I’m cold, so I’ve gone and made myself some hot water for steeping herbal tea. Two pots of espresso is enough caffeine in a day. It’s either four or six shots of strong coffee, which is the only…
-
The Psycho is Driving Here
God warned me multiple times that the insane asshole in my head was going to drive to where I live in the middle of April. He’s on his way right now. About 2:00 AM he will be driving around my house, looking for proof of my existence. He will drive around the address Google feeds…
-
Insane in the Membrane
I wish I was allowed to die now. God says I’ve done everything he asked of me, and yet I am still here. And the psychopath(TM) is still in my head, to boot, torturing me day in and day out. You know what just happened? I’ll tell you. I know you won’t believe me or…
-
Who Needs a Conscience?
People say psychopaths have no conscience. I don’t think that’s expressly true. I deleted mine, for the most part, and I have nothing to do with raping other beings. I have nothing to do with hurting anyone. If I do it, it’s an accident, and I apologize and make it as right as I possibly…
-
Odin’s Story 2
Odin was displeased, to say the least, that the feast was not cooked to perfection just yet. The rump roast began this journey frozen, as it were, and the two of them were on a journey to figure out exactly how many minutes you add to the formula when roasting a giant hunk of delicious…
-
Outlandish Dreaming
Julie’s pregnant and telling me all about the food she will eat and what she will feed the baby first, which is all food I cannot eat. Her and Justin are getting rid of all kinds of clutter. There are no children in this dream, I think this is her first pregnancy. I see bags…
-
Technomancer(TM) Leveling Up
I’m pondering purchasing this package: Humble Bundle’s Complete Pixel Art Online Course MEGA Bundle! It’s up for 9 more days so I’ve got time to decide. I already have a plethora of programs for putting together punchy video games, in sooth. I’ve not even learned the majority of them, but I have time. I have…
-
A Broken Heart Isn’t Enough
As I sit and do research for my next class offering on Udemy (well, my first, perhaps… I have six or seven in progress all at once. A.D.D. for the win!) I have no choice but to hear constant bull shit in my head as my ex, the rapist that he is, tries to combine…
-
Hate/Control
Has anyone ever tried to control you and what you do? It can be subtle, such as asking you to take a compromise that benefits them more than the relationship as a whole, but only by a little bit. It can be overt, too, such as, “Do this thing or I’m breaking up with you!”…
-
What is He Thinking?
Oh man, I love talking to this girl. She’s so warm and friendly. I think she likes me, so I hang around every break I can to talk to her. She makes me feel good about life again. I wish I wasn’t too shy to ask her out on a date. I should practice just…
-
Resentment is No Answer
Resentment is No Answer. But chuck roast might be. Something about this telepathy circus in my head is changing. Sometimes, I swear God is just putting me back through all that I experienced the first time to force me to evolve back into my Self(T.M.). I’m moving beyond the anger, perhaps by expressing anger where…
-
The Tao, Chapter 4
The Tao, Chapter 4 The Tao is like an empty container:it can never be emptied and can never be filled.Infinitely deep, it is the source of all things.It dulls the sharp, unties the knotted,shades the lighted, and unites all of creation with dust.It is hidden but always present.I don’t know who gave birth to it…
-
Turkey Day Reprise
GOD hijacks me again while I’m trying to explain psychological concepts and that Armageddon has arrived.
-
Invocation of Healing
I breathe in LightThrough the centre of my heartOpening my heartInto a beautiful ball of LightAllowing myself to expand. I breathe in LightThrough the centre of my heartAllowing the Light to expandEncompassing my throat chakraAnd my solar-plexus chakraIn one unified field of LightWithin, through, and around my body. I breathe in LightThrough the centre of…
-
Glamour.
“The only thing that could make me happier right now is some weed,” she heard as she came to a stop at a stop light traveling southbound on the main arterial roadway of the city. Moments later, she could smell cannabis. She was alone in her car, en route to the grocery store for her…
-
Absolute Insanity.
The boy stopped looking at me, and yet, at random intervals all day I see his face in my mind’s eye. I am totally focused on nothing but sorting out my podcasts and there he is… and I’m not even reading entries that feature him. I’m reading the ones God wrote as I publish. In…
-
Cleaning On An Empty Stomach
It seems like the only time I’m feeling good enough to get anything done is when I’m already hungry. In fact, I go into auto-pilot mode and start picking up, doing dishes, and so on, when I very clearly went into the kitchen to make something to eat. It’s because eating hurts, God tells her…
-
“I killed her!” she cried.
I hate being psychic and knowing more than I ought to. I have a heavy heart today. I tried to tell my friend she’s being raped by her husband. Her defense? He’s my husband. I wanted it. She told me she had sex for hours last night. I was thinking about how I was on…
-
God Complex
God started talking to me years ago. At first, I was confused, because he sounded just like me. Then, after a little while – after getting used to hearing things that didn’t come from me, myself – it changed. God started to use voices and inflection and lots of mixed metaphors and scrambled sentences. [God…
-
Anger in a Man’s World
As a woman, it is un-ladylike to show my disdain or my anger to the world. I am meant to sit by placidly while my boundaries are traversed by rapists who care not for my well-being. I am meant to be seen, not heard. I am meant to be silenced. Whenever I say something someone…
-
All For Naught.
Nothing I do ever seems to matter. To anyone, anywhere. If it does, I am in the dark. I am alone and fumbling. Have you felt this, too, friend? I will light the way when I can, but for now I stumble and fall. I am hurting. So many kinds of hurting. I wish I…
-
God’s Promise, Part One
“Well, Nick, you finally did it. You made her fall in love with a man in a grocery deli. Congratulations! You lose the girl!!!!!” God declared, happy to finally move away from this toxic “gentleman.” A “man” who would starve her to try to make her lose weight. A “man” who would feed her that…
-
I have seen Satan!
“I have seen Satan!” she declared suddenly. God had just called someone that. You have to understand that in God’s world, Satan is a title. Just like God is a title. Well, in God’s case, it’s also her name. God smiled down at her child as she continued to speak. “He’s a short man who…
-
God, Intergalactic Envoy
God’s been telling me that intelligent life exists beyond Earth for ages. So, since we constantly play guessing games over what’s going on, I asked God if she’s an intergalactic envoy. She was so tickled pink, she decided that I had to put it out there for someone else to write about. You’re welcome. In…
-
In Sanity
Perhaps you have noticed by now that I am always hijacked whenever I write. I have important, valuable ideas to share and suddenly we veer off into Never Never Land where Ben wants to kill me, boys want to rape me, and so on and so forth. Thus, this diary is written by at least…
-
Limbo
I’m a romantic. Without a job. It makes me feel like a loser. “You have a job,” God reminds me. Yeah, yeah. Write a book about rape and fornication so the rest of humanity understands, finally, where they’re going wrong. I get it. Do you get it yet, human bean? She waters the bean and…
-
The Frogs & The Ox
An Ox came down to a reedy pool to drink. As he splashed heavily into the water, he crushed a young Frog into the mud. The old Frog soon missed the little one and asked his brothers and sisters what had become of him. “A great big monster,” said one of them, “stepped on little…
-
She Likes Me!
If she didn’t like me, she wouldn’t have smiled at me, right? The power of the Mona Lisa smile. BEHOLD! It would be nice if the boy actually showed off that he liked me. Then I could almost believe this constant narrative in my head. He really wanted me to buy a slice of pizza,…
-
You May Notice a Pattern…
There is a pattern to the way I write this diary. You will notice it now that I point it out. I start trying to write something… anything… and eventually God hijacks whatever I’m saying to get His message out instead. It’s intentional, apparently, because I’ve created an algorithm for giving everyone telepathy and it’ll…
-
Insanity, Reprise
I am annoyed today. “That’s putting it mildly,” pipes up a catty voice. Yeah, well, you’d be annoyed, too, if you had to put up with you all day. Oh, wait. You do. That’s why you’re annoying. Got it. <Hits the ignore button on that voice.> Who’s next? Caitlyn! Oh, hello, Katie. Didn’t get enough…
-
So What Are We?
I have been wondering who I am for a while now. If I’m psychic and I’m receiving all the information from the people surrounding me… what part of this is actually me? He’s here again. The grey-eyed man. He’s thinking about me right now. He has been all day, on and off again. I can…
-
My Primordial Stench
I am marinating in my mild body odor, sitting here while I contemplate all that is, was, and ever will be. I’m not yet offensive in my own eyes, so it’s neither here nor there that I haven’t taken a shower yet. It’s 2:45 in the afternoon and I know I must wash myself and…
-
Open Therapy Reprise
This blog is my self-therapy, insights, sometimes memories, and so on. I know it won’t appeal to most people, but that’s not the purpose for it at all. It will also help you discover telepathy is real. It’ll explain things you never had an explanation for before. I hope with new understanding that you find…
-
ADITLO: Being an Ant/Ham Recipes
I’ve told my parents many times now that trying to eat expired food is a bad idea. Yet, they have things with 2013 as the year of expiry. Things in tin cans. Things in plastic jars. They have 19 tinned hams and will not let them go despite the year I found on them being…
-
I am the Code Cracker.
Reality is written in code. She gives you a moment to process your Matrix “whoa.” Everything — absolutely everything — revolves around unwritten rules. Before we knew what to call Gravity, we interacted with it every day. In fact, it’s friend in chief is Entropy, which we can observe as a small child tears a…
-
American Singles Awareness Day #1: Thanksgiving
You could have gone from the day after Valentine’s to Halloween single and not been as keenly aware of it as you would be on (US) Thanksgiving. I don’t know if this rings true for Canadian Thanksgiving, so forgive my ignorance. Today is a day of gluttony. We will eat until we cannot move, we…
-
Anthem for the White Woman
Helloween is here, my friends. Short, short skirts and low cut tops and bare arms. All when it’s about the right temperature to make my nipples hard enough to cut glass. I’d rather be warm, but I guarantee that every party will be full of women dressed as sluts because that’s what’s really scary, these…
-
Whore, Grief, Courtship
“Where is that whore,” he said, his voice laden with scorn. I heard this in my head today. Whore is not a word I’d typically use, though I know the meaning. SYNONYMS: strumpet, hustler, slut, tramp, escort, harlot, hooker, pro, prostitute, streetwalker, call girl, fallen woman, lady of the evening, working girl. Sex worker. Have…
-
Dear Grocery Girl,
It’s only been three days since we’ve made eye contact, but I miss you. I know I’ve never said hello or even told you my name, but I want to resolve that. I want to sweep you off your feet and make you my wife forever and ever, really, but I understand there are a…
-
A Day In the Life of…
It’s a typical day, y’all. Save world, get boy. There’s a lot of work to do to save the world, though, so I need your help. Think happy thoughts, just like Peter Pan. Your negativity is poisoning The Universe(TM) as we speak and He don’t like it. Peter Pan, obviously! No, wait. The Universe(TM). Brahma,…