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  • The Kind Rapist (4)

    “Wait! Wait, Sansara! Tell us how we can save ourselves!” she hears from the distant void, the aether. Why should I? You’ve known all along what you’ve been doing. You treated Gaia as if she was just something you could replace all along. Something I would give you a copy of once the End Times […]

  • The Kind Rapist (3)

    What is the next big adventure(TM)? All I can think of here is PeeWee’s Big Adventure, of course. Might I add that I believe Paul Reubens got a bad rap for no reason. First of all, even if he did what people said he did, no child would have known if a parent never spoke […]

  • The Kind Rapist (2)

    Modern medicine is, mostly, a sham. It’s designed to keep you paying money exponentially from birth to death. It’s not here to cure you of whatever the fuck ails you. It’s here to make it manageable until you die. Do you want to make it manageable until you die for free? Legalize pot. Marijuana. Weed. […]

  • The Kind Rapist

    When I was a wee lass, I remember thinking in desperation at some point that I’d rather be raped than alone. I’ve changed my mind, thanks to God. After suffering at the hands of an imbecile who thought being naked in the evening in the same bed meant touch me all over and have your […]

  • I’m Mad

    I spent two years chasing rainbows. I finally get to the end of the rainbow and all that’s there is a pile of dog shit. Thanks, Universe. I finally telepathically connect to another human being, cognizantly, and he has a girlfriend. What kind of joke is this, anyway? Whose line is it? Where are we? […]

  • You’d Think I’d Learn My Lesson

    And stop eating tomato. It really doesn’t feel that great on my intestines. If only marijuana was legal so I could smoke the pain away and keep killing myself one bite at a time. Hey silver fox tattooed dragon man… please don’t hurt yourself. I love you, too. I love everybody, especially the people who […]

  • Dance With Me, Moose

    Okay. I’m back, Bob. God told me the next topic I should speak about is penis envy. I guess average is about 6″ or so and about 1.5″ in diameter. (Suck it, you metric-using assholes. Use Google to figure it out.) However, in pornography, we often see unusually long or wide (or both), I have […]

  • Bob Berger was born and raised in Erie, PA

    And he’s a sadistic man bent on becoming a serial murderer, if he can only figure out how to do it right. If he was telepathic himself, he’d have the perfect way to elude non-telepathic individuals. But he’s not telepathic, thank our lucky stars. Instead, he’s pretty stupid. He’s pacing around his apartment, waiting with […]

  • When Life Begins Again

    Well, I just gave my bestest buddies in the whole world the instructions to inform the police of this blog if I should go missing on them. They don’t live in Erie, pal, so good luck tracking them down in INDIA and THE U.K. (Got a passport? I do.) Anyway, I’m here to tell you […]

  • Dear Suicidal One,

    I know you think you have nothing to live for anymore. It is only when you let go of what you are now that you can embrace what you will become. By accepting and letting go, you can enter your own metamorphosis. You are the butterfly once you emerge from your cocoon. I know you’ve […]