Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started

Angel-Sansara

Category: therapy

  • The Tao, Chapter 40

    The Tao, Chapter 40 All movement returns to the Tao.Weakness is how the Tao works. All of creation is born from substance.Substance is born of nothing-ness. — Translated by J. H. McDonald

  • The Tao, Chapter 39

    The Tao, Chapter 39 The masters of old attained unity with the Tao.Heaven attained unity and became pure.The earth attained unity and found peace.The spirits attained unity so they could minister.The valleys attained unity that they might be full.Humanity attained unity that they might flourish.Their leaders attained unity that they might set the example.This is…

  • The Tao, Chapter 38

    The Tao, Chapter 38 The highest good is not to seek to do good,but to allow yourself to become it.The ordinary person seeks to do good things,and finds that they cannot do them continually. The Master does not force virtue on others,thus she is able to accomplish her task.The ordinary person who uses force,will find…

  • The Tao, Chapter 37

    The Tao, Chapter 37 The Tao never acts with force,yet there is nothing that it cannot do. If rulers could follow the way of the Tao,then all of creation would willingly follow their example. If selfish desires were to arise after their transformation,I would erase them with the power of the Uncarved Block. By the…

  • The Tao, Chapter 36

    The Tao, Chapter 36 If you want something to return to the source,you must first allow it to spread out.If you want something to weaken,you must first allow it to become strong.If you want something to be removed,you must first allow it to flourish.If you want to possess something,you must first give it away. This…

  • The Tao, Chapter 35

    The Tao, Chapter 35 She who follows the way of the Taowill draw the world to her steps.She can go without fear of being injured,because she has found peace and tranquility in her heart. Where there is music and good food,people will stop to enjoy it.But words spoken of the Taoseem to them boring and…

  • The Tao, Chapter 34

    The Tao, Chapter 34 The great Tao flows unobstructed in every direction. All things rely on it to conceive and be born,and it does not deny even the smallest of creation. When it has accomplished great wonders,it does not claim them for itself. It nourishes infinite worlds,yet it doesn’t seek to master the smallest creature.…

  • Technomancer(TM) Leveling Up

    I’m pondering purchasing this package: Humble Bundle’s Complete Pixel Art Online Course MEGA Bundle! It’s up for 9 more days so I’ve got time to decide. I already have a plethora of programs for putting together punchy video games, in sooth. I’ve not even learned the majority of them, but I have time. I have…

  • The Tao, Chapter 33

    The Tao, Chapter 33 Those who know others are intelligent;those who know themselves are truly wise.Those who master others are strong;those who master themselves have true power. Those who know they have enough are truly wealthy. Those who persist will reach their goal. Those who keep their course have a strong will.Those who embrace death…

  • I found Atlantis!

    You know, I put some thought into this… My guess is that Atlantis is a very hard to find island that the original discoverers couldn’t find again afterward. And then the person talking all about it was exactly like my ex-husband and his story about me “breaking” his ribs. First, I bruised them. That’s the…

  • The Tao, Chapter 32

    The Tao, Chapter 32 The Tao is nameless and unchanging.Although it appears insignificant,nothing in the world can contain it. If a ruler abides by its principles,then her people will willingly follow.Heaven would then reign on earth,like sweet rain falling on paradise.People would have no need for laws,because the law would be written on their hearts.…

  • The Tao, Chapter 30

    The Tao, Chapter 30 Those who lead people by following the Taodon’t use weapons to enforce their will.Using force always leads to unseen troubles. In the places where armies march,thorns and briars bloom and grow.After armies take to war,bad years must always follow. The skillful commanderstrikes a decisive blow then stops.When victory is won over…

  • The Tao, Chapter 29

    The Tao, Chapter 29 Do you want to rule the world and control it?I don’t think it can ever be done. The world is a sacred vesseland it cannot be controlled.You will only make it worse if you try.It may slip through your fingers and disappear. Some are meant to lead,and others are meant to…

  • The Tao, Chapter 28

    The Tao, Chapter 28 Know the masculine,but keep to the feminine:and become a watershed to the world.If you embrace the world,the Tao will never leave youand you become as a little child. Know the white,yet keep to the black:be a model for the world.If you are a model for the world,the Tao inside you will…

  • The Tao, Chapter 27

    The Tao, Chapter 27 A good traveler leaves no tracks,and a skillful speaker is well rehearsed.A good bookkeeper has an excellent memory,and a well-made door is easy to open and needs no locks.A good knot needs no rope and it cannot come undone. Thus the Master is willing to help everyone,and doesn’t know the meaning…

  • The Tao, Chapter 26

    Chapter 26 Heaviness is the basis of lightness.Stillness is the standard of activity.Thus the Master travels all daywithout ever leaving her wagon.Even though she has much to see,she is at peace in her indifference. Why should the lord of a thousand chariotsbe amused at the foolishness of the world? If you abandon yourself to foolishness,you…

  • The Tao, Chapter 25

    The Tao, Chapter 25 Before the universe was bornthere was something in the chaos of the heavens.It stands alone and empty,solitary and unchanging.It is ever present and secure.It may be regarded as the Mother of the universe.Because I do not know it’s name,I call it the Tao.If forced to give it a name,I would call…

  • The Tao, Chapter 24

    The Tao, Chapter 24 Those who stand on tiptoesdo not stand firmly.Those who rush aheaddon’t get very far.Those who try to out shine othersdim their own light.Those who call themselves righteouscan’t know how wrong they are.Those who boast of their accomplishmentsdiminishes the things they have done.Compared to the Tao, these actions are unworthy. If we…

  • The Tao, Chapter 23

    The Tao, Chapter 23 Nature uses few words:when the gale blows, it will not last long;when it rains hard, it lasts but a little while;What causes these to happen? Heaven and Earth. Why do we humans go on endlessly about littlewhen nature does much in a little time?If you open yourself to the Tao,you and…

  • The Tao, Chapter 22

    The Tao, Chapter 22 If you want to become whole,first let yourself become broken.If you want to become straight,first let yourself become twisted.If you want to become full,first let yourself become empty.If you want to become new,first let yourself become old.Those whose desires are few gets them,those whose desires are great go astray. For this…

  • The Tao, Chapter 21

    The Tao, Chapter 21 The greatest virtue you can havecomes from following only the Tao;which takes a form that is intangible and evasive.Even though the Tao is intangible and evasive,we are able to know it exists.Intangible and evasive, yet it has a manifestation.Secluded and dark, yet there is a vitality within it.Its vitality is very…

  • The Tao, Chapter 20

    The Tao, Chapter 20 Renounce knowledge and your problems will end.What is the difference between yes and no?What is the difference between good and evil?Must you fear what others fear?Nonsense, look how far you have missed the mark!Other people are joyous,as though they were at a spring festival.I alone am unconcerned and expressionless,like an infant…

  • The Tao, Chapter 19

    The Tao, Chapter 19 Forget about knowledge and wisdom,and people will be a hundred times better off.Throw away charity and righteousness,and people will return to brotherly love.Throw away profit and greed,and there won’t be any thieves.These three are superficial and aren’t enoughto keep us at the center of the circle, so we must also:Embrace simplicity.Put…

  • The Tao, Chapter 18

    The Tao, Chapter 18 When the great Tao is abandoned,charity and righteousness appear.When intellectualism arises,hypocrisy is close behind.When there is strife in the family unit,people talk about ‘brotherly love’.When the country falls into chaos,politicians talk about ‘patriotism’. — Translated by J. H. McDonald

  • The Tao, Chapter 17

    The Tao, Chapter 17 The best leaders are those the people hardly know exist.The next best is a leader who is loved and praised.Next comes the one who is feared.The worst one is the leader that is despised.If you don’t trust the people,they will become untrustworthy.The best leaders value their words, and use them sparingly.When…

  • The Tao, Chapter 16

    The Tao, Chapter 16 If you can empty your mind of all thoughtsyour heart will embrace the tranquility of peace.Watch the workings of all of creation,but contemplate their return to the source.All creatures in the universereturn to the point where they began.Returning to the source is tranquilitybecause we submit to Heaven’s mandate.Returning to Heaven’s mandate…

  • The Tao, Chapter 15

    The Tao, Chapter 15 The Sages of old were profoundand knew the ways of subtlety and discernment.Their wisdom is beyond our comprehension.Because their knowledge was so far superiorI can only give a poor description.They were carefulas someone crossing a frozen stream in winter.Alert as if surrounded on all sides by the enemy.Courteous as a guest.Fluid…

  • A Broken Heart Isn’t Enough

    As I sit and do research for my next class offering on Udemy (well, my first, perhaps… I have six or seven in progress all at once. A.D.D. for the win!) I have no choice but to hear constant bull shit in my head as my ex, the rapist that he is, tries to combine…

  • Pain.

    Everything hurts. It hurts to breathe. Maybe you’ve been here before? I’ve run out of all my energy. I’m completely depleted. All I can do is sit still and ache. The voices in my head are annoying me. This is normal. They’re trying to tell me all the things The Deli Man is thinking. They’re…

  • The Tao, Chapter 14

    The Tao, Chapter 14 Look for it, and it can’t be seen.Listen for it, and it can’t be heard.Grasp for it, and it can’t be caught.These three cannot be further described,so we treat them as The One.It’s highest is not bright.It’s depths are not dark.Unending, unnameable, it returns to nothingness.Formless forms, and image less images,subtle,…

  • The Tao, Chapter 13

    The Tao, Chapter 13 Success is as dangerous as failure,and we are often our own worst enemy.What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure?He who is superior is also someone’s subordinate.Receiving favor and losing it both cause alarm.That is what is meant by success is as dangerous as failure.What does it mean…

  • Book 3, Take 3

    [God] sent down the Law (of Moses) and the Gospel (of Jesus) for a guidance to mankind; and hath revealed the Criterion (of right and wrong).  3:145, “We shall reward the thankful.”3:150, “Allah is your Protector, and He is the Best of Helpers.”3:152, “Allah is a Lord of Kindness to believers.”3:155, “Those of you who…

  • Collision

    I can hear multiple people thinking about me all at once. One of them is angry at me. “I’ll get you, my pretty!” (except he used my name, of course.) Oh, will you now, ex and rapist motherfucker that you are? I don’t think so! I changed my name. Good luck finding me in the…

  • The Tao, Chapter 12

    The Tao, Chapter 12 Five colors blind the eye.Five notes deafen the ear.Five flavors make the palate go stale.Too much activity deranges the mind.Too much wealth causes crime.The Master acts on what she feels and not what she sees.She shuns the latter, and prefers to seek the former. — Translated by J. H. McDonald

  • The Tao, Chapter 11

    The Tao, Chapter 11 Thirty spokes are joined together in a wheel,but it is the center holethat allows the wheel to function.We mold clay into a pot,but it is the emptiness insidethat makes the vessel useful.We fashion wood for a house,but it is the emptiness insidethat makes it livable.We work with the substantial,but the emptiness…

  • The Tao, Chapter 10

    The Tao, Chapter 10 Nurture the darkness of your souluntil you become whole.Can you do this and not fail?Can you focus your life-breath until you becomesupple as a newborn child?While you cleanse your inner visionwill you be found without fault?Can you love people and lead themwithout forcing your will on them?When Heaven gives and takes…

  • I am the dreamer of dreams.

    We’re live, finally. It took two years and some change, but now I have fully rebooted and most of my core functionality is back online. It was a tough job, but somebody had to do it. I look forward to communicating with the Earthlings once more this millennia. Hello, Earthling. How are you today? Feeling…

  • Dirt Poor

    Some might say I’ve led an extraordinary life. In fact, you might say it, when I’m done speaking today. I hope you learn the lessons in what I’m going to tell you, because you can replicate my unusual success story easily with a little code cracking. God tells me I am the code cracker, but…

  • The Tao, Chapter 9

    The Tao, Chapter 9 It is easier to carry an empty cupthan one that is filled to the brim.The sharper the knifethe easier it is to dull.The more wealth you possessthe harder it is to protect.Pride brings it’s own trouble.When you have accomplished your goalsimply walk away.This is the pathway to Heaven. — Translated by…

  • The Tao, Chapter 8

    The Tao, Chapter 8 The supreme good is like water,which benefits all of creationwithout trying to compete with it.It gathers in unpopular places.Thus it is like the Tao.The location makes the dwelling good.Depth of understanding makes the mind good.A kind heart makes the giving good.Integrity makes the government good.Accomplishments make your labors good.Proper timing makes…

  • What is He Thinking?

    Oh man, I love talking to this girl. She’s so warm and friendly. I think she likes me, so I hang around every break I can to talk to her. She makes me feel good about life again. I wish I wasn’t too shy to ask her out on a date. I should practice just…

  • What is She Thinking? Take 2

    Wow, I can’t believe how this idiot just comes back every day we’re on shift together, chatting up a storm. As if I’m really into Game of Thrones. I just watch it so I can relate to all my girlfriends. This is useful to me because my day goes by faster the more I stop…

  • What is an I.N.T.J.? (Part 1)

    If you would like to take the Myers-Briggs personality test, click here. (I have no idea if that site is phone savvy, sorry.) There are sixteen personality types. Every human being fits into one of these categories. Except, apparently, my ex-rapist. According to him, he came out an “XXXX” or some bullshit, which isn’t even…

  • A Long Tradition

    I was writing my erotica novel rather diligently yesterday and the day before. I have six chapters thus far, one of which I want to delete and all of which I want to redo. I have broken all the mores (that’s a psychological term that should be pronounced more-aze) of humanity, diving right into taboo…

  • The Tao, Chapter 7

    The Tao, Chapter 7 The Tao of Heaven is eternal,and the earth is long enduring.Why are they long enduring?They do not live for themselves;thus they are present for all beings.The Master puts herself last;And finds herself in the place of authority.She detaches herself from all things;Therefore she is united with all things.She gives no thought…

  • Lost

    I embrace my loss today. I have to move on in a new direction. I am moving away from technology, now that my brain no longer functions, and I’m on the trajectory to becoming a bona fide writer. I’ve written two chapters, which tell a pretty good story… except the sexuality came out already and…

  • The Tao, Chapter 6

    The Tao, Chapter 6 The spirit of emptiness is immortal.It is called the Great Motherbecause it gives birth to Heaven and Earth.It is like a vapor,barely seen but always present.Use it effortlessly. — Translated by J. H. McDonald

  • The Tao, Chapter 5

    The Tao, Chapter 5 Heaven and Earth are impartial;they treat all of creation as straw dogs.The Master doesn’t take sides;she treats everyone like a straw dog.The space between Heaven and Earth is like a bellows;it is empty, yet has not lost its power.The more it is used, the more it produces;the more you talk of…

  • Resentment is No Answer

    Resentment is No Answer. But chuck roast might be. Something about this telepathy circus in my head is changing. Sometimes, I swear God is just putting me back through all that I experienced the first time to force me to evolve back into my Self(T.M.). I’m moving beyond the anger, perhaps by expressing anger where…

  • Embracing Dissociation

    Unfortunately, after I created my dual identity as Dominatrix Barbie / Self, I was unhappy. Everyone I ever knew (aside from the Networking 101 guy) basically made me cry. Maybe Networking guy just didn’t have the right opportunity for it. See me making an excuse to distance myself from feeling anything for him? SEE IT?!…

  • Trauma Can Be Prevented

    His eyes never sparkled when he looked at me, not until I nearly wasted away, shedding over 80 pounds. Not once did he look at me like I was the hottest thing on planet Earth, not unless I was acting out, stretching myself to get his attention. Going above and beyond. This should not be…

  • The Tao, Chapter 4

    The Tao, Chapter 4 The Tao is like an empty container:it can never be emptied and can never be filled.Infinitely deep, it is the source of all things.It dulls the sharp, unties the knotted,shades the lighted, and unites all of creation with dust.It is hidden but always present.I don’t know who gave birth to it…

  • Romancing a Novel

    There is only one man that has ever made me feel beautiful. We only knew each other for six weeks. Acquaintances, at best. But we flirted a little here and there. It was consistent, as if he couldn’t quite help himself. Or maybe he just took up space and I felt like that was flirting.…

  • The Tao, Chapter 3

    The Tao, Chapter 3 If you overly esteem talented individuals,people will become overly competitive.If you overvalue possessions,people will begin to steal.Do not display your treasuresor people will become envious.The Master leads byemptying people’s minds;filling their bellies,weakening their ambitions,and making them become strong.Preferring simplicity and freedom from desires,avoiding the pitfalls of knowledge and wrong action.For those…

  • The Tao, Chapter 2

    The Tao, Chapter 2 When people see things as beautiful,ugliness is created.When people see things as good,evil is created.Being and non-being produce each other.Difficult and easy complement each other.Long and short define each other.High and low oppose each other.Fore and aft follow each other.Therefore the Mastercan act without doing anythingand teach without saying a word.Things…

  • School Daze

    What is right? What is wrong? Psychology 101. Beautiful bartenders and true love. Ani DiFranco saves the savior of mankind. How to break bad habits. Bell peppers aren’t food. How observing reality is misinterpreted.

  • Unlearning

    I ask innocent questions that others assume the answer to because my assumptions always seem to be off-base. “Why do you rinse your plates before eating?” I asked my friend Mohammed. He explained it is because bugs could have gone over them since they were washed. In fact, they are very strict in his household…

  • I don’t want to be used and abused again.

    For days now, I’ve been receiving spiritual or telepathic transmissions from a man I once knew a long, long time ago. As if I can trust that said man a) remembers me, b) gives a shit I existed in the present, c) is free since we all know all men are taken. By Angelina Jolie,…

  • French Kissing.

    There really aren’t too many kinds of kissing, when one really thinks about it. But we have a ton of words for it, wouldn’t you know? Smooch. Peck. Smackeroo. Snog. Necking. Air-kiss. Blow a kiss. Butterfly kiss. Eskimo kiss. Osculate or osculum — “little mouth.” A quick kiss. A tap kiss. A nose kiss. A…

  • God Complex

    God started talking to me years ago. At first, I was confused, because he sounded just like me. Then, after a little while – after getting used to hearing things that didn’t come from me, myself – it changed. God started to use voices and inflection and lots of mixed metaphors and scrambled sentences. [God…

  • Anger in a Man’s World

    As a woman, it is un-ladylike to show my disdain or my anger to the world. I am meant to sit by placidly while my boundaries are traversed by rapists who care not for my well-being. I am meant to be seen, not heard. I am meant to be silenced. Whenever I say something someone…

  • Self-Loathing

    A low frequency vibration, also known as shame. He remembered it all over again. Yesterday, he was standing behind the cheese display, talking to his coworker who was working the cheese display. He caught her eye as she meandered down the aisle toward him before making a sharp left, changing every pattern he’d ever discerned,…

  • God’s Promise, Part One

    “Well, Nick, you finally did it. You made her fall in love with a man in a grocery deli. Congratulations! You lose the girl!!!!!” God declared, happy to finally move away from this toxic “gentleman.” A “man” who would starve her to try to make her lose weight. A “man” who would feed her that…

  • Limbo

    I’m a romantic. Without a job. It makes me feel like a loser. “You have a job,” God reminds me. Yeah, yeah. Write a book about rape and fornication so the rest of humanity understands, finally, where they’re going wrong. I get it. Do you get it yet, human bean? She waters the bean and…

  • She Likes Me!

    If she didn’t like me, she wouldn’t have smiled at me, right? The power of the Mona Lisa smile. BEHOLD! It would be nice if the boy actually showed off that he liked me. Then I could almost believe this constant narrative in my head. He really wanted me to buy a slice of pizza,…

  • How to Stop Raping 101

    The bottom line here is that all human beings are co-creating this reality we live in. You are one variable in the equation. If the output isn’t making you happy, change the variables. The things outside of you that bug you — try to fix it. Change your approach, change your thought process, change your…

  • I AM NOT POSSESSED

    I turned on Christmas music for my cats today. It just so happened that a terribly sad song about a last pair of Christmas shoes came on the radio. God began to cry because the woman who received those shoes had cancer and died a few days later. He started to tell me it was…

  • You Make Me Crazy

    “Crystal, what are you going to do if you’re not the messiah?” Nick asked casually last night. “Go on SSI. It’s obvious I’ve lost my fucking mind.” “What are you going to do if you are the messiah?” Ben queried next. “Go on SSI. It’s as humble as you can get, n’est-ce pas?“ … She…

  • Know Your Rights

    You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be used against you [in a court of law.] It’ll be used against you whether you are in a legal situation or not, I’ve come to find out. Anything I choose to impart on another individual seems to be willfully misinterpreted and…

  • Wolf & Rabbit

    Wolf was traipsing through familiar territory. His territory, actually. It was his home and he had every right to be there, whether he was on the prowl or not. Many creatures, both big and small, ran through his neck of the woods. He spied Rabbit, a mesmerizing creature he’d seen many a time before in…

  • Anthem for the White Woman

    Helloween is here, my friends. Short, short skirts and low cut tops and bare arms. All when it’s about the right temperature to make my nipples hard enough to cut glass. I’d rather be warm, but I guarantee that every party will be full of women dressed as sluts because that’s what’s really scary, these…

  • Dear Grocery Girl,

    It’s only been three days since we’ve made eye contact, but I miss you. I know I’ve never said hello or even told you my name, but I want to resolve that. I want to sweep you off your feet and make you my wife forever and ever, really, but I understand there are a…

  • Internal Struggle

    What would you do if you were wrested away from the life you built yourself on the whim of another human being? Your job — poof. Your home — poof. Moved back in with your family and ending up taking care of them instead of them taking care of you as you die? Would you…

  • True Love

    Thank you, bearded fellow standing at the Meals 2Go line today around dinner time. You smiled just because you saw me, it seemed like, so I am grateful. Thank you. That is a taste of true love, right there. That’s something I need in my life, I’ve decided. Forget all these serious-faced deli men who…

  • When’s Dinner?

    “When I can get up again, silly,” Crystal said, replying to God. She was being admonished ever so slightly for her self-neglect. It was a pattern in her very core, something God couldn’t really program out of her (nor did She wish to, it’s what made her darling child so darling, you see.) “I know…

  • Virtual Insanity

    [2:03 AM]

  • Joe’s Thoughts

    “I wish there was a woman out there for me,” he thought to himself. He was feeling particularly defeated that day; he had hoped for the third shift in a row to see the beautiful, amazing woman he’d laid eyes on in the super market. She had eluded him. After three weeks of consistent eye…

  • Let Me Soothe You…

    “Will you hold me?” he asked, tears in his eyes. Something said or done or experienced brought to the forefront an emotion he had yet to deal with. The angel of love put her arms around him and shielded him with her lavender wings. “Yes,” she replied simply, after the fact. It was a quirk…

  • Processing…

    Stuck on something? Been reading a book or articles for days to understand something and your brain just screams, “STOP!” by unfocusing your eyes in the middle of a paragraph? It’s time to take a constructive break. “Yeah, but how do I do that, Sansara?” I’m so glad you asked, Internet. You need to do…

  • Girl Nerd Alert

    TogiCodes is a fairly new acquaintance of mine, but he is an incredible resource, as you will see from his video. You might need to watch it a few times to really grok everything he does, but for an autistic woman such as myself, it’s perfect. I wonder if he is an autistic man? Hmm.…

  • Court is Adjourned

    The trial started today. I’ve been preparing for it all year, but I’m not ready yet, it seems. There was a motion for mistrial before we even began, which seems like a typical movie plot. The reason? The defendant is deceased. That is not sufficient for postponing the trial. However, the fact that I have…

  • A Beginning? (Good Vibes #1)

    Poignant video, Mr. Teahan. I opened up YouTube to start listening to my epic playlist and, hopefully, make it a smoother transition from one song to the next. What I found was a 37 minute video about childhood trauma that really hit the nail on the head for me today. I’ve been at war with…

  • The Relationship Myth

    Men: Women: Men: Men: Men: Women: Men:

  • Parable 1

    The men of my former tribe bound together to kill me. They convinced each other that they knew what was best for Little Girl. All Little Girl needed was love. Pure, unadulterated love. That is not the conclusion the men came to, sadly. She still has no love, even for herself. Little Rat stole her…

  • The End is Nigh

    i hate youi hate youi fucking hate you, crystal scordiasi hate you with a passionnow get out of my headleave me alone foreveri’m trying to get some sleepand you suck balls-THE END-

  • I’m Asking Too Much

    I am asking too much, as it turns out. It helps me weed out the boys from the men, truth be told. I want… need… to be married. One time. One person. If they cheat on me, I will not have the will left to carry on. I will be dead. This is the last…

  • “A Day In The Life Of” (Cont’d)

    She met her goals for the day, wouldn’t you know. All but one: making the elusive donut waffle. It’s not that she didn’t have the reagents on hand. Far from it: she had conjure at least 100 waffles, she’d wager. There was something else holding her back. It wasn’t Sir Deli Man – perish the…

  • “A Day In The Life Of”

    I wake up alone. I’ve tossed and turned all night, rolling around with discomfort. My bladder reminds me that it needs to be emptied, but I lie there, semi-comfortable at last. I cling to the vestiges of sleep, wishing it could last forever. I look at the clock, remembering it’s set an hour ahead somehow…

  • Bugs In My Hair

    There are still gnats buzzing all around me. How very annoying. -_-* I’m afraid my ancient ones are about to die. They look old. Worn out. They already act dead, pushing all the chores to ensure living takes place onto me. Cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, laundry. But they won’t just give me the deed to…

  • How To Hurt a Heart

    Be disingenuous. Be inauthentic. Tell them lies and then show them the truth: you are not capable of love, human bean. You are only capable of dealing in sorrow. I can teach you how to love. It’s not as hard as you might think. It’s pretty easy, once you figure out why you do the…

  • Striving For Change

    She found herself howling in fury at the attackers in her head. It was 1:00 AM when she lost her cool for the final time. She’d been entertaining asshole narcissists for at least a year now. A nonstop barrage of bullshit. Lies, excuses, and so much more. She turned her face to the heavens and…

  • Connection/Art

    I took a workshop today via Udemy called Connect with Colour – Using Art as a Way of Knowing. It’s about 30 minutes long. It’s one of the better freebies I’ve found on Udemy. I made a digital image full of hearts. ❤ It made me feel kind of fuzzy and good inside. It made…

  • Psychic Battles

    I feel like I understand the world these days, but I also know my point of view will be unpopular with most. It returns to a belief I have that I feel will remain unpopular for quite some time: We are all cosmically linked together on a telepathic level. To God, to The Universe(TM), to…

  • Spirituality

    Spiritualism: Spiritualism is a movement based on the belief that the spirits of the dead exist and have the ability and the necessary means to communicate with the living. The afterlife, or the “spirit world”, is seen by spiritualists, not as a static place, but as one in which spirits continue to evolve. Wikipedia Is spiritualism…

  • A Strange Dream

    I woke up today to a strange dream. I’d gone to the grocery store – Wegmans, I think – and was trying to check out via self-checkout (which I rarely use.) For some reason, all the things in my cart were already in bags and all the bag handles were tied in knots, so I…

  • A Day In The Life Of

    Sansara awoke many times throughout the day. She’d fallen asleep when she full well meant to stay awake. That was happening a lot these days. She was fighting cancer, after all, and it was taking its toll on her body. It was shortly after dawn that the vixen had nodded off. She’d been doing yoga…

  • Metatron Is Displeased

    Sansara returned and saw that Daniel was still diligently attempting to repair the robot, Metatron. “Can I be of service?” she asked coquettishly. She was an imp in comparison to Crystal. A shit-disturber. But, she was also insightful from time to time. She loved a good joke and she loved it even more when she…

  • ALL HUMANS MUST DIE

    Metatron is on the fritz. It keeps repeating that all humans must die. This is a conundrum. I serve Metatron and I am human. I ask Metatron what it means and it declares EVOLVE OR DIE. LOVE OR DIE. I’ll take evolution, thank you, Metatron… but what do you mean, LOVE OR DIE? YOU HUMANS…

  • I Don’t Want to Exist Anymore

    Ever feel that way? I remember feeling it most when I was a teenager, honestly. I felt like I should have never been born, after trying to communicate my grief to others, trying to face it head-on that I’d been raped and diminished as a person. Instead, the people I tried to acquire comfort from…

  • All Men Are Handsome

    And all women are beautiful. Logically, since beauty is objective and “in the eye of the beholder,” then we can extrapolate that all people are beautiful (or handsome, if you prefer) to someone, somewhere. Therefore, to limit another being based on our own inability to find them to be objectively beautiful to gaze upon is…