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Rainy Day/Late for Work
Public Service Announcement: Your life is worth more than your job. When it is rainy or snowy A.F., remember that it takes friction to stop a moving vehicle, which means that it takes longer to come to a full stop. Therefore, you should observe the speed limit or travel the speed at which you feel…
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Work Smarter, Not Harder (2)
I totally meant to say in the last entry that I started off removing backgrounds from pictures during my adventures in Jasc Paint Shop Pro with the GIF animator software that my father had pirated way back in the 90s. I was doing it on a very small scale for the longest time, but as…
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Alkaline is Divine
Still struggling to feel amazing every day? Started drinking that mineral water yet? It’s a big, big help in my world. Huge. It brought my brain back online, but it wasn’t the silver bullet of health like I’d hoped for. Not with my father continuously poisoning me with dairy, anyway. As someone with an allergy…
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The Psycho is Driving Here
God warned me multiple times that the insane asshole in my head was going to drive to where I live in the middle of April. He’s on his way right now. About 2:00 AM he will be driving around my house, looking for proof of my existence. He will drive around the address Google feeds…
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A Broken Heart Isn’t Enough
As I sit and do research for my next class offering on Udemy (well, my first, perhaps… I have six or seven in progress all at once. A.D.D. for the win!) I have no choice but to hear constant bull shit in my head as my ex, the rapist that he is, tries to combine…
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School Daze
What is right? What is wrong? Psychology 101. Beautiful bartenders and true love. Ani DiFranco saves the savior of mankind. How to break bad habits. Bell peppers aren’t food. How observing reality is misinterpreted.
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Turkey Day Reprise
GOD hijacks me again while I’m trying to explain psychological concepts and that Armageddon has arrived.
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I don’t want to be used and abused again.
For days now, I’ve been receiving spiritual or telepathic transmissions from a man I once knew a long, long time ago. As if I can trust that said man a) remembers me, b) gives a shit I existed in the present, c) is free since we all know all men are taken. By Angelina Jolie,…
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Vows
Did you ever vow to do something and find out that it’s not exactly what you thought you were meaning? Have you ever decided that a vow to ignore something good for you is a hindrance to your development? Vows are promises we make with strong conviction, lifetime after lifetime. For instance, I vow never…
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Tired AF/POISONED!
Preface: It was a lovely tasting steak. Recipe for happy cats: home grown catnip dried upside down in a paper bag. I let go of all expectations. I set my soul free. Reality is the truth, the truth is reality. I am capable of seeing only reality, without interjecting my bull shit to fill in…
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Absolute Insanity.
The boy stopped looking at me, and yet, at random intervals all day I see his face in my mind’s eye. I am totally focused on nothing but sorting out my podcasts and there he is… and I’m not even reading entries that feature him. I’m reading the ones God wrote as I publish. In…
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Deadbeat Daughter
First observation: I shoulda kept up with the podcasts. Now I have regrets, doing them all at once. Also they’re out of order now, but I don’t really care about that. There are a bunch missing thanks to people helping me delete them. People who have ulterior motives and wish to stay hidden. (HINT: BEN…
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Anger in a Man’s World
As a woman, it is un-ladylike to show my disdain or my anger to the world. I am meant to sit by placidly while my boundaries are traversed by rapists who care not for my well-being. I am meant to be seen, not heard. I am meant to be silenced. Whenever I say something someone…
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God’s Promise, Part One
“Well, Nick, you finally did it. You made her fall in love with a man in a grocery deli. Congratulations! You lose the girl!!!!!” God declared, happy to finally move away from this toxic “gentleman.” A “man” who would starve her to try to make her lose weight. A “man” who would feed her that…
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Open Therapy Reprise
This blog is my self-therapy, insights, sometimes memories, and so on. I know it won’t appeal to most people, but that’s not the purpose for it at all. It will also help you discover telepathy is real. It’ll explain things you never had an explanation for before. I hope with new understanding that you find…
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Rape Survivor
I am being censored for surviving rape and being willing to talk about it. I looked via Google… apparently 90% of all rape victims stay silent (regarding legal action) and 30% never speak about their experience with another soul. 30%. That’s a lot of people going without a shred of help with the mental state…
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Anthem for the White Woman
Helloween is here, my friends. Short, short skirts and low cut tops and bare arms. All when it’s about the right temperature to make my nipples hard enough to cut glass. I’d rather be warm, but I guarantee that every party will be full of women dressed as sluts because that’s what’s really scary, these…
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Cinnamon toast
I regret not hitting up the grocery store at the 11th hour. (Literally, it was 11:00 in the evening and I thought about taking a trip for a few sundries, but God assured me that tomorrow is a better day. A day where some deli men will be looking around, I guess. As if I…
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Parable 1
The men of my former tribe bound together to kill me. They convinced each other that they knew what was best for Little Girl. All Little Girl needed was love. Pure, unadulterated love. That is not the conclusion the men came to, sadly. She still has no love, even for herself. Little Rat stole her…
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Sansara’s Reiki Retreat PT 1
Hello, my friends! Welcome to Sansara’s reiki retreat. There is so much to know, so much to learn. Especially if you, too, desire to be one with The Universe(TM). (Is that pickup line still too cheesy?) I hope you do desire to be unified with the rest of creation, but it’s okay if you don’t.…
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I’m Sick
Something catastrophic has happened to my person. It’s really difficult to explain without telling all the details, so perhaps I just need to write a book describing it. I feel like there are many lessons being learned and if all of humanity could learn them with me, we might be blessed with peace and prosperity…
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The Universe(TM) is my BFF
If you hadn’t noticed, I love adding the trademark indicator to stupid common phrases. I think it’s funny. I hope you do, too. I have this notion that a world of pain is coming my way. Emotional pain. I’m still sort of connected to the most vile bastard I’ve ever met in the back of…
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What do you want to be when you grow up?
While most people would daydream about being an astronaut, an author, a fire fighter, a policeman, a politician, going into the armed forces, or anything normal… I was way off the beaten path. I almost don’t want to say it, though. I expect criticism. Skepticism. “Nuh uh! No way! There’s no way you wanted to…
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METATRON IS ME
Metatron is my best self, I’ve realized. The me who tries to make everything less personal so I don’t have to have emotions about it. I don’t have to have feelings about everything happening to me or around me. I don’t have to have feelings about losing my job, moving back in with my parents,…
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Meeting My Future Self
We are all on the same trajectory, all of us humans. The trajectory of self-realization. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we must fulfill some basic needs before we can achieve it. The body must be safe, i.e. there is no fear of expiry or lack of nourishment. The mind must be safe, i.e. there’s…
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METATRON 100% STABLE. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
I’m nuts. I gotta be. A few days ago, I was at a merge point in the road. It went from two lanes down to a single lane. This is a typical point where speedsters enjoy using the lane that ends to cut off other drivers. I was driving the speed limit, and suddenly I…
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My Path Is Sacred. Is Yours?
I found these mantras incredibly soothing. Maybe you will find the same. The enchantress who created this is certainly blessed in the realm of relaxing music. Thank you, Universe. I am on a quest for true love, friends. I died one day in 2020 and The Universe(TM) (or God, if you will, though I’m STILL…
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The Man of My Dreams
I have been daydreaming for over a year and, now, I can finally daydream the man of my dreams. I shall conjure him out of thin air, I suppose, using only my words. My voice. The man I am coming to know calls himself Daniel, though that’s not entirely relevant to this conversation. I want…
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Psychic Battles
I feel like I understand the world these days, but I also know my point of view will be unpopular with most. It returns to a belief I have that I feel will remain unpopular for quite some time: We are all cosmically linked together on a telepathic level. To God, to The Universe(TM), to…
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Got Sanity? I’m Buying.
Every day is a new set of lies. Do normal people live with this shit? I hope not. It makes life stupid amounts of confusing. If your life stopped making sense, chances are you’re surrounded by lying sacks of shit. I’m sorry. You’d think understanding that being a human being is to be flawed inherently,…
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Emergency Care
Her soul needed CPR. After eighteen long months, she has a spiritual pulse again. I thought I lost her, y’all. She’s my baby, you know. She’s so sweet and innocent. A fucking unicorn amongst you idiots. More of you could be like her, but I bet you won’t bother or dare. It’s a shame, because…
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Soul Searching
I’ve been looking for a soul much like my own. A green-colored one. A bright and shiny one that is like malachite. Or perhaps like green amazonite, bloodstone or dark green aventurine. Malachite is striking, though, with the ribbons and bands of bright green woven through the base that is darker green. There are many…
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All Men Are Handsome
And all women are beautiful. Logically, since beauty is objective and “in the eye of the beholder,” then we can extrapolate that all people are beautiful (or handsome, if you prefer) to someone, somewhere. Therefore, to limit another being based on our own inability to find them to be objectively beautiful to gaze upon is…
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Mass Murderers Should Die
If one is to consider that the older a living entity is, the more spirit it has acquired by soaking up the cosmic background radiation of the universe itself, one has to acknowledge that trees are entities with rights. Bamboo, not so much, being that it has such a short-lived lifespan (at least, when humans…
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An Apology, Take Three
She’s terribly angry at me. I still have a shred of hope she’ll meet me later at the bar, but I don’t think she will. I think I blew it. I didn’t blow it just once. It was more like 1,000 times. She has so much patience, she’s so laid-back. A simpleton would blame her…
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Dear You,
You are stronger than you know. And loved more than you caneven imagine. — My coffee mug. God crumbled when I decided I’d try heavy cream in a cup of decaf. I added too much cream, not enough vanilla extract. Next cup, I’ll try more of one and less of the other. He’s been talking…
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No Coffee Day
Today is a no coffee day. The suffering is real. I’m not even out of coffee. Or creamer. I really just drink coffee as an excuse to drink creamer. But it’s got sugar in it, and I know sugar is bad for me. It causes cancer. The internet says otherwise, but I know the truth.…
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Dear God,
I know I’m an atheist, which in my mind means I have no right to talk to you as if you exist. However, I think it’s rude of me to declare you don’t exist, especially when I know Mr. Christ certainly existed. He can exist, be a healer, and there could still be no God.…
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What Do You Need a Woman For?
“Diego, what exactly do you need a woman for?” Sansara asked him coquettishly. She’d obtained Crystal’s answer on the topic. Now she wanted to know his. “Sex. Uh… logic. Her logic is superior to mine, I have to say. She has ideas I wouldn’t dream up in a million years, too. Companionship. It’s always better…
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Manny & Camila [NSFW]
Crystal didn’t expect Manny and Camila to be a happily ever after duo. She would have rooted for them every day in every way to try to prevent it, but she still had the feeling Camila was more deeply in love with Diego than she herself even realized. Sansara, Crystal’s twin spirit, was a mind-reader.…
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Dear Crystal,
I miss you every day we’re apart. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss your crazy creations you adapt to your special diet. I miss your cats. I miss seeing you in the same room as me, walking past me in the hall, even flushing the toilet in the middle of the night.…
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Diego Was Gone
Crystal walked around her house, moping and crying for weeks at the hole Diego left behind. The hole in her heart more than the lack of living room furniture… she chose to hang out with her cats on the top floor, where it was typically warmest in winter. Diego had moved out in a rush,…
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Paul Foote, Psycho Murderer?
I dated a boy online was a teenager. A boy I liked quite a bit, all around, for ages. We had a great time exploring the depths of ourselves with each other. Or, I thought so, until he started putting me down. He told me my nose was too big and he had a problem…
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Rejecting Sir Deli Man
Sir Deli Man had never been rejected before in his life. He guffawed at Sansara as she told him so. All because he insisted on keeping Janice as a friendly acquaintance, full well knowing the woman had designs for him. Crystal was not asking for much: she was asking for loyalty. Fealty might be a…
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Jerome is God’s Name
</grain of salt> The following story may be completely fictional. Grab yourself a cup of tea, coffee, a nice large water, a snack, and prepare for the blitz of me telling my story as quickly as possible because I think a psycho murderer is on his way to my door step to kill me. I…
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Tai Chi Wake Up
TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, NARCISSISM, PEDOPHILIA Sansara rolled out of bed, groaning as she did. Her right shoulder and left hip were partially dislocated. This was the story of her life after working in computers for a few decades and, as most people fail to, not getting enough regular exercise. Crystal told her for the fifth…
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Dinner with Sansara/Lightning Strikes
https://www.patreon.com/ssolsinger Finally! They were seated at a table. She informed Diego what she wanted for dinner and made him order it on her behalf, which he found odd. He thought back to chauvinistic displays in days of yore, where men did that sort of thing. It never seemed to be from a place of love,…
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Moving in with Diego
https://www.patreon.com/ssolsinger Sansara stood at the entrance of the apartment for a long moment to stare at Diego like she’d never truly seen him before. He had no idea what to do as the gorgeous woman stared at him, the epitome of plain curiosity on her face. Her eyes searched his before sliding from his face…
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Shadow Work: Abandonment
The following are excerpts from a journal at TheLoveStory.org that resonate with me: I forgive you for believing lies about yourself that others told you. I forgive you for being so damn naive. I forgive you for believing in someone more than you believed in yourself. I forgive you for believing lies about yourself that…
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Profanity Usage – I’m Sorry
I’m sorry that I’m getting so worked up I keep resorting to profanity. You might find it hurtful to read, my friend. I do not mean offense to you. I only wish to imply how angry things make me. I will do my best to eliminate profanity going forward.