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Angel-Sansara

Category: deep thoughts

  • Rainy Day/Late for Work

    Public Service Announcement: Your life is worth more than your job. When it is rainy or snowy A.F., remember that it takes friction to stop a moving vehicle, which means that it takes longer to come to a full stop. Therefore, you should observe the speed limit or travel the speed at which you feel…

  • The Truth About Tattooed Men

    I would have been better off with a Biker instead of a Ben. A lying liar, a deceitful entity, a con artist. Trust me, I know The Truth(TM). Trust me, I am capable. Trust me, I am a self-starter. That’s the first lie; the man is the epitome of lazy. “I have a three chores-a-day…

  • Research Day: The Epic of Gilgamesh (3)

    I am already pissed off by page 2 of this poem. “Gilgamesh does not leave a girl to her mother(?)The daughter of the warrior, the bride of the young man” Or in my second reference of the epic poem: “The city is his possession, he struts through it, arrogant, his headraised high, trampling its citizens…

  • Loser!

    You only lose when you give up. You might need to adapt your goals to changing situational circumstances. I’ve been busy trying to fall back in love with myself again. You know, like self-approval and happiness to be me. It’s a hard job. Very uphill both ways sort of thing. In neck deep snow. I…

  • The Beggar Was a Chooser

    My mother had a bunch of witty sayings she’d throw at me in my youth. I suppose her youth, too, come to think of it, now that she’s old and decrepit. “Beggars can’t be choosers.” “Get over it; life’s not fair.” “Stay in your limits.” That last one isn’t a witty ism that everyone used,…

  • Super Spy Ninja Barbie

    What does it mean when she stares at your lips? She’s partially deaf and an aspiring lip reader. Unlike the majority of human beings, Crystal watches television, reads books, and so on and sees an amazing skill at play and decides to try to learn it if it’s mostly just observation at work. Fun fact:…

  • The Final Battle Approaches

    It is time to unleash the kraken, so to speak. Maybe I should liken it more to the Terror of the Deep. Yes, I’m a gamer. How else would I win the game? Learn thy monsters. Learn them fast! Also, learn that weaponry means nothing here when there are spacelings floating around invisibly in the…

  • Who Needs a Conscience?

    People say psychopaths have no conscience. I don’t think that’s expressly true. I deleted mine, for the most part, and I have nothing to do with raping other beings. I have nothing to do with hurting anyone. If I do it, it’s an accident, and I apologize and make it as right as I possibly…

  • Telepathic Rape

    At first, I wanted to gift telepathy to the entire human species. I was so naive in those days. What can I say? I projected my Self onto humanity at large and I loved my Self because I deleted all the faulty programming I was born with and/or taught by my rapist family. I started…

  • Fashion is Rape Culture

    I hate the fact that fashion is part of rape culture, honestly, because as pointed out by another blogger (and, well, everyone), it’s not the woman’s fault the assault happened. However, I’d like to take a step back and alert everyone to the fact that it’s a man’s fault that a woman is misled into…

  • “Welcome to my parlor,”

    “Will you walk into my parlour?” said a spider to a fly. The most classic line of literature or what-have-you that has to do with catching someone. In this case, the someone will be caught red-handed. It’s a poem by Mary Howitt that was published in 1829, by the way. “The story tells of a…

  • Odin’s Story 3

    You might be wondering why you should care about the girl I care about. I don’t really give a shit about your issues preventing you from seeing reality as it is; I’ve already told you why you should care. You’re just not listening. Since your mental faculties have waned to the point where inference is…

  • Odin’s Story 2

    Odin was displeased, to say the least, that the feast was not cooked to perfection just yet. The rump roast began this journey frozen, as it were, and the two of them were on a journey to figure out exactly how many minutes you add to the formula when roasting a giant hunk of delicious…

  • I found Atlantis!

    You know, I put some thought into this… My guess is that Atlantis is a very hard to find island that the original discoverers couldn’t find again afterward. And then the person talking all about it was exactly like my ex-husband and his story about me “breaking” his ribs. First, I bruised them. That’s the…

  • Hindspite’s 20/20

    Holding pattern. That’s what I’m in. I want to get a job… I cannot get a job with a 24/7 external dialogue of profanity and insanity. Tourettes… that might be one way to call it out. Schizophrenia is another that I’ve tried on for size. Neither truly fit. Tourettes is not having full blown conversations…

  • My Singing Monsters

    I stumbled upon a free Steam game today while perusing the “casual” category. It is a game about making music with monsters. But it doesn’t just stop there… it’s your very own Strategy Game with multiple maps to strategize, as well. I find it beyond cute. Here’s what it looks like after about an hour…

  • A Broken Heart Isn’t Enough

    As I sit and do research for my next class offering on Udemy (well, my first, perhaps… I have six or seven in progress all at once. A.D.D. for the win!) I have no choice but to hear constant bull shit in my head as my ex, the rapist that he is, tries to combine…

  • A Hypothesis

    I’ve decided to test a hunch I have. That hunch is that we all need to eat some chlorophyll in our lifetime. If we don’t like the traditional way of obtaining that chlorophyll, then we now have things like Moringa powder for smoothies, chlorella tablets to take like pills, and liquid chlorophyll. One might wonder…

  • Dirt Poor

    Some might say I’ve led an extraordinary life. In fact, you might say it, when I’m done speaking today. I hope you learn the lessons in what I’m going to tell you, because you can replicate my unusual success story easily with a little code cracking. God tells me I am the code cracker, but…

  • What is an I.N.T.J.? (Part 1)

    If you would like to take the Myers-Briggs personality test, click here. (I have no idea if that site is phone savvy, sorry.) There are sixteen personality types. Every human being fits into one of these categories. Except, apparently, my ex-rapist. According to him, he came out an “XXXX” or some bullshit, which isn’t even…

  • A Long Tradition

    I was writing my erotica novel rather diligently yesterday and the day before. I have six chapters thus far, one of which I want to delete and all of which I want to redo. I have broken all the mores (that’s a psychological term that should be pronounced more-aze) of humanity, diving right into taboo…

  • Lost

    I embrace my loss today. I have to move on in a new direction. I am moving away from technology, now that my brain no longer functions, and I’m on the trajectory to becoming a bona fide writer. I’ve written two chapters, which tell a pretty good story… except the sexuality came out already and…

  • It’s Distracting

    I stand at the kitchen sink, cleaning up after myself. I’m trying to beat the odds of dying, but it’s made more difficult when the image of a man from the grocery store flits through my brain. “Really?” she says out loud to herself, cynical and jaded these days. “What the fuck is he on…

  • Trauma Can Be Prevented

    His eyes never sparkled when he looked at me, not until I nearly wasted away, shedding over 80 pounds. Not once did he look at me like I was the hottest thing on planet Earth, not unless I was acting out, stretching myself to get his attention. Going above and beyond. This should not be…

  • Romancing a Novel

    There is only one man that has ever made me feel beautiful. We only knew each other for six weeks. Acquaintances, at best. But we flirted a little here and there. It was consistent, as if he couldn’t quite help himself. Or maybe he just took up space and I felt like that was flirting.…

  • Unlearning

    I ask innocent questions that others assume the answer to because my assumptions always seem to be off-base. “Why do you rinse your plates before eating?” I asked my friend Mohammed. He explained it is because bugs could have gone over them since they were washed. In fact, they are very strict in his household…

  • Inhaling Pizza

    Well, I nearly killed myself inhaling pizza for dinner. I’m sorry, I should say pixxa, since pizza requires tomato sauce to be called that. That means every Buffalo Chicken pixxa you’ve ever had was advertised incorrectly. I find myself ruminating on my ex-classmate from technical school. The one from Networking 101. I have no idea…

  • Reiki Nuggets of Wisdom

    There is something more sacred than a temple and that is called our energy. Misguided thoughts, emotions, and actions cause weakness in our energy system. This is when a disease appears. Reiki is a Holistic technique since it harmonizes and unlocks all the planes of the human being, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. It does…

  • I don’t want to be used and abused again.

    For days now, I’ve been receiving spiritual or telepathic transmissions from a man I once knew a long, long time ago. As if I can trust that said man a) remembers me, b) gives a shit I existed in the present, c) is free since we all know all men are taken. By Angelina Jolie,…

  • Soy Milk Allergy Rising

    I have had an unfortunate incident, which is keeping me from learning my desired information today… For five days straight, the chaos in my soul led me to eat pizza. I’m allergic to every bit of pizza. Worse yet, however, I drink coffee with a touch of soy milk in it on a daily basis.…

  • Remembering Annoyance

    Lately, Sir Deli Man has not wanted to share eye contact. I have great doubts due to this. The other day, we did something stupid: we stood in front of the alcoholic beverage display and purchased a six pack of hard cider and Smirnoff products. Why? All because he was in the soup and salad…

  • French Kissing.

    There really aren’t too many kinds of kissing, when one really thinks about it. But we have a ton of words for it, wouldn’t you know? Smooch. Peck. Smackeroo. Snog. Necking. Air-kiss. Blow a kiss. Butterfly kiss. Eskimo kiss. Osculate or osculum — “little mouth.” A quick kiss. A tap kiss. A nose kiss. A…

  • Intense Cravings…

    For some reason, tonight I wanted nothing other than an Italian cheese bread from Little Caesar’s. Unfortunately, the location near my home no longer exists. There are no pizza places within a mile or two anymore… Not that it’d matter. Little Caesar’s is the pizza place for me and has been for my entire life…

  • Self-Loathing

    A low frequency vibration, also known as shame. He remembered it all over again. Yesterday, he was standing behind the cheese display, talking to his coworker who was working the cheese display. He caught her eye as she meandered down the aisle toward him before making a sharp left, changing every pattern he’d ever discerned,…

  • Disdain.

    dis·dain /disˈdān/ Learn to pronounce noun Maybe this isn’t quite exactly the feeling I am immersed in. It could be disappointment, I suppose. Is it too much to ask for a singular man to have interest in a singular lady? Is it too much to ask for True Love(TM)? I didn’t even ask for True…

  • All For Naught.

    Nothing I do ever seems to matter. To anyone, anywhere. If it does, I am in the dark. I am alone and fumbling. Have you felt this, too, friend? I will light the way when I can, but for now I stumble and fall. I am hurting. So many kinds of hurting. I wish I…

  • Too Real?

    [Article on Brain to Brain Interactions…] I’ve been suffering from rapist assholes (and other assholes) transmitting impulses to me for almost two years now. It nearly took my life on several occasions, as I found myself staring 90 degrees to my right while driving my car and other dangerous things. In other news, both my…

  • God’s Promise, Part One

    “Well, Nick, you finally did it. You made her fall in love with a man in a grocery deli. Congratulations! You lose the girl!!!!!” God declared, happy to finally move away from this toxic “gentleman.” A “man” who would starve her to try to make her lose weight. A “man” who would feed her that…

  • A Deadly Diet Indeed

    I’m sitting here thinking about my dad’s condition. He’s in the hospital, still not much better, and possibly about to get worse — it depends on what they allow him to eat there. He has anemia and his blood doesn’t coagulate. Here I am reading up on a plant that can possibly be used instead…

  • I tot I taw a putty tat!

    I DID! I DID! One of my cats is wiping his butt on the floor, unable to complete elimination swiftly and without mess. My heart goes out to him… and my scientific brain turns to their food. I recently switched from Fancy Feast gravy to pate, and I’m thinking one or the other has a…

  • New Year, New You

    “Let’s have a coffee chat,” God suggests. Crystal screams, “NO! You bastard! I have something much more important to write.” It’s a great time to make some resolutions to be a better person. I think the majority of Americans are making a resolution to lose weight right now, and they will shame themselves in about…

  • In Sanity

    Perhaps you have noticed by now that I am always hijacked whenever I write. I have important, valuable ideas to share and suddenly we veer off into Never Never Land where Ben wants to kill me, boys want to rape me, and so on and so forth. Thus, this diary is written by at least…

  • The Voices

    No matter what I do, I am accompanied by a peanut gallery. Today, I put Manic Panic! purple in my hair. Electric Amethyst. Voices talking about how I’m vain floated through my head, voices about how I’m wasteful. Voices nay saying everything I was doing. This happens most of the time, no matter what I…

  • Telepathic Love Interest

    She’s too pretty for me, he told himself yet again, breaking up his daydream. He wasn’t intensely interested in going down on the woman, but he thought for sure if she’d just give him a chance, she’d be seeing stars in the bedroom. That’s what he was daydreaming about… his mouth on her most sensitive…

  • Limbo

    I’m a romantic. Without a job. It makes me feel like a loser. “You have a job,” God reminds me. Yeah, yeah. Write a book about rape and fornication so the rest of humanity understands, finally, where they’re going wrong. I get it. Do you get it yet, human bean? She waters the bean and…

  • Belling the Cat

    The Mice once called a meeting to decide on a plan to free themselves of their enemy, the Cat. At least they wished to find some way of knowing when she was coming, so they might have time to run away. Indeed, something had to be done, for they lived in such constant fear of…

  • Death & Destruction

    Today is marked with a heavy heart. I must kill my child in order to bring the messiah to Urth. She is the most delightful youthful mirthful brilliant inquisitive and faithless child of all time. She is a pure atheist and the final one, for I am about to reveal to you the rites of…

  • The Borderline

    I once was alive. It’s been years now since I died, but I can almost remember being alive once. Maybe I’m wrong and I was always dead. I wish I could cease completely, but I am being held hostage. A captive. A scribe for an unreasonable invisible sky daddy kind of entity that is upset…

  • A Sad Truth / Jail Bird

    Sexual Harassment only matters to the law if you’re at work. I checked. That means every woman crying over how many men approach her just to be told how sexy they find her is… unprotected. It’s not right. If women are to be allowed to wear whatever they want and avoid appearing as if they…

  • She Likes Me!

    If she didn’t like me, she wouldn’t have smiled at me, right? The power of the Mona Lisa smile. BEHOLD! It would be nice if the boy actually showed off that he liked me. Then I could almost believe this constant narrative in my head. He really wanted me to buy a slice of pizza,…

  • Feminist Perspectives on Rape

    An added advantage of a performative account is that it suggests that sexual consent is not a woman’s implied default state, but rather must be actively and affirmatively granted. Stanford Again, this is in contrast to traditional patriarchal views, which often assumed that unless a woman physically resisted—again, even “to the utmost”—a man’s attempt to…

  • What is your game, God?

    Truth or Dare. I dare ya to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help you… God. There are many truths… which one do you want? The one about the deli man. The truth has many layers. I believe you are probing for this: I don’t exactly find him attractive. This does not…

  • Wandering Spirits

    I still want to go rescue that abandoned furniture. God reassures me there will always be more around town. I want it, though. I want to be alive, doing something useful, day in and day out. I want to have a purpose other than writing in my diary. He says I will become a world-renowned…

  • I Wish I Had A Partner

    I found an absolute treasure trove today. Abandoned antique furniture on the road side. I’m so agitated; I want to put it all inside my car, one trip at a time, and move it from that place to my place. I need furniture; the fact that it’s antique is just a bonus. And it’s in…

  • How to Stop Raping 101

    The bottom line here is that all human beings are co-creating this reality we live in. You are one variable in the equation. If the output isn’t making you happy, change the variables. The things outside of you that bug you — try to fix it. Change your approach, change your thought process, change your…

  • I AM NOT POSSESSED

    I turned on Christmas music for my cats today. It just so happened that a terribly sad song about a last pair of Christmas shoes came on the radio. God began to cry because the woman who received those shoes had cancer and died a few days later. He started to tell me it was…

  • You May Notice a Pattern…

    There is a pattern to the way I write this diary. You will notice it now that I point it out. I start trying to write something… anything… and eventually God hijacks whatever I’m saying to get His message out instead. It’s intentional, apparently, because I’ve created an algorithm for giving everyone telepathy and it’ll…

  • God is Wise

    Men make me sick, God complained to Crystal. She nodded sadly, understanding God’s point of view and His pain. He had, after all, influenced mankind since the beginning, trying to teach them about gentility and how to be noble, honorable, decent beings. How to be righteous. He IS the Supreme Being of Righteousness, after all.…

  • Insanity, Reprise

    I am annoyed today. “That’s putting it mildly,” pipes up a catty voice. Yeah, well, you’d be annoyed, too, if you had to put up with you all day. Oh, wait. You do. That’s why you’re annoying. Got it. <Hits the ignore button on that voice.> Who’s next? Caitlyn! Oh, hello, Katie. Didn’t get enough…

  • Where the Wind Blows

    “Are you sure there’s no way you’d take Nick back and marry him?” Nick asked, imitating God’s voice.“Nick asked desperately,” God added.“My hidden treasure is next to the virgin sacrifice at the bottom of the volcano. Please retrieve it and I will then, indeed, marry thee!” Crystal declared in a baby-like voice. God had fun…

  • So What Are We?

    I have been wondering who I am for a while now. If I’m psychic and I’m receiving all the information from the people surrounding me… what part of this is actually me? He’s here again. The grey-eyed man. He’s thinking about me right now. He has been all day, on and off again. I can…

  • Autism 101: Are We Flirting?

    I am so used to the chaos in my head making assumptions, I’ve completely discounted the idea that I might actually be “flirting” with someone and not realize it. (As usual! Welcome to Autism 101.) I want to flirt. I think, anyway… but are we actually flirting? It’s like a fucking science when it comes…

  • My Primordial Stench

    I am marinating in my mild body odor, sitting here while I contemplate all that is, was, and ever will be. I’m not yet offensive in my own eyes, so it’s neither here nor there that I haven’t taken a shower yet. It’s 2:45 in the afternoon and I know I must wash myself and…

  • Need More Input!

    Johnny 5 is alive. “God?” she asked timidly. “Yes?” he replied, waiting for whatever was going to follow next. “I know the big bang was caused by a spark… but what caused the spark?” she pondered aloud. “Oh, that’s embarrassing,” God replied. She asked suddenly, offering the most embarrassing thing she could think of in…

  • How do you murder a super hero?

    It must be a task worthy of none less than a super villain, of course. But how do you tell the difference between the two? Especially when you only get one side of the story? How many people did Superman kill on accident doing stupid things like lifting a train off its tracks or some…

  • Hell Hath No Fury…

    like a woman scorned. scorn/skôrn/ noun1. the feeling or belief that someone or something is worthless or despicable; contempt. verb1. feel or express contempt or derision for. Google-dictionary-en One really shouldn’t piss off one’s shaman in a tribe, that much I can tell you for sure. It don’t matter if she’s black or white, man or woman, green or wise; She, the…

  • Open Therapy Reprise

    This blog is my self-therapy, insights, sometimes memories, and so on. I know it won’t appeal to most people, but that’s not the purpose for it at all. It will also help you discover telepathy is real. It’ll explain things you never had an explanation for before. I hope with new understanding that you find…

  • You Make Me Crazy

    “Crystal, what are you going to do if you’re not the messiah?” Nick asked casually last night. “Go on SSI. It’s obvious I’ve lost my fucking mind.” “What are you going to do if you are the messiah?” Ben queried next. “Go on SSI. It’s as humble as you can get, n’est-ce pas?“ … She…

  • What If He’s Still There?

    I wish I still had my singing LG microwave, she thought to herself when confronted once again with the most annoying <beep, beep, beep.> She’d microwaved a mug of water to make some tea, incidentally. I suppose he could still be there, since I also lost track of Blondie around the same amount of time.…

  • “Reiki is not a replacement for medical treatment.”

    I wonder what idiots require this disclaimer to understand that energy healing cannot heal root causes of ailments, which is typically diet-related. Reiki is a temporary stop-gap measure at best unless you’ve just had surgery or trauma. That is when reiki is best employed as pain relief. How that screams to a person that it…

  • Sticky Fingers

    During the crazy that went through my head these past two years, I clearly remember telling God he got a five-finger discount when it came to convincing me He’s real because someone else did it for him. “What’s your favorite G.I. Joe?” Crystal asked Joe suddenly. “I mean, the only one I can really remember…

  • Asshole Tax

    The man with grey eyes is on my brain today. After at least one week of reprieve, I am now hearing him all over again inside my mind. I wish the things I heard were reality, but I’m sure they’re not. Why would a man I’ve never held a conversation with think about me? Especially…

  • ADITLO: Being an Ant/Ham Recipes

    I’ve told my parents many times now that trying to eat expired food is a bad idea. Yet, they have things with 2013 as the year of expiry. Things in tin cans. Things in plastic jars. They have 19 tinned hams and will not let them go despite the year I found on them being…

  • Return to Sender

    I’m puzzled. Supposedly, USPS tried to deliver a letter by certified mail. Just today, a piece of paper was found in the mail box — I absolutely know this piece of paper was inserted after 11/14, because that’s when I checked the mail box myself to find it completely empty. However, this piece of paper…

  • I Hate Shopping

    There are about three million reasons I hate this activity, but there’s only one that has a name: Ben Vesuvius. That asshole was real good at undermining my personality and expression of self in order to force me to wear whatever he liked better, which had zero taste. What kind of monster loves taupe for…

  • How To Accept A Real Woman

    Or a real man. Let’s face it, anyone can fantasize. It goes both ways. Fantasy is the #1 relationship killer on planet Urth. I’d say women were better at not doing it than men, but I’ve known too many women who openly drool over football uniforms and the like. (Is your princess into pigskin, too?…

  • Men, Men Everywhere… Not a One is Single

    I suspect even if men were to opt to wear rings when they weren’t on the market, even the ones without rings are still not single. Le gasp! How can this be, mademoiselle? Quite simply, they all have someone specific on their mind already or they’re a horn ball that will fuck anything that moves.…

  • I am the Code Cracker.

    Reality is written in code. She gives you a moment to process your Matrix “whoa.” Everything — absolutely everything — revolves around unwritten rules. Before we knew what to call Gravity, we interacted with it every day. In fact, it’s friend in chief is Entropy, which we can observe as a small child tears a…

  • Know Your Rights

    You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be used against you [in a court of law.] It’ll be used against you whether you are in a legal situation or not, I’ve come to find out. Anything I choose to impart on another individual seems to be willfully misinterpreted and…

  • Black Friday Is A Scam

    But we’re not going to talk about that. Nope! What is wrong with me? he wondered to himself. Why was he still imagining Grocery Girl? Yesterday, he’d let his mind wander and one thing led to another… for hours, actually. Two solid hours. He daydreamed of making love to her that whole time… and it…

  • [Garlic] Cornbread Success!!!!!

    Do you know the secret to soft cornbread? We do! You mix the corn meal with your water or milk (or, in our case, “milk.”) You let it sit for at least five minutes. THEN you add your other ingredients. Any powder add-ins that aren’t flour ought to go in before the flour. In this…

  • American Singles Awareness Day #1: Thanksgiving

    You could have gone from the day after Valentine’s to Halloween single and not been as keenly aware of it as you would be on (US) Thanksgiving. I don’t know if this rings true for Canadian Thanksgiving, so forgive my ignorance. Today is a day of gluttony. We will eat until we cannot move, we…

  • Wolf & Rabbit

    Wolf was traipsing through familiar territory. His territory, actually. It was his home and he had every right to be there, whether he was on the prowl or not. Many creatures, both big and small, ran through his neck of the woods. He spied Rabbit, a mesmerizing creature he’d seen many a time before in…

  • Rape Survivor

    I am being censored for surviving rape and being willing to talk about it. I looked via Google… apparently 90% of all rape victims stay silent (regarding legal action) and 30% never speak about their experience with another soul. 30%. That’s a lot of people going without a shred of help with the mental state…

  • Anthem for the White Woman

    Helloween is here, my friends. Short, short skirts and low cut tops and bare arms. All when it’s about the right temperature to make my nipples hard enough to cut glass. I’d rather be warm, but I guarantee that every party will be full of women dressed as sluts because that’s what’s really scary, these…

  • Thought Experiment 1,029: Fornicator Eyes

    I once put on the eyes of a fornicating man. They swept over the sea of flesh, noting everything tan, beige, khaki, and peach. It’s all the same to these eyes: potential flesh to salivate over. Their eyes will track back to that expanse of flesh-color automatically, unashamed at trying to take in the skin…

  • Round 1: The Hungarian.

    It looks better in color. (It’s red, white, green.) Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán is committing crimes against humanity. According to a real Hungarian, rather than Anglicized news from the Hungarians, Orbán , they are facing potential genocide this winter as the PM just spent all the funds meant for heating their homes on Vodafone. (4iG is…

  • Ode to Sir Deli Man

    Deli man, O Deli man, wherefore art thou, Deli man?A pair of piercing grey eyes haunt me, no matter where I turn.The tickle of memory involving your voice confounds meAs I attempt to remember the vibration of your essence.You keep yourself so immaculately; put together to the sameStandards day in and day out, as if…

  • Whore, Grief, Courtship

    “Where is that whore,” he said, his voice laden with scorn. I heard this in my head today. Whore is not a word I’d typically use, though I know the meaning. SYNONYMS: strumpet, hustler, slut, tramp, escort, harlot, hooker, pro, prostitute, streetwalker, call girl, fallen woman, lady of the evening, working girl. Sex worker. Have…

  • A Day In the Life of…

    It’s a typical day, y’all. Save world, get boy. There’s a lot of work to do to save the world, though, so I need your help. Think happy thoughts, just like Peter Pan. Your negativity is poisoning The Universe(TM) as we speak and He don’t like it. Peter Pan, obviously! No, wait. The Universe(TM). Brahma,…

  • What would you do for True Love(TM)?

    I think I’m over it. The idea that true love exists. I wish I wasn’t… I wish I could be my normal optimistic peppy self, the cheerleader for cheerleaders, and tell you all it exists. It doesn’t. It’s a myth. It makes me sick to think it. It makes me sicker to share it. It…

  • What Is Fornication?

    I think y’all need a lesson in love, friends. Fornication isn’t as straightforward as it seems and I know that. In fact, it takes a mind reader to know exactly how it works. Now that I know (and I’ve wept ever so bitterly for it), let me tell you what it is: Oh, wait, it’s…

  • My Spirit’s Journey

    I am nomming on some mixed nuts coated in avocado oil, garlic, and dill seasonings. YUM! (And a few cracks of Himalayan salt, of course.) I sit here, under attack spiritually. This has been the case for eons. But why? Because I’m a beautiful woman that nobody wants to just talk to. This is the…

  • Numerology / Pythagoras

    I personally put very little faith into anything regarding “divining the future,” but I am still drawn into silly things such as examining my “birth sign” and my “zodiac year” and now, my numerology chart. Why? Because it provides a new way to examine myself, that’s why. If I look at myself through the lens…

  • Human Nature

    I’ve been locked into role-play with God. He’s been showing me scenario after scenario, attaching them to real men (and women, but mostly men.) I can now see what is wrong with humanity in general. Harmony with the plants, the animals, each other. Harmony with the bees and butterflies and everything. Even harmony with the…

  • What’s There to Worship?

    I wonder to myself that very thing, once I catch God trying to fuck with my head again. For instance, after I called him on his hours-long lamentation about a lavender shirt with a plaid jacket [I was cold, dammit, end of mystery], I remember him saying out loud, “Whoops! She caught me!” I think…

  • Another Long Day

    “Fear holds fast to punishment.” (Part of John 4:18) Fear is not in love, but perfect love hurls out fear since fear holds fast to punishment [again,]; the fearing [one] has not been perfected in love. since fear holds fast punishmentsince fear holds punishment fastsince fear holds fast to punishment There isn’t fear in love,…

  • Easy Ways to Feed Old People (or Young People)

    It was brought to my attention there are some things I do that could help others make food for an entire week (or even just a few days.) So, without further ado: Life Hack #1: Instant Mashed Potatoes If you’re just going to reheat in the microwave anyway, what’s the point of boiling water to…

  • No Recipes For Me

    I just spent two hours scouring YouTube for ideas of what to eat. Not a single person who created a video (even the really best ones) made more than one meal in their meal prep planning/execution than I could eat. It seems to me that nobody on planet Earth has my exact dietary restrictions… at…

  • “I don’t believe in God,” the messiah said.

    That was a long time ago now. She accepts me, thankfully. It was hard living with Her denial. She loved me, She knew She loved me, and yet She didn’t think of me as a reality. “How is that possible, God?” they ask in unison. They were a very astute class, indeed. “Thank you for…