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Category: deep thoughts

  • Self-Loathing

    A low frequency vibration, also known as shame. He remembered it all over again. Yesterday, he was standing behind the cheese display, talking to his coworker who was working the cheese display. He caught her eye as she meandered down the aisle toward him before making a sharp left, changing every pattern he’d ever discerned, […]

  • Disdain.

    dis·dain /disˈdān/ Learn to pronounce noun Maybe this isn’t quite exactly the feeling I am immersed in. It could be disappointment, I suppose. Is it too much to ask for a singular man to have interest in a singular lady? Is it too much to ask for True Love(TM)? I didn’t even ask for True […]

  • All For Naught.

    Nothing I do ever seems to matter. To anyone, anywhere. If it does, I am in the dark. I am alone and fumbling. Have you felt this, too, friend? I will light the way when I can, but for now I stumble and fall. I am hurting. So many kinds of hurting. I wish I […]

  • Too Real?

    [Article on Brain to Brain Interactions…] I’ve been suffering from rapist assholes (and other assholes) transmitting impulses to me for almost two years now. It nearly took my life on several occasions, as I found myself staring 90 degrees to my right while driving my car and other dangerous things. In other news, both my […]

  • God’s Promise, Part One

    “Well, Nick, you finally did it. You made her fall in love with a man in a grocery deli. Congratulations! You lose the girl!!!!!” God declared, happy to finally move away from this toxic “gentleman.” A “man” who would starve her to try to make her lose weight. A “man” who would feed her that […]

  • A Deadly Diet Indeed

    I’m sitting here thinking about my dad’s condition. He’s in the hospital, still not much better, and possibly about to get worse — it depends on what they allow him to eat there. He has anemia and his blood doesn’t coagulate. Here I am reading up on a plant that can possibly be used instead […]

  • I tot I taw a putty tat!

    I DID! I DID! One of my cats is wiping his butt on the floor, unable to complete elimination swiftly and without mess. My heart goes out to him… and my scientific brain turns to their food. I recently switched from Fancy Feast gravy to pate, and I’m thinking one or the other has a […]

  • New Year, New You

    “Let’s have a coffee chat,” God suggests. Crystal screams, “NO! You bastard! I have something much more important to write.” It’s a great time to make some resolutions to be a better person. I think the majority of Americans are making a resolution to lose weight right now, and they will shame themselves in about […]

  • In Sanity

    Perhaps you have noticed by now that I am always hijacked whenever I write. I have important, valuable ideas to share and suddenly we veer off into Never Never Land where Ben wants to kill me, boys want to rape me, and so on and so forth. Thus, this diary is written by at least […]

  • The Voices

    No matter what I do, I am accompanied by a peanut gallery. Today, I put Manic Panic! purple in my hair. Electric Amethyst. Voices talking about how I’m vain floated through my head, voices about how I’m wasteful. Voices nay saying everything I was doing. This happens most of the time, no matter what I […]