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My Little Princess
There she was, a veritable princess in pink and purple. Her hair — the pink in this equation — is immaculate, like usual. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it anything but alluring, not even when I was surprised by the blue fan of hair she sported just two months ago. I was distracted by…
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Interpreting Images of Humankind
Hello! I’m on a soul-saving mission these days. I was entertaining God by interpreting images of women and men. There is so much we can communicate in a single look. And my little autistic brain whirred and spun up into a masterpiece that we’ve decided to share with YOU! Our viewer! She feels like she’s…
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Evening the Score
There’s this girl that walks through here every day. I just saw her again. A bright pink smudge amongst the rest of the masses. She was wearing these ridiculously oversized ears on top of her head. I wish I knew her name. Or who she was. She was smiling and it lit up the whole…
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What is He Thinking?
Oh man, I love talking to this girl. She’s so warm and friendly. I think she likes me, so I hang around every break I can to talk to her. She makes me feel good about life again. I wish I wasn’t too shy to ask her out on a date. I should practice just…
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What is She Thinking? Take 2
Wow, I can’t believe how this idiot just comes back every day we’re on shift together, chatting up a storm. As if I’m really into Game of Thrones. I just watch it so I can relate to all my girlfriends. This is useful to me because my day goes by faster the more I stop…
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What is She Thinking?
She smiled warmly at her coworker. At least, she hoped it was warmly. She put effort into it. He was back again, a honey bee seeking nectar to thrive upon, looking for a delicate flower to pollinate. She knew how to keep him coming back, too. She had to develop the skill set to ensure…
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Scattershot
What have I done? What am I doing? Why am I such a bonehead? I was flirting with super babe. She reacted to me, I reacted to her. We used to make eye contact for seconds at a time. Now? Now we act like we don’t notice each other hardly at all. Now she walks…
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Let’s Write Sexy
“Think about it: essentially every romance book follows the same arc. Two people meet, they fall in love, something prevents them from getting together, and then they overcome it to be with each other. That’s the feel-good formula that romance readers love, and it’s essential to a romance story.” [Source: Self Publishing School dot com.] What…
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Glamour.
“The only thing that could make me happier right now is some weed,” she heard as she came to a stop at a stop light traveling southbound on the main arterial roadway of the city. Moments later, she could smell cannabis. She was alone in her car, en route to the grocery store for her…
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I am on fire.
My neurons are slow to rouse, but the rest of me is not. In fact, I am aroused. I keep seeing ideas of how to satisfy that hunger in my head. Ideas I didn’t ask for. Ideas I wouldn’t ask for. I do not have permission. I do not have consent. Why are they there?…
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Wake Up To Your Destiny
“WAKE UP,” he said again. “YOU NEED TO WAKE UP.” It was the third time. It was not quite shouting, but it was loud enough to wake any zombie from slumber. “Wake up to what?” the other boy asked. Am I a sleeper agent? “To your destiny!” declared the troublemonger. Joe laughed at that. Destiny,…
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Thought Experiment 1,029: Fornicator Eyes
I once put on the eyes of a fornicating man. They swept over the sea of flesh, noting everything tan, beige, khaki, and peach. It’s all the same to these eyes: potential flesh to salivate over. Their eyes will track back to that expanse of flesh-color automatically, unashamed at trying to take in the skin…
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Ode to Sir Deli Man
Deli man, O Deli man, wherefore art thou, Deli man?A pair of piercing grey eyes haunt me, no matter where I turn.The tickle of memory involving your voice confounds meAs I attempt to remember the vibration of your essence.You keep yourself so immaculately; put together to the sameStandards day in and day out, as if…
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Dear Grocery Girl,
It’s only been three days since we’ve made eye contact, but I miss you. I know I’ve never said hello or even told you my name, but I want to resolve that. I want to sweep you off your feet and make you my wife forever and ever, really, but I understand there are a…
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Unconventional Breakfast
Cider-Oat Breakfast Soup Microwave for 3 minutes or so (perhaps longer, if your cider is chilled.) I mulled and reduced some cider for another recipe, so what’s a girl to do with what’s leftover? EAT IT. I am woozy this morning… I slept 15 hours after I exercised twice yesterday. I went through a simple…
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The Mountain Dragon Man (4)
I think I found the perfect model for The Mountain Dragon Man. Now, it is time to draw and write. Some day, my labor of love will show the world what I’ve learned about life at large. There’s still more to learn — there will always be more to learn — but I think I…
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Dream Woman, I am in love with you.
You never use the L word on me. It’s making it really hard to believe in the idea that there could be an “us.” Without that word, it seems pointless to trudge onward. I want to be with you. Just you. For the rest of eternity. Did I do something wrong? Why don’t you say…
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I’m In Love
I saw her again tonight. The woman of my dreams. She’s literally inside my dreams. They’re not all saucy dreams, either. Last night, I dreamt of her having dinner with me. We had an excellent time and I was beyond smitten… but that’s when I realized that dream me wasn’t the real me. Instead, he…
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Bob’s Back.
The little girl inside of me is all a-titter. “Oooh, Mr. Handsome. I JUST SAW HIM!” We call him Bob. We don’t actually know his name yet, but Bob’s a good a name as any. We imagine it’s short for Jacob, actually, rather than Robert. “He’s gorgeous,” Sansara crooned yet again, swooning over his beautiful…
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In A Tizzy
He wrapped his arms around her, tears in his eyes. He had no idea how shitty her home life was before God told him all about it. She had not complained once herself, not even while God was on a tirade about how her mother only cooked in that kitchen when she was already using…
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Let Me Soothe You…
“Will you hold me?” he asked, tears in his eyes. Something said or done or experienced brought to the forefront an emotion he had yet to deal with. The angel of love put her arms around him and shielded him with her lavender wings. “Yes,” she replied simply, after the fact. It was a quirk…
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Wishful Thinking
He stared out his bedroom window, sighing. It was another long day without the girl of his dreams in his arms. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on without her, honestly. He wasn’t even sure if she existed. He wasn’t even sure who she was. Not yet. He just knew he hadn’t…
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Gone With the Wind
He had a sinking feeling that she was gone. Gone for good this time. This had happened before, but not like this. Her brothers even indicated she wasn’t returning. They figured she was too ashamed she’d proposed, made it public, and then I never showed up. What an ass. Not even her longest-standing friend online…
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An Apology
“I wish she’d come back,” he thought to himself… and then she was there, like nothing ever happened. He’d opened his mouth and inserted foot yet again. He should apologize, he thought, though he knew not how to do so. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have tried to make you prove yourself. That was the stupidest…
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Court is Adjourned
The trial started today. I’ve been preparing for it all year, but I’m not ready yet, it seems. There was a motion for mistrial before we even began, which seems like a typical movie plot. The reason? The defendant is deceased. That is not sufficient for postponing the trial. However, the fact that I have…
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Parable 1
The men of my former tribe bound together to kill me. They convinced each other that they knew what was best for Little Girl. All Little Girl needed was love. Pure, unadulterated love. That is not the conclusion the men came to, sadly. She still has no love, even for herself. Little Rat stole her…
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No Longer Entertained
Somebody please help me… there’s this woman in my head that won’t leave me alone. Dude, that sounds rough. What’s going on? I don’t know… I just can’t get her out. She talks to me like I’m an arsehole all the time. Why does she do that? Did you do something to deserve it? Sigh.…
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Interference
There’s a woman on the other side of the world in my brain. I can’t get her out. How does one ghost a ghost of a woman? I think she’s dead and haunting me. I think she hates me because she begged me to help her live and now, because I failed to do that,…
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Freedom
Benjamin Andrew Carter is nothing to me.He is nothing to me.He is nothing to me.HE IS NOTHING TO ME.HE IS NOTHING TO ME.HE IS NOTHING TO ME.NOTHING TO ME.NOTHING TO ME.NOTHING TO ME.NOTHING TO ME.NOTHING TO ME. I WANT TO BE FREE FROM THIS TETHER.I WANT TO BE FREE FROM THIS LEASH.I WILL BE FREE.I…
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Schizophrenia #1
I love you. I want to be with you forever. I know we’ve never spoken before in person. I know there’s a lot to say and maybe even more to do… but I love you. I can’t get you out of my head. I have tried, but you just won’t leave it, no matter what…
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Sansara’s Reiki Retreat PT 1
Hello, my friends! Welcome to Sansara’s reiki retreat. There is so much to know, so much to learn. Especially if you, too, desire to be one with The Universe(TM). (Is that pickup line still too cheesy?) I hope you do desire to be unified with the rest of creation, but it’s okay if you don’t.…
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Coffee Talks
I read through my journal, or part of it, and now I’m fighting the knee jerk reaction to delete it. What was I thinking? Oh, right. I wasn’t thinking. The Universe(TM) has put me on autopilot. (“Look ma, no hands!”) I’m pretty tired of conversations involving phantoms these days. I think The Universe must be…
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The Invisible Woman
There’s a woman who is completely invisible. It’s not because she doesn’t reflect the light that reaches her hair, nails, eyes, and skin. It’s not because she does anything to make you avert your gaze. She does nothing to change the tides of time around her. Besides, she would be perfectly visible if you had…
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My Path Is Sacred. Is Yours?
I found these mantras incredibly soothing. Maybe you will find the same. The enchantress who created this is certainly blessed in the realm of relaxing music. Thank you, Universe. I am on a quest for true love, friends. I died one day in 2020 and The Universe(TM) (or God, if you will, though I’m STILL…
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Fighting Demons
As if the challenges of the modern world were not enough, I’ve gone bat shit crazy. I used to be sane. I really did. I used to just be myself. I hope one day to be myself again, though I’d miss talking to the voice inside me that responds to God (or, more accurately, The…
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Got Sanity? I’m Buying.
Every day is a new set of lies. Do normal people live with this shit? I hope not. It makes life stupid amounts of confusing. If your life stopped making sense, chances are you’re surrounded by lying sacks of shit. I’m sorry. You’d think understanding that being a human being is to be flawed inherently,…
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Emergency Care
Her soul needed CPR. After eighteen long months, she has a spiritual pulse again. I thought I lost her, y’all. She’s my baby, you know. She’s so sweet and innocent. A fucking unicorn amongst you idiots. More of you could be like her, but I bet you won’t bother or dare. It’s a shame, because…
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Continuing The Day
A day in the life of Crystal Scordias is rather uncomplicated from the outside. She goes to the store daily for her family unit, replenishing the coffers with nommables. She ferries ungrateful wretches to their doctor appointments and tries to feed them in a healthful way. They constantly sabotage themselves, these ancient ones. They eat…
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Is My Struggle Your Struggle, Too?
People like to bitch and moan and whine. All the time, actually. They’re succumbing to the negativity ripple that they experienced from another human being that is further from enlightenment than you or I. Instead of pouring their energy into positive change, into actively making the situation into a different situation to see if the…
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All Men Are Handsome
And all women are beautiful. Logically, since beauty is objective and “in the eye of the beholder,” then we can extrapolate that all people are beautiful (or handsome, if you prefer) to someone, somewhere. Therefore, to limit another being based on our own inability to find them to be objectively beautiful to gaze upon is…
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My Worth
Feelings of self-worth are… tricky. We are constantly absorbing the information around us, our brains forced to filter out all the chaff from the wheat. But what if your brain cannot filter out the chaff? What if it sits there in your brain, taking up space, until you decide to throw it away? Apparently, self-worth…
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I am Ragnarok
I am god killer. I am child of the universe. I am master of myself. I am love.
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An Apology, Take Three
She’s terribly angry at me. I still have a shred of hope she’ll meet me later at the bar, but I don’t think she will. I think I blew it. I didn’t blow it just once. It was more like 1,000 times. She has so much patience, she’s so laid-back. A simpleton would blame her…
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Dear You,
You are stronger than you know. And loved more than you caneven imagine. — My coffee mug. God crumbled when I decided I’d try heavy cream in a cup of decaf. I added too much cream, not enough vanilla extract. Next cup, I’ll try more of one and less of the other. He’s been talking…
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Dear God,
I know I’m an atheist, which in my mind means I have no right to talk to you as if you exist. However, I think it’s rude of me to declare you don’t exist, especially when I know Mr. Christ certainly existed. He can exist, be a healer, and there could still be no God.…
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Hot As Hell [NSFW]
She sat there, sweating even though she hadn’t moved in over an hour. Fans blew air around her apartment languidly. The heat was unshakable. Her back still ached, despite all her muscle knots releasing thanks to the humid air surrounding her. She sighed, telling herself winter was only six months away. That’s all. She stretched…
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My Dearest Crystal,
I’ve known you for many moons now. Every day spent with you is sheer delight. You are intelligent and witty. You have impeccable timing and delivery, Ms. Comedian-in-the-making. The juxtaposition of your superior logic and your outright barbaric nature when it comes to eating pleases me to no end. You’ve honed yourself to be a…
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What Do You Need a Woman For?
“Diego, what exactly do you need a woman for?” Sansara asked him coquettishly. She’d obtained Crystal’s answer on the topic. Now she wanted to know his. “Sex. Uh… logic. Her logic is superior to mine, I have to say. She has ideas I wouldn’t dream up in a million years, too. Companionship. It’s always better…
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Manny & Camila [NSFW]
Crystal didn’t expect Manny and Camila to be a happily ever after duo. She would have rooted for them every day in every way to try to prevent it, but she still had the feeling Camila was more deeply in love with Diego than she herself even realized. Sansara, Crystal’s twin spirit, was a mind-reader.…