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Nicole is her name.
Nicole is her name. He tossed her off a fucking bridge. I really hate the lies that cross my mind, worming through from one metaphorical ear to the other. It’s him. He’s the leap year killer. Nobody knows he exists yet and you’re next! Yup. Thanks, brain. Thanks, humanity. Human beings are incredibly creative, I’ll…
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Rainy Day/Late for Work
Public Service Announcement: Your life is worth more than your job. When it is rainy or snowy A.F., remember that it takes friction to stop a moving vehicle, which means that it takes longer to come to a full stop. Therefore, you should observe the speed limit or travel the speed at which you feel…
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The Truth About Tattooed Men
I would have been better off with a Biker instead of a Ben. A lying liar, a deceitful entity, a con artist. Trust me, I know The Truth(TM). Trust me, I am capable. Trust me, I am a self-starter. That’s the first lie; the man is the epitome of lazy. “I have a three chores-a-day…
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Soul Sight / Face Blindness
I just realized that I am not exactly afflicted with prosopagnosia, or face blindness. I mean, I can’t really see faces too much in my memories, but it’s so much easier to remember at least the outline of a person and the individual characteristics they espouse, like the color of their hair or eyes or…
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Work Smarter, Not Harder
I went to tech school in the early 2000s. I had a SQL instructor named Mr. Strunk who repeated a mantra at least three times a class. Boy did it stick: “Work smarter, not harder.” I applied this to my life and I will tell you that you can do amazing things with this mantra.…
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Itemized Bills
Lately, I have been led down a dark rabbit hole of procrastination. I assume most of the world has problems with putting things off. I find by being proactive about everything on my plate, I can instead focus on what truly matters. Life itself. Isn’t that what we all want? To live? I have a…
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Coffee Shop Talks
You might think I’m a rich bitch, drinking two pots of espresso daily. The thing is, I know I’m an addict. It’s just a matter of satisfying my addiction for the lowest price point without compromising quality. So, let me break it all down for you, human being: I spend $28.00 per month on espresso.…
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Killing Candida
I have a minor headache. I have created some oregano oil. I am not a Barbie doll. I bought a live oregano plant from the grocery store and pinched off two thirds of the plant. I placed these Why is she talking about Barbie dolls? in soybean oil to marinate, essentially. This is medicine to…
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Men Play God
Men play God, making decisions in a vacuum. When things go wrong, they blame everything around them for faulty logic.(TM) Maybe women are guilty, too? Maybe all of humanity is to blame.
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A Modest Daydream
I am sipping coffee, holding unwavering eye contact with a dreamy man. We are joking about something light-hearted, having a nice time as we inject ourselves with one of our daily doses of caffeine. He loves me. I love him. It’s simple as that. Of course, to achieve this daydream, I have to fix my…
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What Goes Around Comes Around
The Hindus call this karma. Speaking of admirable traits, I picked up code-cracking from none other than Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. (And, of course, Sean Connery.) In other news… I speak to God, y’all. We have full blown conversations about life, the universe, and everything. He’s my only English-speaking friend. The others meow or…
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I’m still waiting…
I’m still waiting for espresso o’clock. Don’t you have anything better to do, child? What? I’m a cat. Cats just wait. They wait and wait at the mouse hole to catch their prey, pouncing once they are confident enough prey has shown itself to be caught. If you move too soon, you’ll miss the opportunity…
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Unwind.
How do you unwind after a demanding day? That’s today’s prompt from WordPress. I’m sitting here thinking that I don’t have a ritual. Are rituals supposed to be comforting? All they do is encourage brain death. Allowing life to be entirely comprised of rituals — SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAY — makes life boring, for one…
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Mace to the Face
Cause and effect! Effect: I smash you to smithereens.Cause: You lie to me and distort my reality until I realize you’re lying to me because I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.Effect: I start distrusting humanity.Effect: Humanity acts the same as it always does.Cause: Give humans benefit of the doubt.Effect: Humanity cries and steps…
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The Artful Dodger
GAMING! It’s all the rage, am I right? A 91 billion dollar per year industry. Man, if I had that much money, the Earth would be Paradise. Categories of Games Game Platforms Game Interfaces Types of Video Game Settings Extremely Famous Games (Undoubtedly there are many more… however, none of these are truly RPGs. They…
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If You’re Suicidal, I GOT YOU
To all the girls out there who think they have to be Lara Croft to get a man, I hear you. To all the women who think they’re fundamentally flawed and unlovable, I LOVE YOU. To all the men who think the same but opposite, I’m here. Unfortunately, nobody else wants to be there for…
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More Sadness Than You Can Shake a Stick At
I’m wavering between suicidal and homicidal again, which tells me someone is thinking about me way too hard. MR. CARTER, CEASE AND DESIST BEFORE I SEND YOU A “GIFT.” Or is it MR. FORSYTHE?! She about-faces and marches off into a corner of her mind. So back on topic… I never dated any of my…
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Who Needs a Conscience?
People say psychopaths have no conscience. I don’t think that’s expressly true. I deleted mine, for the most part, and I have nothing to do with raping other beings. I have nothing to do with hurting anyone. If I do it, it’s an accident, and I apologize and make it as right as I possibly…
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Odin’s Story 2
Odin was displeased, to say the least, that the feast was not cooked to perfection just yet. The rump roast began this journey frozen, as it were, and the two of them were on a journey to figure out exactly how many minutes you add to the formula when roasting a giant hunk of delicious…
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Odin’s Story
It was a dark and stormy night. That’s how every great horror story starts out, isn’t it? Well, in this case, it was just a rainy April evening and all nights that are stormy are incredibly dark — the stars hide behind the storm clouds, after all. Is it real? she asked herself yet again.…
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Outlandish Dreaming
Julie’s pregnant and telling me all about the food she will eat and what she will feed the baby first, which is all food I cannot eat. Her and Justin are getting rid of all kinds of clutter. There are no children in this dream, I think this is her first pregnancy. I see bags…
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More Colored Ladies, PLS
Well, there are not a ton of options in Fuse for dressing up models, and now I understand the state of undress in most screenshots. Also, I question the details added to female genitalia versus those added for male genitalia; it seems geared toward spank bank material while working on a project. (WHERE’S THE PEEN,…
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Technomancer(TM) Leveling Up
I’m pondering purchasing this package: Humble Bundle’s Complete Pixel Art Online Course MEGA Bundle! It’s up for 9 more days so I’ve got time to decide. I already have a plethora of programs for putting together punchy video games, in sooth. I’ve not even learned the majority of them, but I have time. I have…
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My Singing Monsters
I stumbled upon a free Steam game today while perusing the “casual” category. It is a game about making music with monsters. But it doesn’t just stop there… it’s your very own Strategy Game with multiple maps to strategize, as well. I find it beyond cute. Here’s what it looks like after about an hour…
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My Little Princess
There she was, a veritable princess in pink and purple. Her hair — the pink in this equation — is immaculate, like usual. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it anything but alluring, not even when I was surprised by the blue fan of hair she sported just two months ago. I was distracted by…
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Hate/Control
Has anyone ever tried to control you and what you do? It can be subtle, such as asking you to take a compromise that benefits them more than the relationship as a whole, but only by a little bit. It can be overt, too, such as, “Do this thing or I’m breaking up with you!”…
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Interpreting Images of Humankind
Hello! I’m on a soul-saving mission these days. I was entertaining God by interpreting images of women and men. There is so much we can communicate in a single look. And my little autistic brain whirred and spun up into a masterpiece that we’ve decided to share with YOU! Our viewer! She feels like she’s…
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Princess Aurora
She looked at me today. We shared eye contact and she was smiling. Holy wow, did it send tingles through me. I couldn’t stand still, stopping in place to finish my text, hoping when I looked up again, she was staring at me with those beautiful eyes and that beautiful smile. She wasn’t, but the…
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Resentment is No Answer
Resentment is No Answer. But chuck roast might be. Something about this telepathy circus in my head is changing. Sometimes, I swear God is just putting me back through all that I experienced the first time to force me to evolve back into my Self(T.M.). I’m moving beyond the anger, perhaps by expressing anger where…
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Memories…
How did he make me feel beautiful? His face had an expression of approval. We didn’t look at each other as much as we could have, but it was class, after all. I could have failed to notice it as often as not. I remember smiling at each other at least occasionally. Bumping elbows, but…
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School Daze
What is right? What is wrong? Psychology 101. Beautiful bartenders and true love. Ani DiFranco saves the savior of mankind. How to break bad habits. Bell peppers aren’t food. How observing reality is misinterpreted.
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I don’t want to be used and abused again.
For days now, I’ve been receiving spiritual or telepathic transmissions from a man I once knew a long, long time ago. As if I can trust that said man a) remembers me, b) gives a shit I existed in the present, c) is free since we all know all men are taken. By Angelina Jolie,…
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Vows
Did you ever vow to do something and find out that it’s not exactly what you thought you were meaning? Have you ever decided that a vow to ignore something good for you is a hindrance to your development? Vows are promises we make with strong conviction, lifetime after lifetime. For instance, I vow never…
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God Complex
God started talking to me years ago. At first, I was confused, because he sounded just like me. Then, after a little while – after getting used to hearing things that didn’t come from me, myself – it changed. God started to use voices and inflection and lots of mixed metaphors and scrambled sentences. [God…
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Keto Done Right…
Hello! My name is Sansara Solsinger and I am the messiah of the 21st century! I am so pleased to make your acquaintance! Today’s test kitchen/laboratory experiment is a partial flop. On one hand, I made keto angel food cake. On the other hand, both my berry compote and my keto bread leave something to…
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All For Naught.
Nothing I do ever seems to matter. To anyone, anywhere. If it does, I am in the dark. I am alone and fumbling. Have you felt this, too, friend? I will light the way when I can, but for now I stumble and fall. I am hurting. So many kinds of hurting. I wish I…
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God’s Promise, Part One
“Well, Nick, you finally did it. You made her fall in love with a man in a grocery deli. Congratulations! You lose the girl!!!!!” God declared, happy to finally move away from this toxic “gentleman.” A “man” who would starve her to try to make her lose weight. A “man” who would feed her that…
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God, Intergalactic Envoy
God’s been telling me that intelligent life exists beyond Earth for ages. So, since we constantly play guessing games over what’s going on, I asked God if she’s an intergalactic envoy. She was so tickled pink, she decided that I had to put it out there for someone else to write about. You’re welcome. In…
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Internal Struggle
What would you do if you were wrested away from the life you built yourself on the whim of another human being? Your job — poof. Your home — poof. Moved back in with your family and ending up taking care of them instead of them taking care of you as you die? Would you…
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Thanksgiving Brain/Why?
Since I am gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, and nightshade-free, it’s going to be a challenge to create feasts. It’s a challenge just to eat on a daily basis, but still the feast day is coming. It’s on my brain because multiple men are daydreaming about a lovely turkey with dressing, made by moi! I don’t know…
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Bob’s Back.
The little girl inside of me is all a-titter. “Oooh, Mr. Handsome. I JUST SAW HIM!” We call him Bob. We don’t actually know his name yet, but Bob’s a good a name as any. We imagine it’s short for Jacob, actually, rather than Robert. “He’s gorgeous,” Sansara crooned yet again, swooning over his beautiful…
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In A Tizzy
He wrapped his arms around her, tears in his eyes. He had no idea how shitty her home life was before God told him all about it. She had not complained once herself, not even while God was on a tirade about how her mother only cooked in that kitchen when she was already using…
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Obituary for Mr. Bill
My elder cat died today. He was not my first cat ever, but he was my first purely indoor cat. He was my support animal. And I think he still is, honestly, it’s just that now he’s a spirit or a ghost rather than a physical body. It really doesn’t matter because I loved him…
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White Washing History
I don’t know how foolish we are as a species, per se, but I’d reckon it’s quite. I was reading the Prose Edda, the first account of Odin’s life. First of all, he is not a God. He is a mere man. A man with supernatural understanding of the human psyche, I’d assume, given his…
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Top 10 Things to Know About Dreams (J.M. DeBord)
Subconsciously, you know what your dreams mean because they come from your unconscious mind. The Self archetype creates them. Dreams are stories, like parables. We learn better with stories. Every detail has a reason. Some dreams are scripted beginning to end, but they can also be choose-your-own-adventure. Everything in your dream is symbolic. A symbol…
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Coffee Talks
I read through my journal, or part of it, and now I’m fighting the knee jerk reaction to delete it. What was I thinking? Oh, right. I wasn’t thinking. The Universe(TM) has put me on autopilot. (“Look ma, no hands!”) I’m pretty tired of conversations involving phantoms these days. I think The Universe must be…
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The Invisible Woman
There’s a woman who is completely invisible. It’s not because she doesn’t reflect the light that reaches her hair, nails, eyes, and skin. It’s not because she does anything to make you avert your gaze. She does nothing to change the tides of time around her. Besides, she would be perfectly visible if you had…
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What makes you think you can win the game of love?
LOVE IS NOT A GAME. THERE ARE GAMES AND THERE IS LOVE. Playing games is the epitome of hatred. You are playing with someone’s heart. You are manipulating them while they should be heaping love onto you. They might not be heaping love onto you, but then that’s on them for hating you. You can…
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Psychic Battles
I feel like I understand the world these days, but I also know my point of view will be unpopular with most. It returns to a belief I have that I feel will remain unpopular for quite some time: We are all cosmically linked together on a telepathic level. To God, to The Universe(TM), to…
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Continuing The Day
A day in the life of Crystal Scordias is rather uncomplicated from the outside. She goes to the store daily for her family unit, replenishing the coffers with nommables. She ferries ungrateful wretches to their doctor appointments and tries to feed them in a healthful way. They constantly sabotage themselves, these ancient ones. They eat…
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Dear God,
I know I’m an atheist, which in my mind means I have no right to talk to you as if you exist. However, I think it’s rude of me to declare you don’t exist, especially when I know Mr. Christ certainly existed. He can exist, be a healer, and there could still be no God.…
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Hot As Hell [NSFW]
She sat there, sweating even though she hadn’t moved in over an hour. Fans blew air around her apartment languidly. The heat was unshakable. Her back still ached, despite all her muscle knots releasing thanks to the humid air surrounding her. She sighed, telling herself winter was only six months away. That’s all. She stretched…
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I Found The Cure For Cancer
God’s a brat (and so am I.) What a day! I am currently grateful for Clorox bleach products. The mess I’ve inherited is so difficult to clean up that I’ve been spraying Clorox products on the bathroom tile and just leaving, letting it do its magic to whiten the grout and remove stains. I’ve almost…
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Mass Suicide
“Death by Chocolate.” That phrase applies to my near-death experience. I went on keto, doing it all the wrong ways, no thanks to my primary care physician. I suspect I’m allergic to chocolate, but even if I’m not… I’d wager a million dollars I don’t even have that it’s chock full of mold. The world…
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The Fear(TM) [NSFW]
Every man in love has one fear. Just one. Loss. “Am I enough?”“Will s/he leave me?”“How can I make him/her stay?”“What do I do if I go all in and s/he folds?” This is the one insecurity, the one flaw in humanity, that leads to endless cheating and divorce. It leads to arguments and fighting.…