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Aging in Reverse

Now, I’ve seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button… it’s a lovely dissertation on Alzheimer’s Disease, if you ask me. It’s crap if that’s not what it’s supposed to be about, though. Sometimes, you’ve got to explore crap ideas to get better ones, though. True Science Fiction, that flick. It took one variable and altered it and supposed how the rest of creation would react.

That’s what Science Fiction is, you know.

If you don’t change any variable, it’s just literature. Fiction.

It’s all valuable, honestly. Every story has something to teach you. I remember having a contrary opinion about the Mayor of Casterbridge in English class once… you see, I can empathize with villains quite easily because I could have become one. Except… I decided to use my powers for good.

What do you use your powers for?

In other news, God’s fixing my body for me. (Thanks, G-man!) He told me just now that my spine is as good as it was in 2010, around the time that awful chiropractic bitch in training ruined it. And my marriage. We have to go back to 1994 to get it right again. That’s when I began to fuck it up. My innards — my digestive system — is back to 2018. We need to go back to birth to fix that, so that’s going to be a while. And then I asked him how I’m doing wielding POWER, and he said I’m back to 2007.

In other words, I’m all over the place in my recovery to superhero.

I’m going to save the world, you know.

You could make it a touch easier by helping me! Please donate to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch cleanup fund here. God will smile on you one day for every dollar you spend, so you know. It’s worth it, if you ask me.

If you don’t believe in dolphins, whales, polar bears, woolly mammoths, orcas, seals, or even fish, then don’t do that. Do this instead: Rainforest Foundation Fund. Maybe you don’t believe in trees, either… well, I gotta say, if you don’t believe in that which keeps us foolish things alive, you deserve to be dead, but here: NRDC. Wait, I meant SPLC. Yeah. Southern Poverty Law Center. They take cases to court for human rights and equality and all that jazz.

IF you live in Europe or Asia, then I suggest you invest in your wildlands and in equality. It’s a very simple rule set to follow.

A link to the song “24” by Jem on Spotify.

Africa and South America: stop destroying the wildlands for human beings. The white man made you do that. Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

Anyway, one of my sacred missions is to stitch together all the myths of the past into a mosaic tile set that is pretty to look at and paints a picture. I have no idea what that picture is, but since our oldest known work of literature is Gilgamesh… I’m kind of saddened. It details a man who rapes newlywed womenfolk. That’s where I quit reading. Maybe line 100. The poem is missing so much information. If you know anything about poetry, you will know every single word is worth a million words, if chosen with care.

Also, those of you saving the planet with me: PLANT COFFEE IN GREENHOUSES WHERE YOU LIVE. Stop exploiting the rainforests for caffeine. Drink tea if you won’t bring the plant local. In fact, bring those plants local, as well. AND COCOA. They will do amazingly well slightly north or south of the equator in greenhouses that are properly ventilated in the summer months. God said so, so now, scientists: PROVE ME WRONG! DO IT! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO DENY THE EXISTENCE OF GOD. TELL ME HE’S WRONG.

And when you can’t, please comply. The future of our species depends upon stopping global trade. It depends on the eradication of money. It depends on legalized euthanasia and abortion for population control. It depends on the death sentence for psychopaths and killers who have stone cold hearts, taking lives for fun. It depends on reform for whomever is left, because we’re all fucked up these days thanks to psychopaths. God would know, He’s the original psychopath.

He told me once that Cain killed Abel for stealing Cain’s best crops to offer to God in sacrifice. And thence, Cain was exiled.

From the Encyclopedia Britannica: “He murdered Abel and was banished by the Lord from the settled country. Cain feared that in his exile he could be killed by anyone, so the Lord gave him a sign for his protection and a promise that if he were killed, he would be avenged sevenfold.”

If Cain was so wrong, why did God protect him?

And for you people out there searching for Eden, it’s the Mesopotamia region.

A map of ancient Mesopotamia overlapping modern political boundaries.

In essence, it’s IRAQ. It’s a little bit Iran, as well.

I will send healing to you, Eden. God bless you. Or Allah, if you please.

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