There’s this girl that walks through here every day. I just saw her again. A bright pink smudge amongst the rest of the masses. She was wearing these ridiculously oversized ears on top of her head. I wish I knew her name. Or who she was. She was smiling and it lit up the whole place. Everyone was so much happier after she came through. I don’t even understand it. I could literally feel myself getting lighter somehow.
It’s been a while since I’ve notice this happening, but it happens because of her, I know that. It’s beyond my shadow of doubt. I’ve seen it happen too many times. I’ve felt it happen too many times. In fact, every time I feel it, I look up to see if I can spot her and I usually do.
She’s a magician of some sort. I don’t know how she does it. I don’t even know if I want to know how she does it. I just know I’d miss it if it ever came to an end.
I’m thinking about asking her to go on a date with me. I just don’t know what to say to her. “Hi, my name is _____, and you make me all tingly all over” sounds more like a pickup line than my simple truth. It sucks because that’s the only way I know how to put it. I know she does it, but I don’t know if she knows she’s doing it. It will get very awkward very fast if she blinks at me, clueless as can be. She did that once before already.
I heard someone mocking her once. They were talking like a valley girl might if she was fawning over her own ears. But after watching her today, I don’t think she’s that kind of girl. I watched her walk up to the deli counter to order a sandwich. She had some sort of conversation with the boy behind there that was making sandwiches. In fact, she stood there for a time and waited for him to finish his current tasks. They exchanged words. He looked apologetic and kept flapping his lips. I’m thinking he was trying to keep her from walking away in disappointment, but I could be projecting. I wouldn’t want to disappoint her. She’s much more beautiful with a smile.
She had to have smiled at him after they were done exchanging words because he was smiling like a boy with his first crush as she left him standing there.
I’d die to know what they said to each other, honestly, but I don’t really care to ask him what it was about. I’m pretty sure someone else has already done that. This is the very first time she’s ever approached anyone in the delicatessen and she approached the sandwich guy, of all guys, some handsome 20 something kid who doesn’t know what he’s doing in life yet. I think I envy him.
I think everyone in this shop would like to know what she is about. I also think they’re afraid to talk to her. She’s different. She doesn’t dress like she’s going on a date more than maybe once a year from what I’ve seen, and that don’t scream date night to me. Not one bit. That screams, “Fuck everyone, I’m taking myself on a date.” Then she walks through here, a sassy little thing, and all these damn fools drool in the wake she leaves behind.
She seems too young for me, or I’d ask all about her. I see her all the time, fragile little thing with cute hair. If you’re lucky, a radiant smile that makes you wanna sing. And that fool she talked to can’t stop smiling now, either, so maybe some gossip will go around and inform an old man like myself what’s what about this little pixie girl. She’s the kind of girl that only comes along once in a lifetime, I think and it’s a damn shame I’m too old for her. Not that I got any problems with my woman, but damn, feeling like I’m walking on air just because the pixie came in to shop is real nice.
She gotta be some kind of magic. I got no idea what kind, though. The good kind; I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse just because she swept through the shop running her daily errands. I seen her looking at me once or twice, too. I have no idea what goes on behind those white girl eyes, but she don’t judge me. I can tell when a white girl judgin’, she ain’t like that. I can absolutely appreciate that. In fact, if she be looking miserable, she won’t look you in the eye at all. I noticed that a while ago, ‘cuz she shore ain’t happy these days. Well, that is, until today, I guess, based on that smiling fool behind the sandwich counter.
Yep, I knew it. That dick over in the deli just walked up to sandwich boy. He don’t look happy no more, wiped that grin right off his stupid face. I hate that kid. He brings about all kinds of negativity around these parts. Little boy think he a grown man for putting this ridiculous bandanna on his little white boy head to hold that hair up. Don’t get me wrong, I love the long hair, too, but I ain’t stupid enough to take a job that interferes wit it. I wear it the way I want to, a way that make my momma proud.
I think it’s about time I said something to management about that twat. I am so done watching him walk all over everyone else during his own breaks, taking up their damn time on the clock for nonsense that ain’t got nothing to do with making Wegmans a buck. He be wasting everyone’s time. Foolish, foolish white boy. I don’t know how you slid so long doing this, but I know it ain’t right for you to wipe a smile off a giddy school boy’s face for your nonsense. Let the kid enjoy the pixie girl’s attention, why don’t ya? You just jelly it wasn’t you, I know it.
I saw that girl stalking you and you didn’t do a damn thing about it when you had the chance, but now you gotta get up in sandwich boy’s face and take all his joy away? I can’t be having that on my watch, no siree. I can’t be having that in my store. I know I seen you talking to that dairy girl at least five times gone now, interrupting her work every god damn day some way or another, but you gotta be mean to a little boy who smiles at a girl you choose to ignore? Naw, this ain’t right. If that little pixie girl be looking at me that way, I’d let her know I’m a taken man or I’d be takin’ off on my woman, one or the other, none of this pussyfootin’ around, playin’ fool, playin’ pretend.
I don’t know what I’d be doing if she was eyeballin’ me all the time, but I’d at least talk to her and see what she all about. Maybe she don’t need a man, maybe she just too shy to axe a question. But she axed that little boy a question and now you sitting around slamming his hand in the door of opportunity just like that? Oh, no, he didn’t. I’m gonna go tell that boy to never mind that prick. There was nuthin he did to deserve whatever that asshole just said to him. He just smiled cuz a pretty girl smiled at him first. Now I’ll tell you that was hours ago, but it don’t matter. The boy be allowed to be happy. Everyone got a right to be happy.
I’m gonna ask that kid what she say to him. And I’m gonna ask him what that little prick said to him. I’m going to report his sorry ass every time I see him talkin’ to someone he ain’t got no business talking to. Sayonara, sucka! You won’t be here more than a week now. I hope you like that, now that you done piss Sansara off.
She liked you up to the moment you decided to pursue a different piece of pussy as prey, or should I say practice. Why didn’t you just talk to the little girl? Nobody knows except Sansara, God, and you.
Sansara & God: 1
Bandanna Man: -1