“WAKE UP,” he said again. “YOU NEED TO WAKE UP.” It was the third time. It was not quite shouting, but it was loud enough to wake any zombie from slumber.
“Wake up to what?” the other boy asked. Am I a sleeper agent?
“To your destiny!” declared the troublemonger.
Joe laughed at that. Destiny, indeed. As if such a thing even existed. “What’s my destiny?” he inquired curiously of Nicholas.
“To marry the girl,” Nicholas replied matter-of-factly. He was planning on pulling some sort of devastating trick, no doubt, but Crystal hadn’t yet caught on that Nick was at the helm, so she allowed it to continue. She was curious, because she was woken up in a similar manner.
“What girl? The girl I just saw at work… the one I’m thinking about right now?” Joe asked skeptically.
“Yes. You need to wake up,” Nick repeated, thinking he was getting somewhere while he was gaslighting God Himself rather than the deli man. (Confusing, we know. Hang in there…)
Nick: WAKE UP. YOU NEED TO WAKE UP!
Nick: YOUR DESTINY IS CALLING.
Nick: You have to save the girl.
God (as the deli man): What girl?
Nick: The girl you’ve been thinking about. She’s in peril.
God (as the deli man): How can I save the girl?
Nick: Marry her.
God (as the deli man): How is marrying a girl going to save her?
Nick: YOU ARE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTIONS.
God (as the deli man): Oh, there are better questions I could be asking, then… Who are you?
Nick: I am The Caretaker.
Nick: I take care of spirits and souls. It is my duty to make sure that each and every one of them wakes up. My name is… … … … … SANSARA SOLSINGER.
God (as the deli man): What kind of name is Sansara Solsinger?
Nick: The made up kind, obviously. I am Sansara Solsinger, messiah of the 21st century. I am here as your soul’s caretaker. There are only seven of you across the whole of Earth and I have to wake you up to your destiny or the entirety of humanity will cease to exist entirely.
Crystal wonders if Joe will fall in love with Sansara Solsinger, as well. Technically, she was Sansara and Crystal, trapped in the same body.
Nick: There’s a war to fight. The apocalypse has already happened, it’s just that nobody knows it yet. The war cannot be won if you do not fulfill your destiny.
God (as the deli man): I’m destined to marry her?
Nick: She’s in a weakened state and needs your love and affection. She is suicidal without it. Her job is to save the world. [Here, Nick thinks he’s got it in the bag… what man will want a woman who is suicidal?]
Nick: Destiny and fate are something like cause and effect. Taking different actions will lead to different results.
God (as the deli man): (Gives the impression of nodding.)
Nick: Your unfulfilled destiny is to marry the girl. I am giving her a diner in order to fulfill her mission. You would be working there alongside her, day in and day out.
God (as the deli man): (Gives the impression of his eyes widening in surprise and appreciation.)
Nick: You have your work cut out for you, but you must wake up to fulfill your destiny. There is a problem with mass poisoning all over the world. You will create recipes with her. You must decide which recipes will be given away or even sold in a recipe book and which will end up on the grocery shelves. The people will pay for their salvation. The diner is for taste testing each recipe and creating experiments together and then trying them out on a larger sample population. But, then again, I’m jumping ahead — you haven’t agreed to marry the girl yet.
God (as the deli man): I don’t not want to marry the girl, I just don’t know her. I don’t even know her name yet! By the way, my name is James. (PAUSE) I want to be with someone really nice, kind, and caring. Generous. Thoughtful. Loving, in a word.
Nick: She is all these things and much, much more.
“James”: Thinks about how the girl they were talking about didn’t even look at him today before he inquires of “Sansara”, “Was I supposed to chase after her tonight?”
Nick: No, you were not.
“James”: Do you have any advice on what I should do next to fulfill my destiny?
Nick: You should write down a list of your qualities and a list of qualities you’re looking for in another. You need to show her what you can bring to the table.
“James”: Can you tell me… is she physically attracted to me?
Nick: She is not currently physically attracted to you… She’s not built like other human beans. (MEANINGFUL PAUSE) Slow down there kid, stop letting your brain get ahead of you — human beings is what I meant to say. You will be attracted to her once you share your list of qualities with her. Rather, she will be attracted to you. She cares not for the physical body. She is more interested in your spiritual body. She is a spirit warrior.
Angel-Sansara 