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Le Tired

Today has been a whirlwind. It has left me tired.

I was on my feet in the kitchen all day, making endless foodstuffs. I didn’t finish with this week’s menu, so I’ll be back tomorrow… if I can stand up in the morning, anyway.

I made beef stew (and had it with toast for dinner), I made a bunch of beef actually because I buy it in bulk. I mixed some into the final remnants of the goulash in the fridge. The rest is chilling solo, waiting to be used in other dishes. I find it easier to cook individual ingredients and store them so that I can combine them into whatever I want on the fly.

I made a giant batch of rice pudding since the rice wasn’t disappearing in good time; I suspect it will now that I’ve added a boat load of sugar to it. My father insists he wouldn’t eat it because it wasn’t soft enough, but I’m pretty sure he just loves sugar and figured it’d get turned into rice pudding if it stuck around. The man should have gone to the moon already if 2.5 cups of sugar is all you really need to get there. [Goofy Movie] Don’t tell him I only used 1.5 cups of real milk out of the 3 cups of “milk” required… He taste tested it and gave it a thumbs up already. He’d change his mind to spite me.

I made some more peanut butter frosting… this time, with real sugar. It’s not for me… I was trying to keep mine for my peanut butter cake, thus I made a second batch with a sugar-laden peanut butter to go with the strawberry upside down cake. I don’t think my mother even knows the difference, honestly. The bacteria in her gut do, though; that’s why I made it with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! (which is totally not dairy-free, defeating the whole purpose of an alternative to butter, if you ask me, but sates those pesky bacteria as I slowly murder them.)

In case you weren’t aware, dear reader, dairy and gluten cultivate very special evil bacteria and yeast in your guts, which, as they die off, send a strong signal to you in order to convince you to binge-eat either one. This is the true secret of binging carbs, my friend! I will even tell you how to resolve it, if you wish:

Slowly replace these two things with alternatives, six weeks at a time. So, in the first six week spurt (which is about how long it takes between Halloween to Thanksgiving, by the by), you use 3/4 of what you normally would in the dairy/gluten arena in all your recipes. (Yes, you have to make your own food, but don’t you want to stop binging?) Then the next 6 weeks after that, go half and half. Then another six weeks of 3/4 the new regime and 1/4 the old… and then you go dairy/gluten-free completely. Good luck.

Anyway for those of you who give a shit about all the ridiculous kitchen time I had today, I discovered you cannot freeze avocado without it turning into rubber. I never tried before, so don’t judge me. I was quite dismayed when I was unable to have smashed avocado toast, I’ll tell you. Next time, I’ll smash it up and put it in an air-tight container and hope for the best while I take my time coming around to the 2nd half of the fruit.

I also had a ton of stupid conversations with myself. I almost don’t remember any of it… I do remember the reiki God’s been showing me to try to kill it, though. You see, a lot of boys are in my head, influencing me and my decisions… and all of them are missing my cooking or thinking about it. That’s the real deal with being in the kitchen all day. I’ve gone half a year of barely giving a shit about anything and now, suddenly, almost against my will, I am a cooking machine again?

I call shenanigans.

Anyway, you can fetch a couple of recipes from this journal if you are interested. I totally recommend the peanut butter frosting. I could eat that !@(*# straight. In fact, maybe I will. I bought more peanut butter today in anticipation of needing way more frosting.

Tomorrow, because there’s still room in the refrigerator, I’ll be creating macaroni salad — I’m pretty sure that’s an American phenomenon — and cooking liver & onions. I have to buy onions first, though; I kind of forgot during today’s trip to the store. I think I might hit up Sam’s Club. I’d totally be cheating on Wegmans to do it, but I’m in need of stretching the budget. I can probably get a month’s worth of onions there for almost the same price as two small bags at W’s.

Is this where I bid farewell to deli men? Hmm. Perhaps. It’s definitely where I say hello to hottie stocker dude at Sam’s Club. #EyeCandy. I don’t wanna say too much because, obviously, this is a public forum. I’m almost certain he overheard me fangirling, though. “Whoops!” #SorryNotSorry!

Shake It Off by Taylor Swift on YouTube

Plus, Sam’s Club most likely has a sugar added apple PIE! Gramps is jonesing, wouldn’t you know? I’ll be making my own apple pie, too, but I know he won’t eat it because it won’t have sugar in it. I should have just waited to buy apples… I probably paid twice as much for them at Wegmans. (But the quality!!!! — Please, half those bags had bruised apples thanks to neanderthals.)

The bonus to buying so many onions is I can make French onion soup. It’s been almost a year since I made that. ❤

The only thing that Wegmans has that Sam’s doesn’t is dairy-free “cheese” and gluten-free pizza crusts. Oh, and milk? I don’t know how they didn’t have any yesterday when I went with my mother. However, since the budget no longer allows extravagance and since I can’t eat pepperoni anyway due to my issues with the nightshade family, that kind of ruins pizza for me.

I’d have to get a legitimate job to afford this silly “not cheese”… which I’d love to do, if I wasn’t busy fighting cancer. And, of course, insanity thanks to the Kundalini Awakening.

Whatever do you mean, Sansara? Life’s fantastic!

Buy that one and I’ll sell you another.

Safety Dance by Men Without Hats on YouTube.

I’ll leave you to ruminate on this preposterous video that I happen to love. I count one pupper dog, three horses, two chicken head masks, one panda head mask(?), two puppets, and one mandolin. Wanna dance?

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