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Court is Adjourned

The trial started today. I’ve been preparing for it all year, but I’m not ready yet, it seems. There was a motion for mistrial before we even began, which seems like a typical movie plot. The reason? The defendant is deceased.

That is not sufficient for postponing the trial. However, the fact that I have not yet fully recovered is a reason. Thank the Heavens! I need more time to put myself back together.

I spent over two hours talking to the defendant today on the stand before this decision was made. I think I must move in with Diego before I can regenerate enough of my spirit to withstand the assessment.

You see, I am here to judge the dead. All of the dead. The types of crimes that can be committed are defined, but each of the deceased must be judged for the role they played in life itself. The vain will be condemned. The homicidal and suicidal will be condemned. The fornicators will be condemned.

It’s my job to decide who is guilty of which crimes. It is arduous and trying, to say the least. It’s probably going to take me the rest of my life to survey all two trillion souls waiting to go to their final destination. Purgatory. It’s the final destination for all. The experience you have there will be different based on the good you did in life, based on the karma you accrued in goodwill. Those who are positively aligned will perceive it as heaven and those who are negatively aligned shall perceive it as hell. We all go there, whether we like it or not.

For thousands of years, thirteen sinners have escaped the cycle of judgment, purgatory, and rebirth. Instead of going to learn their lessons for everything terrible they’d done in purgatory, they are reborn. Those sinners shall be held accountable for 33 lifetimes of ill will. This will restore peace to the universe once it is complete, a valuable common goal to have, I’d say.

The charges include:

  • Assisted suicide via coercion
  • Genocide
  • Mass murder
  • Mass poisoning
  • Murder
  • Poisoning
  • Emotional abuse
  • Physical abuse
  • Intellectual abuse
  • Spiritual abuse

There are many more crimes against The Universe(TM) to charge these thirteen sinners with. That is just the beginning.

The sinners to be judged are:

  • Arron
  • Ada
  • Ammon
  • Amen/Amon
  • Benjamin
  • Ezekiel
  • Gabriel
  • Immanuel
  • Jeremiah
  • Zachariah
  • James
  • Israel
  • Jesus
  • Joel
  • Joshua
  • Judah
  • Josiah
  • Moses
  • Solomon
  • Thomas
  • Hannah
  • Jezebel
  • Eve
  • Esther
  • Judas
  • Rebecca
  • Ruth
  • Vashti
  • Paul
  • Candace
  • Chloe
  • Bathsheba
  • Adam
  • Stephen

Okay, it’s more than thirteen. Or I had to hide them so you wouldn’t feel obligated to dollop even more hatred on them after all these years. Your choice!

Life is, after all, a choose-your-own-adventure kind of novel. I’m still trying to choose between Boy A and Boy B. I have very little luck in deciding which one I’d prefer as of yet because they are both fantasies that have yet to take on a realistic shape, let alone a body.

Where, O where is my prince charming?

He must be fishing.

Or should I say cat fishing?

Leave It All Behind by Nya Jade on YouTube.

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