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Somewhere Over The Rainbow…

Lies Asgard, supposedly.

What on Earth am I doing these days? I walk through life, a zombie. Not even. I’m standing still. I’m already dead. I’ve been dead for years now. Here’s my advice to the living: don’t do this at home, folks.

I think, in the event that my body be discovered one day because of a psycho murdering deli man, perhaps I should describe him in detail, God says.

Well, alright then. Probably the most prominent feature is his dark, dark brown eyes. They looked almost like night from a distance, glimmering with tiny dancing pools of light. His hair is long. It was shoulder length before, then the last time I saw him, it was about waist length. It’s dark brown. You can tell it’s not black when he is wearing his black ball cap.

He wore an apron every day I happened to see him on shift at Wegmans between 9/9/2021 and… uh… I don’t know when he got canned. Sometime around summer time, I guess, of 2022. I didn’t really notice as my attention had shifted elsewhere. His apron was black. I bought a three pack just like them from Sam’s Club on a whim one day when God told me he was going to be my future husband.

Apparently, The Loki were in the house then or now. It’s hard to say, really.

Anyway, he’s got sort of thin lips. Classically handsome, I’d guess, but being that I don’t really like the word handsome and simultaneously all men are handsome, I’m uncomfortable saying so. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He always wore white or black the few times I did actually catch sight of him. He’s about 5’6″ or 5’7″, which is my own height. So, maybe below average height, all in all. He wasn’t fat or thin really, just solid? No tattoos that I saw, no piercings that I saw.

And, you know, Wegmans has security footage, future police officers. kthxbye.

P.S. His name is Bob. He’s a chef at Perkins now… and still not learning lessons about hair nets, apparently, as his position is in jeopardy there, as well. Peach Street Perkins. And he lives near The Red Fox Inn, where he likes to go watch the sports ball games. And he’s roommates with the Tattooed Dragon Man who works in the tattoo shop in the mall, presumably. He has a septum piercing and tattoos on his right arm (if not both arms) — just ask around, I guess. Can’t be too many of those in one place, can there?

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