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I’m Mad

I spent two years chasing rainbows. I finally get to the end of the rainbow and all that’s there is a pile of dog shit. Thanks, Universe.

I finally telepathically connect to another human being, cognizantly, and he has a girlfriend. What kind of joke is this, anyway? Whose line is it? Where are we? Why hasn’t the bulk of mankind woken up to the fact that we’re constantly pinging each other in our brains? Trust me, I wish they would. Then maybe men would stop raping me in their thoughts. Women, too, but very rarely.

No, the women are more likely to heap outright hatred on me. OMG she’s so pretty I hate her for existing. That’s what it boils down to. I don’t care to repeat their specific vitriol. (You’re a bitch! … No, I think that you looked in the mirror too long and started confusing me for you.)

I really didn’t ask to be privy to your thoughts, Children of Eden. I didn’t ask for you to share with me your vitriol, your anger, your bull shit. No. I asked for nothing, but you ask and ask for everything you cannot have.

Especially that deli man who has a wife… not just a girlfriend… but yearns for my precious Crystal. He yearns for something more, something deeper, something bigger than just he himself. All while he has a wifey poo on the side. The wife is incidental in his world; she’s there to bolster his self-esteem and make him feel good on the inside while she withers away from lack of inattention.

He’s another Ben, Crystal says suddenly. I was a wife like that! Fuck that guy!

I’ll take the Mountain Dragon Man, thank you. I don’t need to convince him I have value because he knows all life is valuable. The Mountain Dragon Man is poised and reserved. He doesn’t just get his dick wet in between his great adventures with womankind, no. He’s looking for real love. He’s looking for a meaningful relationship. He’s looking to be valued in return for everything he is, and, sometimes… most importantly… everything he is not.

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