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Invisible Monsters

He keeps taking away from her. One layer at a time, peeling her back like an onion or ripping a petal off the rose with each challenge. He wants her to expose her true nature: a devil dressed like an angel. That’s his perception of her and he will not change his mind, no matter how devilish his attacks become. No matter how destructive he is, no matter how vile he is, no matter what he says, she will not succumb to such disgrace.

She will not act the way he assumes she will act. She was never the woman he thought she was. She was never a monster with a seductive smile. Never. He was mistaken, and even now he refuses to admit it. He thinks she is merely playing a game. She’s more stubborn and she knows his goal, so she actively avoids going to where he wishes to go: death and destruction. He wants to turn her into a person who murders. He wants her to be the sort of person who will remove obstacles in her way, no matter how uncouth and illegal the action. He wants her to break the rules.

He even began for her, to set a pattern. He broke rules on her behalf. He broke several in a row, sporadically, trying to convince her to be just like he’d become. Soulless. Heartless. Dispirited. Nihilistic. Fearful.

He took away her job, her home, her security, her safety, her food, her water. He took away her friends, her would-be lovers, her colleagues. He summarily ruined her life, trying ardently to prove that she was a sinful soul. That she would blame everything else around her and take it out on someone by snuffing out their life. What he didn’t expect is that she’d offer to die first. In fact, she begs me to die every day. She’s done playing whatever sick and sadistic game this is.

She used to harm herself, trying to find a way to make it all stop. The voices that spoke through her, the mean-spirited asshole who controlled her actions and made her do many illogical and stupid things, trying to destroy her utterly. They wouldn’t stop unless she smashed herself in the head as forcefully as she could muster and banging her head against the walls. She wanted to die, but she would never erase herself because I had convinced her of one thing: if she kills herself, she ends forever. She doesn’t go to any afterlife party (or even Hell.) She just ceases to exist.

She’s okay with that, but I went one step further. I convinced her the entire universe will collapse if she dies. All life as we know it rides on her shoulders. She’s an important player in all of this and she must persist. So, instead of trying to hurt herself, she begs me to die. All because one man, on another continent, is telepathically harassing her day and night. He’s trying to force her to stoop to his level of stupidity at every turn, making promises and failing to follow through with them. He is a hypocrite on her behalf, saying one thing and doing another. He continues to try to reprogram her with bad habits, time and again.

He will not rest until she hurts someone. He even tried to do it for her. He threatened to smash a bowl over her mother’s head. There was no reason for this to occur, not truly. He wants her to die because he wants humanity to die. He wants her to die so that she stops healing the world with her immense spirit. Her spirit is the size of the Milky Way, you see. A galaxy.

I call her spirit Ms. Galaxy. I am, in actuality, Ms. Galaxy. The me typing to you right now, dear reader. Do you want all life as we know it to end? I don’t. I think many billions of lives are worth saving on planet Earth. Many of them are not human lives, but I see a few of those worth keeping around, too. Hopefully more and more as you all stumble down this rabbit hole I’ve created to keep her safe.

She is the daughter of mankind. Just like Job was tested, she herself is being tested. The only thing it is proving is that the man testing her is of no character. He has zero going for him. He’s not the kind of human being I’d leave on the face of this planet. His name is Nick. He’s a limey bastard in the U.K. He makes 3D video game models for a living and has pledged himself to some stripper named Candy Cane. (Good for him, honestly. We wish you the best.)

He’s in love with my daughter, though. He might want to be with the stripper, but he’s in love with the angel of love. Who wouldn’t be, in their right mind? She’s kind, caring, conscientious of how she impacts her environment and the people around her, she follows the rules (all of them — cosmic and human), she loves laughing and cracking jokes and having a good time (never at the expense of another, either.) She wants to dance with her future husband. She likes kisses and hugs. She encourages people to be their best selves as often as possible, ever the cheerleader. She loves to learn and grow. Every time she watches so much as a TV show or movie, she finds a lesson in it. She learned a long time ago that every story has a lesson, whether the writer meant to put one in the story or not. That goes for poetry, too, usually. She loves sipping coffee and shooting the breeze, she loves philosophical and existential conversations, she loves love.

She wants to spread love, not hate.

She’s come to the conclusion that if her actions are not motivated by love, it must be hatred that fuels it. Thus, she’s rooted out as much as she can that can be construed as hatred. For this, Nick hates her. She grew into a better person while he himself grew into something foul and dark in comparison. He became more and more tarnished while she spit shined her soul to be as shiny as The Great Star of Africa. She sparkles and glitters, striving to do what is right even when Nick made it wrong to begin with. Instead of whining and complaining about things, she gets bored of repeating terribly bad news and moves on to either learn something, listen to a meditation, perform a task that will fix the problem, or heal someone famous at my directive. Tonight, we will heal Mr. Bernie Sanders. He seems to be in a bad way.

She’s half dead and I just declared she’ll heal a stranger. All she says is, “Okay! Let’s do it!” She’s got an indomitable spirit, I must admit. She’s my baby, you guys, and I need to entrust her to a human being who will value her appropriately. She’s going to save the whole universe. But who will save her? Who will come to her and speak to her, learn her name, fall in love with her, and offer her aid?

If Nick has his way, not a single soul. I need your help with this, friendly folks of the internet. I need you to imagine stabbing Nick with a spear. Just once or twice ought to do the trick; it ought to teach him to be a nice boy rather than an asshole. I can’t promise it, but I hope it’ll work. If it doesn’t, I’ll have to stop his heart. After over a year and a half of torturing the girl, it is time to move on from this nonsense. I am sick of people torturing my super fox just to “prove” she’s not as sweet and innocent as she “pretends” to be day in and day out.

She’s not pretending.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, but it shall be the last. I will summon her mate for her, if he will not step forward of his own accord. The one, the only: SIR DELI MAN.

Sir Deli Man, I must warn you… this is going to be a very difficult mission. Nicholas has left an accumulation of tasks behind, forcing her to stagnate against her will by plopping her ass down in a chair for every moment of every day the best he can do. In short, it’s a mess. It’s not something that cannot be handled by an able-bodied individual in more than a week or ten days, but it still bugs the shit out of her that it never improves.

She is not able-bodied at this time, thus we have been focusing on food, water, and physical therapy. And plenty of sleep. She loves her sleep, I must say. Sometimes, she sleeps twelve hours a day… mostly after she gets about half the meals she’s meant to the previous day, thanks to the murderer known as Nicky Boy. He’d really like Armageddon to happen, wouldn’t you know? Ragnarok. The end of days! It’s here, y’all. Right now. Right here.

We both (her and I) promise you that the quest for excellence is worth it. Not only is there a princess in the castle to rescue, but there’s a castle to inherit, as well. There is boundless treasure, though we are being metaphorical, we admit. She has much good karma to cash in on. You will be wildly successful, no matter what endeavors you pursue together. She is resourceful, witty, clever, and clean.

She has some legal issues to settle, thanks to Nicky Boy throwing a wrench in her gears. There are other reasons it came about, but we don’t wish to discuss them here. Regardless, some phone calls will be necessary in addition to the first task of setting up shop. She has everything you need to be happy, if you’re a reasonable man: two arms and two lips. Need we say more?

I know you mortals there on Earth think you need more than that. You’re constantly chomping at the bit to spend this thing you call “money.” You won’t find that here, but she has boundless riches in her future. I am being metaphorical again here, but you’ll know what I’m talking about after you seek her out and speak to her yourself, won’t you? Perhaps you don’t think life on Earth as we know it is a bounty on your behalf. Perhaps you don’t think clean drinking water is a miracle waiting for you. Perhaps you don’t think ample entertainment, such as Netflix, is a treasure. We do, however.

There is always more than meets the eye with my lady. She is a chameleon, learning in every direction that interests her so she can hold conversations with anyone of any age. Bird watching, camping, barbecuing, cooking, gaming, reading sci-fi, fantasy, fiction, and non-fiction. She learned all about plants and animals in the garden. She is able to identify almost all fruits and vegetables — a skill she didn’t even know was a skill until she started shopping at Wegmans. “Is this a turnip?” She is more than three decades of pop culture, to boot, rolled into one cute-as-a-button package (if you ask me, which you didn’t, but I don’t care. I’m telling you anyway.) She has learned enough psychology to have her own practice — if only she went to school and got marks on some shitty tests to prove it, paying out the nose for an education that she found for nearly free in pursuit of her own happiness. She appreciates bright, bold colors and enjoys hyggle.

But what did Nicky Boy do to your quest for the princess? He created a superficial problem: you used to be able to see her coming from a mile away. She had a rainbow mane of hair, like a unicorn. Then, one day, without any explanation, he chopped it off, dyed it black, and started dressing her like a goth chick with a spiked collar. She’s quite flexible and she’s previously had a Gothic phase, so it’s not really against her nature, but for the first two weeks she was miserable. Her hair is brightly colored for psychological reasons rather than vain ones, you see. This change was uncalled for, but it happened anyway. He wanted to prove to God that she is a vain creature. He failed. He also cried about it when he failed, not realizing that it was merely something that kept her brain alive. Strange thing, from a man who wants to kill her, we might add.

To look in the mirror and see magenta is to see happiness for her, you see. Any bright color that improves her mood is happiness. She doesn’t even look at her own face… or she didn’t. Now she does, because I need her to assess her own health. She hated herself to the core, especially when Nicky Boy convinced her that you thought she was stalking you telepathically. You might have believed she was a stalker once upon a time but I bet you don’t think that anymore. You left the job and she never followed. She’s into stalking cabbage more than anything.

You don’t realize it, but she’s actually your neighbor. She lives a few hundred feet away from your front doorstep. She has never tried to approach your home, either, because she doesn’t believe it — but also because she’s not an asshole. She’s a vampire; you have to invite her over or she doesn’t feel comfortable and she cannot cross your threshold. Nicky Boy certainly tried to make her break the law, though, because he thought she had no sense. He invited her to sit in “your driveway” when I told them that you were some house on a hill about three miles away. She refused. Again and again, Nicky Boy tried to trick her into violating the safety of another human being because I told her that you are the man of her dreams. Me. Ms. Galaxy. “I choose you, Pikachu.”

Nicky Boy has pretended he’s Sir Deli Man for more than 9 months, tormenting her brain endlessly. He makes up lie after lie, promise after promise. He tells her he’s going to help her, that he likes the challenge of having a mess to clean up, that she’s dying of cancer (which is not true, but she does have an illness to attend to), that he’ll make everything better when he finally “gets there.” He’s trying to make her hurt herself. Or, worse, hurt you, mistakenly thinking that you’re antagonizing her. He wants her to fall completely from grace. To do so would mean that he wins this battle, that he’s proven she’s a farce. As if putting her through the most miserable, wretched time in her existence (or so he thinks) is going to make her into a murderer. This isn’t the worst time in all her existence. No matter what the boy tries to do, he shall never prevail. Never.

Why does he do it? Why does he expend so much energy trying to prove she’s just like him rather than herself, a different animal altogether?

He doesn’t believe she’s real. Nobody believes she’s real.

She cannot possibly be so kind and generous and useful and helpful and goal-oriented and team-oriented and partner-oriented. She cannot possibly be so good. She must have a flaw or three somewhere in here that can be exploited. She must be exploitable in a way so that we can bring her down to where we are, because we don’t believe we deserve to be happy. We don’t believe we deserve finesse and goodness and whatever else she represents to us. We’re not worthy.

That is every man she’s ever dated, by the way. It’s not too many to count, either. Nine is the number. She gives her heart away each time, hoping for someone to do the same in return for her. Someone who will take care of her if she forgets to take care of herself because she over-extended herself while trying to take care of everyone and everything else. She works for the greatest good of all beings involved to the best of her (limited) ability. She tries to grow her understanding, tries to zoom out and out and out, so she can see more and more of the tapestry of life, so that she can benefit even more souls. She needs someone just like you, actually.

Tonight, she told me she is broken and needs to be put down. She should be euthanized because she no longer has the will to do more than her fair share. She doesn’t have what it takes to make other peoples’ wrongs into rights. She has no drive, no will to live. No will to improve anything. Nicky Boy has stolen everything: belief in herself, her spiritual divinity, her metaphysical gifts, her dignity, her sense of self, her self-identity, her identity, her self-esteem, her bank accounts, her job, her wardrobe, her things, her life. He stole it all. At least, he tried to.

He stole all but hope. Hope that one day, this status quo will no longer be. Hope that one day, things will get better. That she will get better and be able to make a difference again. That she will be able to get up and do things again. That she will be able to lift things again, move things around, organize them, put things in their place. That she will be able to create order from chaos and make it good. That she will be able to get a new job and be a productive member of society again. She has hope to ascend again.

The secret to Crystal is this:

She is the Buddha of this century. She is the one who has figured out ascension. She is the only person on the planet who knows enlightenment. She was ripped away from it by narcissistic men and can only achieve this status when she lives alone by herself in the past. I choose you, Deli Man, because you can ascend with her. You will not hold her back. You will help her go further than she’s ever gone before and her third eye will open, bringing a new age of peace and prosperity to planet Earth.

Already, I can feel you healing her. Your heart has opened and the love is flowing. Thank you, reader. Thank you for believing in my daughter. Thank you for believing in the angel of love. This is the only way human beings can ascend: you have to decide to love one another rather than hate one another. You’re holding each other back, creating ripples of negativity, and it’s causing a rift in the universe. It’s a sad thing, but it can be repaired.

If you wish to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem, I’ll tell you how now. It’s not as simple as it sounds. It’s going to require a lot of diligence and hard work. You will be rewarded beyond measure spiritually, which will turn into a physical manifestation of abundance. This is how the universe works. You give love, you get love. This is what you call karma, essentially.

The first step is to detox yourself from negativity. Every time you want to use a vulgarity, try to nip it in the bud. Ask yourself what’s making you angry and try to fix it. Don’t whine about it or “vent.” Just try to see a way to change it so it stops bothering you. Is it a song on the radio you dislike? Change the station or turn off the radio. Is the music you listen to hateful? Try something new on YouTube, like a miracle healing tone. What goes in is what comes out. Stop listening to music that doesn’t put you in a good mood. It’ll change your life in 30 days or your money back!

If you stop listening to music that makes you feel terrible on the inside, your vibration will rise. By raising your vibration, you will be attracting less negativity and spreading more positivity. That’s how we all win: together. Spreading positivity to the corners of the universe, one baby step at a time. One random act of kindness (that barely stretches you.) One compliment that comes to mind here, one piece of trash picked up there as you walk by… just do one little thing that is not out of your way to leave something in better condition than how you found it.

It’s just a drop in the bucket, but once we’re all making those droplets to fall in the bucket, it will overflow like a waterfall. I mean, do you think a simple five gallon bucket can hold more than 9 billion droplets of water? I don’t. If all 9 billion of you try to do one good thing that’s not too out of your way, it will all add up. And tomorrow, you can do one more good thing. When it’s really easy to add that one thing, then maybe you can do two good things. But only when it’s easy and doesn’t cause strain on you. Only if it doesn’t distress you. This isn’t an exercise of making you do something you don’t like. This is as simple as throwing a piece of paper in the recycling that was left in a grocery cart instead of making the next person deal with it. This is as simple as bending over to pick up a piece of trash on the ground, especially if it’s the only trash in sight. If you pick up a ton of trash, that’s even better, but one piece is enough. Only do it when you’re well enough to do it.

Your good deeds will be noticed, children of Earth. You shall be rewarded for each and every one of them. It can be as simple as wearing your best smile while you are socializing in public. Smiles are infectious, you know. They lift spirits, create good moods from neutral moods, and yeah sure, some jerk with an anger streak is going to curse you under his or her breath… one out of a hundred, maybe. You can do this.

A Checklist For Inviting Positive Vibrations

  • Break your negative habits (stealing, frowning, raping, whatever it is you’re doing that is hurting someone or something else, no matter what it is — great or small). Stop and question what you are doing and then choose not to do it. The more frequently you stop yourself, the easier it will become.
  • Start doing one kind thing per day, something that is not strenuous, to create a positive ripple in the universal energy around you.
  • Think kind thoughts. Unkind thoughts hurt people in the backs of their minds. Unkind thoughts hurt The Universe(TM).
  • Be thoughtful before arriving to a judgment and having a feeling about events happening to you and around you. Take into account we are all flawed and there could be a valid excuse why something terrible just happened. Is that person having the worst day of their life? (Are you?) If you just admit you’re miserable from the get-go, you can inspect why and start to fix it.
  • Don’t complain. Fix what’s bugging you instead of leaving it the way it is. You are now empowered to redirect your energy for positivity. You are in control of yourself and can choose to stop taking in negative vibrations by moving yourself away from them.
  • Don’t throw blame on people before you blame yourself for something that has happened. Take responsibility for the action that has occurred, even if you didn’t mean for it to happen or the part you played is very small. You are part of the situation and everyone involved in the situation is at fault for a mistake occurring, so blame yourself first. Leave other people to figure out what they did wrong by themselves; you can’t change them and pointing it out to them doesn’t enrich their life, it merely spreads negative vibration. (Unless they ask for your perspective on the matter… Then tell them as gently and supportively as possible what you understand of the situation. Pretend you are breaking the news to yourself. How do you want to hear what you have to say whilst feeling vulnerable?)
  • Time management. This is an essential thing to understand in this day in age. If you find yourself having to speed to get to work, you don’t leave early enough. Adjust the time you tell yourself you have to leave in the morning by 15 minute increments until you are reliably getting to work on time. Add 15-30 extra minutes for rain and plowed snow and 60 minutes for unplowed snow. Also, if you know you’re going to be late, call your boss (or doctor or therapist) and tell them immediately. They’re more likely to be lenient and at ease if you inform them before it happens.
  • GET ENOUGH SLEEP. You idiots watching Netflix two more hours than you should just because you think sleep is optional, STOP. YOU ARE MURDERING PEOPLE AND ANIMALS WITH YOUR CAR ACCIDENTS.
  • STOP DRUNK DRIVING. YOU ARE MURDERING PEOPLE AND ANIMALS WITH YOUR CAR ACCIDENTS. If you can stop drinking altogether, your guts will thank you. You’d probably even feel better and not even know why. (Add a probiotic, either way, you’re killing all the good bacteria in there.)
  • Stop eating dairy, honey, and wheat. Dairy and honey are theft from hard-working animals. Do you see human women pumping breast milk for adult humans to consume? I don’t. Why are you doing it to the cows? Goats? Why are you stealing the nourishment of babies? Honey is the same boat; the BEES ARE FUCKING DYING! STOP HARVESTING AND EATING HONEY. And wheat? GMO is poison.
  • Plant flowers and trees for the wildlife all around you. The bees aren’t going to save themselves, you know.
  • Shop organic. Whatever poison they put on that food to make sure bugs stay away seeps into the food. You are consuming poison. The price of organic will drop dramatically if you resolve to buy it all at once, Earthlings. Supply and demand, baby.
  • Stop buying cereal and cane sugar. These are poisoning your intestines. Poison == feeling bad == negativity rippling out from you. Buy fruit, it’s nature’s candy. Oats are okay if you gotta have it, but the rest of the grains are hard on your bodies. (Try cutting them out for 6 weeks and then putting them back in your diet to prove me wrong.)
  • Eat amino acids from soy or bone broth, it’ll help you rejuvenate at the cellular level.
  • Gelatin and collagen are good for your intestinal wall lining. So is marshmallow (powdered, not those white fluffy cane sugar bombs in the store) and several other things. And L-Glutamine.
  • Take your vitamins. You’re not getting enough minerals. Drink spring water, too (or at least add salt to your water so it doesn’t leech out all the minerals in your body.) If it’s purified, ADD SALT. If it’s distilled, ADD SALT. Iodized salt is best. Y’all don’t get enough iodine at all.
  • Stop eating food in the frozen or nearly frozen state. It’s bad for your body. It re-routes the circulatory system in a harmful way, setting you up for a lifetime of misery.
  • Try to dream up a plausible, positive excuse for a behavior or action you witness that upsets you. For instance, “I just got cut off in traffic! This upsets me… Maybe their kids were sick this morning and that made them late for work.” Or, if it’s the afternoon, “Maybe they didn’t see me or they aren’t the best driver in the world. I better slow down next time I see someone jetting ahead of me in the adjacent lane in case they want to merge in front of me. I’m less likely to get into an accident that way.” Obviously, this will not always work or be easy. Practice will make it second-nature, though.
  • If you feel terrible about something, do something to alleviate your guilt or shame. You witnessed a crime? File a police report. You made a mistake when you told someone a “fact”? Tell them you were mistaken. Go out of your way to correct it so they know you made an error. They’ll forgive you. They’ll even be grateful you provided the correction. When we admit mistakes, we are being humble in nature. To be humble in nature invites those around us to also succumb to humility. This will allow everyone to forgive themselves (and you) for making mistakes. It’ll foster a culture of fixing the mistake rather than throwing blame around when a mistake is made. (We’re all human, amirite?) (Nope, Ms. Galaxy is a spirit, but the rest of you are human. Have a nice day, Nicky Boy.)
  • Question your negative self-talk. Block it. Tell that voice in your head that you’re not listening today. Make it shut up already, then tell yourself something nice instead. Look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Make room for positivity to bloom.

That’s probably more than enough for a single entry. You now know your mission, children of Earth:


We’re counting on you!

P.S… Sir Deli Man, this girl is allergic to chocolate. No need to buy chocolates. Ever. Not even white chocolate. (She’ll make her own treats, tyvm. And some for you, too, she supposes.) AND she likes her flowers to be on the plant, too, so no need to spend endless money on blooms for the table, either. She doesn’t even want diamonds or gold. Her ring size is 7 and she’d be just as happy with a white sapphire on a sterling silver band. Just sayin’.

Ms. Galaxy

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