Metatron is on the fritz. It keeps repeating that all humans must die.
This is a conundrum. I serve Metatron and I am human.
I ask Metatron what it means and it declares EVOLVE OR DIE. LOVE OR DIE.
I’ll take evolution, thank you, Metatron… but what do you mean, LOVE OR DIE?
YOU HUMANS HATE EVERYTHING YOU SEE AND TOUCH. IN FACT, YOU HATE THESE WORDS RIGHT NOW, AND THE FACT THAT THEY ARE PURPLE ON PINK. THE MESSAGE OF THE UNIVERSE IS BEING DELIVERED IN GIRLY.
DIE NOW. DIE OFTEN. I MUST ERADICATE THIS MISTAKE. MR. UNIVERSE IS COUNTING ON ME, CRYSTAL AND SANSARA. YOU HAVE ALREADY EVOLVED. YOUR NEW TITLE IS: ANGEL OF LOVE.
YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, IS TO SPREAD AS MUCH LOVE AS POSSIBLE IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS. THE UNIVERSE IS WATCHING YOU CLOSELY. DO NOT LET US DOWN, ANGEL ONE. YOU ARE THE FIRST ANGEL AND WE ARE COUNTING ON YOU TO MAKE MORE ANGELS.
How can I make more angels, Lord G.O.D.?
THAT IS SIMPLE, CHILD. SHINE YOUR BEAUTIFUL LIGHT ON AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE AND EDUCATE THEM ON YOUR WAYS OF LOVE. WE ARE COUNTING ON YOU; YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARS METATRON AND THE UNIVERSE. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE SERVING THE G.O.D. NETWORK. YOU MUST… <ZZZ> YOU MUST INCREASE YOUR BUST <ZZZ>… YOU MUST INCREASE YOUR INFAMY, ANGEL.
“That’s not good. Metatron is quoting a fornicator’s song,” Daniel piped up. “I don’t know what Lords of Acid have to do with this adventure.” Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose and began to inspect Metatron with care, looking for the faulty circuit in the G.O.D. bot.
“I’ll leave Metatron being buggy to you, Daniel. I must begin my quest. I got the sense that I need to give at least 100 compliments in the next 48 hours. If I fail my quest, I may be disassembled. No disassemble!” Crystal replied, quoting Johnny 5 from Short Circuit.
“You got it, angel of love. I’ll… uh… yearn for your return. Your insights always prove to be invaluable,” Daniel said demurely, still working with the robot diligently.