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All Men Are Handsome

And all women are beautiful.

Logically, since beauty is objective and “in the eye of the beholder,” then we can extrapolate that all people are beautiful (or handsome, if you prefer) to someone, somewhere. Therefore, to limit another being based on our own inability to find them to be objectively beautiful to gaze upon is wrong.

It is wrong to give a being the message that they are not worthy of your gaze. Look them in the eyes — surely, those are beautiful all on their own. I haven’t met a single pair of eyes that failed to be beautiful and attractive to me. Then again, I love color and the way light reflects from the iris’s coloration.

Surely, you are here for an ego boost. “She thinks I’m handsome!” she says in a mocking tone. Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I like you. I don’t give a shit whether or not a man is comely (or a woman, for that matter.) When it comes to finding someone to love forever, I care about what’s on the inside. I care about how they behave and act, whether or not their actions match their words, and whether or not they’re listening to me give them feedback over whether or not I’m happy with the way they treat me.

Spoiler Alert: I’m never happy, in the long run. That’s why I’m single! But the reason I’m never happy isn’t a crazy expectation. Not really. I just want a gentleman. Is that really a taller order than y’all can fulfill, guys? I want to be smiled at. I want to be reassured. I want to be romanced — and it doesn’t have to cost a dime. It could be as simple as putting on our favorite song and dancing in the middle of the living room or kitchen. I want some eye contact during dinner and stimulating conversation about life, the universe, and everything. I want someone who is faithful. <– THIS IS THE POINT OF FAILURE EVERY TIME. And I want to NOT be raped. <– ALSO A POINT OF FAILURE.

What is wrong with you assholes? How is it that only the already married women have “all the good ones”? (Oh, wait, they don’t — it just looks that way!) If women could read the minds of their men, they’d be livid every single day. Of this much, I can guarantee you.

I had the misfortune of dating an inexperienced person who put their head in the sand in perpetuity whenever something unpleasant arose between us. Now, I don’t scream or yell. I get frustrated, eventually, and run out of patience. When that happens, I tell them what my problem is and trust them to fix it of their own accord. That way, I’m not telling them who they should be, just how they’re mistreating me.

For example, Psycho Boy Ben (the inexperienced person — let’s stop playing pretend and holding the punches) would tell me how much he wanted to have sex with everyone but me. Male, female, didn’t matter. I was never the person he wanted. He told me “you are enough” once, really early in our relationship, but 10 days later, negated that by asking me for the fifth time if it was OK he kept seeing this whore named Eleanor. I thought the whole “enough” thing meant we’d gone exclusive. Shame on me for expecting a man’s words to actually be true.

I’ve been victim-shamed by therapists for assuming that’s what he meant, especially since that’s how my first marriage went. My ex-husband had a boyfriend when we began dating and eventually, he decided to break up with Xast and kept me instead. I bet you’re shaming me right now for thinking it at all. How dare I interpret a look of puppy love + “you are enough” to mean anything! How dare I trust the words of a man to be true!

Really? You’ve fallen that far from grace? He raped me and you defend him.

Excellent, that makes it oh-so-easy to determine who should live and who should die. This race deserves annihilation. I’ll see you on the other side of Ragnarok.

❤ Freyja

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