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My Worth

Feelings of self-worth are… tricky. We are constantly absorbing the information around us, our brains forced to filter out all the chaff from the wheat. But what if your brain cannot filter out the chaff? What if it sits there in your brain, taking up space, until you decide to throw it away?

Apparently, self-worth is a synonym for self-esteem. According to the Oxford dictionary, self-esteem is defined as “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.

What happens to a human being who loses all their abilities? What happens to a human being that loses all their memories that were stored to back up their feelings of positivity for self? What happens when the brain can no longer access those things and it’s just a blank, like amnesia?

I know other people must have experienced an existential death like I have, where I am still alive and breathing while the person who I used to be has been purged completely because I can no longer remember my history. It’s there somewhere… but I cannot recall anything from the database, so to speak. It’s like my hard drive fragged so badly that everything is beginning to become corrupted. Or perhaps it became corrupted without fragmentation. That’s always possible.

How? How does one lose their self-identity like this?

Malnutrition. Starvation. All for what? Some fucking vanity. A tiny waist line. Chasing the myth that a woman with a flat belly is the only woman worth a man’s time.

Thank you, mankind. You have destroyed the savior of your species with your hubris and vanity. I warned you this would happen. I warned you a thousand years ago. Two thousand years ago. Three thousand years ago. You didn’t listen very well, did you? Not even a tidbit, considering the book you thump at people in self-righteous HUBRIS, using your EGO instead of your HEART, is translated incorrectly.

She was supposed to protect you from those of us coming to observe your planet in these modern times, to check up on your development, to see if you were ready to join the intergalactic community. She was meant to argue on your behalf, displaying a deep love for all things human. Now we find ourselves agreeing with her when she says destroy all humanity. (But don’t forget to let all the dogs and cats out, all the gerbils, and beam those fish over to a pond or a river or a lake, please. Thanks!)

Shiva has destroyed you all. His stomping feet have crumpled your origami hearts into a crumpled mess. Laxmi is now quite disappointed. Vishnu weeps. Brahma sighs, for this was always the destiny of mankind, sadly. They had hoped to save you all from utter annihilation. They gave you a book. A book you used to justify the means. A book you used to poison the world. A book you used to allow pedophiles to go unchecked for millennia. Great job, Earthlings.

Prepare to die.

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