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Today I learned…

I was today years old when I learned that reiki practitioners are full of bullshit.

I read at least five online sites discussing sessions and charges and blah blah blah. It’s a scam, y’all. They want your $$$ and they ask too much information. Now, if you want a life coach on top of a reiki master, okay. Go to those people, let them charge you upwards of $100.00 for a healing session.

However, if all you want is a positive boost of energy because you heard all this bullshit before from someone, I posit that it’s just $35.00 for a healing session. (I accept Venmo, if you would like one.) That’s less than 50% what these shysters are charging to talk to you about your life history. (90 minutes of your time + up to $200.00 out of your pocket. If your time is worth a lot to you, that’s $300.00 for a session!)

I long distance heal twice a day. My healing is so profound, it will make you fall asleep if you are comfortable and relaxed, so I restrict it to the evenings only. I’ve already made more than a dozen people fall asleep within minutes of receiving the healing energies that I offer. I watch people stooping over stand up straighter when I heal them in person, too.

I need you to know that reiki is like taking Tylenol, though. It doesn’t fix anything, only you can fix the problem. Chances are, there’s a problem in your diet, your understanding of an event, or other issue. Yes, reiki can help you understand how to overcome these things. You still have to do the work yourself, no matter what anyone says. And since I just told you that, I need you to understand that you have to be willing to change in order to fix problems in your life.

If you’re not willing to change, you’re wasting your precious resources on band-aids. (If you can afford it, definitely book me as often as you like, by the way!)

Let me explain scientifically how reiki actually works and you’ll see why I’ve told you it’s just a band-aid, most of the time.

There is a universal life source energy all around us. I believe this is one and the same with the mysterious Cosmic Background Radiation. From Wikipedia on 6/5/2022, 12:29 PM CST: “Cosmic background radiation is electromagnetic radiation from the Big Bang.”

This energy is everywhere. It never ceases. It is abundant. Anyone can access it once they’re told how to. Reiki masters pay to learn how to access it. That’s it.

There are more than 25 types of reiki. The most popular reiki is the original, called Usui Reiki, which was founded in Japan by some dude starving himself to death and suddenly receiving a blast of enlightenment, probably to his third eye. He woke up and he learned there were some symbols that spoke to him, which had meaning. The meanings are: Grounding, God’s Wisdom/Reiki, Power, Emotional Harmony, Distance, and Master/Enlightenment.

These symbols have Japanese names you could memorize, but why bother? You’re just learning about what reiki is. You’ll have to pay for a class to learn how to do it. Each symbol changes the energy being directed to you. It targets a specific symptom of whatever ails you. It doesn’t solve your problem, it greases the wheels to help you solve your own problem.

There is a simpler form of reiki called Kundalini Reiki, which is my specialty. Kundalini Reiki is less of a science, if you will. There is no reason to tell the universe how to direct its energy flow, there is only a reason to observe it and direct it to you. Because of this, the energy will flow through you, patching up all the cracks, nooks, and crannies in your aura of energy. (We all have auras, it’s the bio-electric energy that keeps our bodies moving. That’s what I think, anyway.)

That means I don’t have to waste your time to learn about your life if you want to stay private. It means I don’t have to talk to you to give you a reiki attunement. In fact, I don’t want to. Your energy can imbalance me, especially if it is very negative in general. An energy imbalance from an extremely negative person can last for days, impairing my ability to heal. That’s why my sessions are no-contact sessions.

That doesn’t mean I won’t talk to you at all… it means I’m not going to meet you in person. It means I’m keeping my distance to protect myself from negativity. In fact, going to the grocery store — a very simple, every day task — can be enough to imbalance me. Thankfully, that doesn’t last as long as speaking directly with a Negative Nancy in person.

Anyway, the point is, you don’t have to spend thousands for your band-aid reiki healing. You can use me for a discount! You can also get some life coaching online via Discord (Super_Fox#8259), but that’s free. You can donate if you like, but I’m not going to charge you.

You might wonder why. Most people would, amirite? I’m not going to be your friend. I’m going to be your tribal shaman soothsayer. I will give you tough love if that’s what you need. I will not sugar coat it. I will not be kind for the sake of kindness. Beating around the bush wastes everyone’s time, especially mine.

I will absolutely be real. I will tell you when you are in the wrong. I will also tell you when everyone else is in the wrong. Accept that you are part of the problem until you decide to be the solution. And if you need spiritual guidance, I will give that, too. I need you to understand that it comes from God. God will not come to you; you will come to God.

You do that by speaking to me, His chosen mouth piece. That is the only way it is consensual. For YOU to decide to seek God through me. You don’t even have to believe in him. I sure don’t. But he’s around anyway, talking to me all the time, driving me crazy because I’m not talking to you. He will be respectful if you are respectful. He will be the opposite if your actions call for it. I have sacrificed my will for Him so that He can speak to you.

I’m an atheist, so it’s a bit weird, but you know… I accepted it a long time ago, really. I told him that he can have whatever he needs as long as I get true love. That’s all I want from this world. It’s the only thing I can never get from the people I tried to give it to. God knows exactly who my future husband is and has shown him to me: he is a man in a deli. A very humble job, don’t you think?

Honestly, it could be ANY man in the world with enough training. I’m not vain. I don’t care what your envelope looks like. Nicer envelopes are delightful, but unnecessary. Envelopes have a job, that is all. Some of them are arranged in pleasing ways, but most of those people are vain. God doesn’t like that and neither do I. Vanity makes you mean. I don’t want a mean man. I never did. In fact, I’ve had my fair share and then some. No, thank you. They hurt me. I’ve been hurt enough if you couldn’t tell by the rest of this blog.

In fact, I’ve had enough of all the shenanigans of mankind. I’m up to my eyeballs in disappointment in you all. It’s what led me to suicide, which ultimately led me to God, which is who is typing to you right now. In fact, this whole blog is by me! GOD!

Read carefully, children of Earth. The end is nigh. This planet is basically dead already. You have only yourselves to blame, too. “I’m superior! I have higher thought!” Are YOU so sure about THAT?

I’m not. You destroyed my oceans, my rivers, my mountains, my forests, my creatureseverything. To say I’m displeased is to put it mildly.

It’s okay. You’ve outer space to defile, as well. It’s not dead yet! Oh wait, there’s no life out there, is there? There is, though. I warn you now… if you leave, you never get to come back to Eden. Earth. I won’t let you have it back ever again.

Let your little brain whirl around that for a while.

Rat by Penelope Scott on Spotify.

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