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What Do You Need a Woman For?


“Diego, what exactly do you need a woman for?” Sansara asked him coquettishly. She’d obtained Crystal’s answer on the topic. Now she wanted to know his.

“Sex. Uh… logic. Her logic is superior to mine, I have to say. She has ideas I wouldn’t dream up in a million years, too. Companionship. It’s always better to do something with a friend,” Diego replied. He paused from sanding a table in his grandpa’s workshop, scratching his head. “Why do you ask, Sansara?”

“Oh, no reason. I just wanted to know how your answer differed from Crystal’s,” she responded slyly.

Diego looked to his right, going quiet, staring at the wall. He did this every time Sansara messed with his head, really. “Well, how does it compare, you fiend?” he asked, wishing he could tickle Sansara until she cried for mercy. Or peed herself. He’d be satisfied with either outcome. She was a pain in the ass, half the time.

“Oh, you want to know, do you?” Sansara teased him.

He nodded emphatically. “Yes, I do, you crazy witch!” he exclaimed. “Tell me, or I’m beating my head against the wall.”

“Stop your theatrics, young man. I’ll tell you. I just thought the anticipation might make it better,” she said, mentally thumping his head. She paused to make sure he was listening. His brain started inserting what he wanted to hear, which was exactly what he’d just said to her.

Sansara shook his head, then waited again. This time, he stayed silent for a good thirty seconds, so she proceeded. “Her first answer was one word: companionship,” Sansara began. Diego returned to sanding as he listened, keeping his mind quiet. It was more effort than he could really say, to be silent internally.

Sansara ruffled his hair appreciatively. “She thinks sex is a given,” Sansara told him, making Diego smile and nod happily. “So there’s no reason to focus on it, because it just happens. Spontaneously.” Diego tried to stop himself from thinking the question he wanted to ask, but it came out anyway.

“Why haven’t we had sex yet?” he asked Sansara.

“Because she’s been abused, young man. In more ways than you can easily imagine. I think it would take you seven and a half weeks to think of them all, and even then you’d miss a few,” Sansara told him.

He frowned then, not liking that answer at all. “Will you tell me about them so I can avoid doing the same things?” he asked finally. Sansara had paused, waiting for more of his overactive brain.

“Crystal will do that herself, really, if you honestly want to know. I can facilitate it next time you see her, if you like?” Sansara offered to him. He nodded, thinking that would make it so much easier to avoid pitfalls, trap doors, and triggers. “Fine, I shall.”

Sansara waited, in case he had more inadvertent questions. It didn’t, so she continued, “She elaborated on what companionship meant to her some length, listing a bunch of activities she wanted to do together…” As if prompted, she listed them all for him before finishing, “She said above all else, she wanted someone loyal to her to share the rest of her life with. If it’s not obvious, she is offering what she’s asking for.”

Diego bit his lip, rocking back on his heels as he thought about that. His ex-wife cheated on him, but it didn’t end there. Every person he’d ever been with cheated on him. He never could understand why, but the echo of Crystal’s words rang through his head again: Cheaters cheat because they’re insecure or inadequate.

“I’ll have you know,” Sansara began as he contemplated that, “that the few times that Crystal has felt inadequate or insecure, she tried to obtain security from her mate, and when they failed to provide it, she snooped.”

Diego looked in the mirror he’d put up ever since Sansara started speaking to him, looking himself in the eye since it made him feel like he was making eye contact with the woman in his head. “That’s it?” he asked her sincerely. That sounded wonderful, honestly… he never stepped out on anyone in his life. He was always happy with his mates, but they never stayed happy. He didn’t know why, either. He asked them all, but they didn’t give him anything concrete to help him improve himself.

“Well, she did throw a crock pot on the floor once,” Sansara admitted. “But she’s never, ever cheated. Not once. She makes sure the other person knows it’s over and then, typically, waits for them to be out of her system, or tries to.”

Diego sighed softly. Wowza. A loyal lady! And she’d told him she desired to be married several times now, never once saying she didn’t want him to be the one she was married to. In fact, he’d never seen her hang out with anyone he didn’t end up spending time with first. She stayed at home with her purr babies, primarily. She didn’t even go out to eat, preferring to stay in and cook something from scratch. And he did mean scratch… it seemed like anything convenient to other human beings bothered her digestive system, which was a real bummer. It was impossible to take her out to dinner. She was celiac, after all, and there were very few gluten-free establishments.

“The crock pot was hers,” Sansara mused. “I don’t think she’s ever broken anything of someone else’s on purpose, although sometimes she gets the urge to do so.” Diego chuckled at the additional information, his head still spinning with how he’d like to marry the woman. He didn’t care if she was sick and he absolutely didn’t care if she was a bit crazy.

“Sansara… tell me straight, you imp… will she marry me?” Diego asked the telepath.

He found his head nodding automatically, which indicated yes. Sansara whispered into his mind, “Size 7, you idiot. White sapphires, not diamonds. White gold. Purple, if you want an accent color. The royal variety. Also prepare to beg for forgiveness, since you jilted her once from the marriage proposal, you imbecile! How dare you refuse to marry her because she didn’t want a white dress. What kind of asshole are you, anyway? I need a woman in a white dress,” she mocked ruthlessly. “To tell the whole world she’s pure of heart, which they never are,” she said, imagining thumping him again, wanting to hurt the man for hurting her baby.

Picture of an ombre purple sleeveless ballgown dress with butterfly appliques.

He thought back to the ballgown she’d ordered that was now sitting in her closet. He felt like a complete tool. Why did he get upset with her for choosing a dress that reflected her personality? What really got him was that she started adding bling to it herself, making it sparkle. She bought this crazy thing and decided to modify it. He was completely cowed by it, too. She’d bought purple opera gloves, purple glittering ballroom flats, and a cloak with white fur lining. It was elegant and the epitome of kitschy, which he had liked, but not for a wedding march.

Now he’d be lucky if she’d agree to anything but the Justice of the Peace marrying them, Sansara thought to herself. She thought for a moment she’d accidentally told Diego that, but he didn’t respond to her. She smiled, figuring her work here was nearly done. She was eager to go home. She was Crystal’s fairy godmother, but they both thought she was a telepath on another planet. It was a great ruse these days, making all the kids on Earth believe in spacelings.


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